Thinking about all of you

Hi, I just wanted to say that I am still reading this forum and still thinking about alot of you that I have spoken to in the past. Diana and I are doing ok, we still have our days, many of them sometimes, that we still get very sad about losing Eddie back in September. Life is not the same but we are trying to figure out our "new life" without him. I cannot believe that six months has past, I, personally, feel like I am coming out of a dream, a bad dream, starting to remember things that happened a year ago, things Ed said or things Ed did. It is like I was there but not really there. I think stress does funny things to us and to our "heads". I think I went through his illness like one day at a time, not ever really sitting down and thinking about how it would be when he is gone. It is almosst like my mind "went dead" in some form, you just get so busy with doctors, chemo, radiation, patient care, that you lose yourself until it is all over and you finally have the time to reflect and look back.

We are starting to do things like go to the movies, out to dinner, visit with family, things that are starting to make us happy again. I still have my bad days, something so simple as to look at his picture on my bureau, a song that comes on the radio still brings me to tears.
It's no everyday like before, but it still happens. We have somewhat ended our therapy, it has been almost a year and a half seeing her and we feel that it's time to stop all doctor's appointments and start living. She was a tremdous help throughout the past year and we couldn't have done it without her.

Sherri, I hope you are doing well, I will get in touch with you soon, I think of you often.
Hope you are holding up ok.

Just wanted everyone who has touched our hearts in the past year to know we are "okay".
I have learned to go back before Ed got sick and remember the great 24 years of marriage that we had. I have learned to forgive him for all those nasty things he said and did last year, realizing that it was probably the cancer and not my "ed".

I pray for all of you who is going through this ordeal and wish you all the best.

Sincerely,

Linda and Diana