i cant wrap my mind around this
Comments
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I am so sorry you have joined
this club that nobody really wants to join. I guess we all react to the horrifying news in different ways. I think I was in shock for awhile. I was told by the gastroenterologist who read my cat scan that there was nothing they could do for me. I lived with that thought until I saw the gyn/onc who eventually did my surgery. He gave me hope. In my mind I thought I only had a few months to live. I had chemo, then surgery then more chemo. I was pronounced NED (no evidence of disease) in early November 2010. It is only natural that you feel bad. If you need to, talk to a professional. There is a lot of help out there. But for now feel what you feel. Talk to a family member or friend that will listen to whatever you have to say. I found I couldn't talk to my mom or son because they found it so hard to see me upset. We are here for you. There are so many supportive women on this board and many of them do a lot of research to find out what the latest news is about this disease. What helped me is that I just wanted to live. This disease puts everything in perspective. Nothing is more important to me than being with my family and friends. I went through the hell of treatment with that in mind. It's hard, I won't sugar coat it but you will find your strength. Best of luck to you.
Karen0 -
I FOUND OUT A YEAR AGO THAT
I FOUND OUT A YEAR AGO THAT I HAVE OVARIAN CANCER WHICH IS WIDE SPREAD, INCURABLE, AND INOPERABLE. I HAVE MAYBE CRIED THREE TIMES. I HAVE HAD CHEMO 16 TIMES ALREADY. I AM NOW DOING DOXIL CHEMO AND AM HAVING A HUGH PROBLEM WITH MY LEFT FOOT AND HAND. I WALK WITH A LIMP NOW AND CAN NOT GRASP OR MAKE A FIST. I WAS GIVEN TWO YEARS. IF YOUR DOCTOR SAID THAT THINGS LOOK GOOD; TAKE THAT AS GREAT NEWS AND RUN WITH IT. TRY TO KEEP A POSITIVE OUTLOOK ANYWAY YOU CAN. GO TO SUPPORT GROUPS, TALK TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY. KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!!!!
MARIE0 -
I FOUND OUT A YEAR AGO THAT
I FOUND OUT A YEAR AGO THAT I HAVE OVARIAN CANCER WHICH IS WIDE SPREAD, INCURABLE, AND INOPERABLE. I HAVE MAYBE CRIED THREE TIMES. I HAVE HAD CHEMO 16 TIMES ALREADY. I AM NOW DOING DOXIL CHEMO AND AM HAVING A HUGH PROBLEM WITH MY LEFT FOOT AND HAND. I WALK WITH A LIMP NOW AND CAN NOT GRASP OR MAKE A FIST. I WAS GIVEN TWO YEARS. IF YOUR DOCTOR SAID THAT THINGS LOOK GOOD; TAKE THAT AS GREAT NEWS AND RUN WITH IT. TRY TO KEEP A POSITIVE OUTLOOK ANYWAY YOU CAN. GO TO SUPPORT GROUPS, TALK TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY. KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!!!!
MARIE0 -
You've come to the right place
Dear Sherri,
I'm sorry to meet you under these circumstances, but you've come to a place where your feelings will be well understood and many of your questions can be answered. First of all....you are not alone. A cancer diagnosis is life altering and you've only had a month to try and adjust. The wonderful and loving survivors on this site have gotten me through many rough times. I've had 3C/OVCA for almost 5 years. We're here to help.
((((HUGS)))) Maria0 -
SherriMwee said:You've come to the right place
Dear Sherri,
I'm sorry to meet you under these circumstances, but you've come to a place where your feelings will be well understood and many of your questions can be answered. First of all....you are not alone. A cancer diagnosis is life altering and you've only had a month to try and adjust. The wonderful and loving survivors on this site have gotten me through many rough times. I've had 3C/OVCA for almost 5 years. We're here to help.
((((HUGS)))) Maria
I have OVCA stage 3 and have been NED as I am approaching my 2 yr mark. I too am sorry you have to meet us all this way but you have found a wonderful group of women who are here to discuss anything you want. Have a good cry, we all do it, and then lift up your head and plow forward. We are all here to help. Please stay in touch and my prayers and hugs are with you.
Verna0 -
Welcomevj1 said:Sherri
I have OVCA stage 3 and have been NED as I am approaching my 2 yr mark. I too am sorry you have to meet us all this way but you have found a wonderful group of women who are here to discuss anything you want. Have a good cry, we all do it, and then lift up your head and plow forward. We are all here to help. Please stay in touch and my prayers and hugs are with you.
Verna
Welcome to our survivor network. There is no way you could have been prepared for what happened unless you had been through this before. What you are going through is normal and to be expected--it is just hard when your world has been turned upside down. I used to say "it's like getting hit by a tornado." It will get better in time.
Maybe you don't know anyone who has survived cancer. One out of 20 people in America are cancer survivors--we are everywhere and look like ordinary people. I agree: "it's like a club that we wished no one would join." Many of us have been where you are now.
If you feel stuck with your feelings, you might consider working with a therapist who has experience in helping people who are dealing with the diagnosis of cancer. You are still YOU--you have a LOT more wellness than illness.0 -
crying
I pretty much know how you feel. I was diagnosed about a year ago, and I'm pretty sure I cried daily for about 3 months. Then I took stock, saw all the living I'd done SINCE being diagnosed, and decided to focus on the joys of daily living. In my experience, a doctor telling you that things look good is a powerful, positive bit of news. I don't think docs like to give false expectations. Are you getting regular CA125 tests? Are the results showing a drop? Then you can celebrate that. Most cancer centers have counseling support. Mine has a monthly Ovarian Cancer support group too. Use those services if you can. You may be surprised at how helpful they are. I was.0 -
diagnosis
I was diagnosed last year with Stage III C when I had to have emergency surgery to unblock my colon. I will never forget waking up from surgery and my husband telling me I had ovarian cancer. We cried and cried but then had to deal with so many issues I did not have time to cry. Many of the other survivors have offered wonderful suggestions. The CSN has been good for me plus I cry when I need to with my family. If you belong to a church that can also be a source of support. I pray alot for strength and guidance, I meditate and use visualization to help me relax. I also read many books on cancer and on healing. We all understand what you are going through and I hope you can find a professional or support group that will help. You should rejoice in the fact that the doc said things look good and it has not spread.You are stronger than you know and you will get through this.
Chris0 -
you are not doomed
There are many ladies here who have been survivors for a very long time. It is pretty scarey when the big C is mentioned and al you can think about is not so pleasant. You will get through this and eventually stop crying and fight like hell, as this is a battle that can be won Stay positive and have friends and family help on bad days. Best of luck and keep us posted on your progress..val0 -
There is a silver lining....
Sherri,
I read your post and wanted to respond and let you know that I was dx with Ovarian Cancer August 26, 2005 and have passed the five year mark without recurrence. I saw my onc in February and he has released me to once a year follow ups with my gyne so I don't have to see him for follow-ups at this time. I remember feeling lost and not in control when I received my dx as well as scared to death. You will get through this, please try and not let the "what if's" consume you and don't let having cancer own you. Listen to your doctors and take care of yourself while you are going through chemo. I was put on Lorazepam during chemo and it seemed to help with the anxiety and Lunesta for sleeping which was a god send. Having had ovarian cancer 5 years ago has made me the person I am today, I am stronger and I don't sweat the small stuff and I try and live my life to the fullest.
Serenity Prayer:
God Grant me the Serentity to accept the things that I cannot change, Courage to change the things that I can, and Wisdom to know the difference....
Take Care and Sending you a big hug,
Leslie
0 -
Thank you Lesliecurlyq1971 said:There is a silver lining....
Sherri,
I read your post and wanted to respond and let you know that I was dx with Ovarian Cancer August 26, 2005 and have passed the five year mark without recurrence. I saw my onc in February and he has released me to once a year follow ups with my gyne so I don't have to see him for follow-ups at this time. I remember feeling lost and not in control when I received my dx as well as scared to death. You will get through this, please try and not let the "what if's" consume you and don't let having cancer own you. Listen to your doctors and take care of yourself while you are going through chemo. I was put on Lorazepam during chemo and it seemed to help with the anxiety and Lunesta for sleeping which was a god send. Having had ovarian cancer 5 years ago has made me the person I am today, I am stronger and I don't sweat the small stuff and I try and live my life to the fullest.
Serenity Prayer:
God Grant me the Serentity to accept the things that I cannot change, Courage to change the things that I can, and Wisdom to know the difference....
Take Care and Sending you a big hug,
Leslie
It is reassuring to read your post. So often we concentrate on the negative because of the statistics we are given. You have beaten the odds so far and that gives hope to a seemingly hopeless situation.
Karen0 -
I hope you feel better
You are going thru totally normal emotions but if you can't get them under control you can ask your dr for help that is also normal. My dr right away offered me anti-depressants I didn't take them but wouldn't hesitate to if I feel too sad.
Your dr said things look good for you, I would run with that ! This is a chronic disease with ups and downs. My Dr did not say things look good for me but things are changing everyday ,people are trying vacines, new treatments and your job is to keep your body as strong as you can so you will be here for that treatment that will work !
If it helps you come back here often,the women here are awesome and know what you are going thru.
Colleen0 -
Hidden Blessings in Times of Turmoil
I remember the depression I experienced when I was diagnosed with OVCA in February 2010. I kept thinking "not me, nobody in my immediate family has ever had cancer." It was very difficult at first. I am hopeful that as you progress through your treatments that you will discover what all on this board have learned, that life is very precious. We look at life with a renewed joy each day. Family and friends become so much more important. The air is refreshing, flowers are beautiful, life is much more appreciated now than before our diagnoses. You will meet new friends and caregivers who really do want to help you, so let them help. Love of others and a positive outlook are so important, but it is good to cry sometimes. The women on this board are very helpful and loving. We care about you. Take care and may God's blessings be upon you. Love, Betty0 -
Sherri
I am so sorry that you are going through this. As everyone else has stated. We all handle things differently. My only advice to you is to read all the posts on here. Read peoples' blogs. Like the sayings goes: Cancer is a Word - not a Sentence. Listen to your doctors. If they tell you your CA has not spread and your future looks good ... You must believe that. They typically don't sugar coat things! Do you have a support group or Wellness Community that you could join for support? My advice to friends is to go ahead and have a pity party for yourself now and again ... but then you gotta strap on those Kick A** boots and get to work getting rid of this thang and then get on with living your life to the fullest. I realize that I have been blessed with a positive attitude my entire life. Not one of my doctors believed for a moment that I would be alive 8 years after my diagnosis. My surgeon actually told me that I seemed a bit "smug" and possibly didn't understand the severity of my situation. My Ca has always been treated as chronic. But I honestly believe that my positive attitude has kept me alive. Please try to turn a corner and make plans for what you are going to do after you finish treatment. I always have something to look forward to. First time was a white kitten ...next time was a Caribbean vacation. Another time was a shade garden in my front landscaping. Last time was re-connecting with an old friend. Check.
Another thing - Please let people know what it is you do need. If you would like a friend to come over and watch a movie or help with laundry. If people ask - and they are sincere. Let them help you! Please try to find a way out of your funk. Your energies are needed to keep up your strength during chemo so you can stay on schedule and get finished!
You Can Do It!
Take care,
Lea0 -
My Internist told me, viaLea19 said:Sherri
I am so sorry that you are going through this. As everyone else has stated. We all handle things differently. My only advice to you is to read all the posts on here. Read peoples' blogs. Like the sayings goes: Cancer is a Word - not a Sentence. Listen to your doctors. If they tell you your CA has not spread and your future looks good ... You must believe that. They typically don't sugar coat things! Do you have a support group or Wellness Community that you could join for support? My advice to friends is to go ahead and have a pity party for yourself now and again ... but then you gotta strap on those Kick A** boots and get to work getting rid of this thang and then get on with living your life to the fullest. I realize that I have been blessed with a positive attitude my entire life. Not one of my doctors believed for a moment that I would be alive 8 years after my diagnosis. My surgeon actually told me that I seemed a bit "smug" and possibly didn't understand the severity of my situation. My Ca has always been treated as chronic. But I honestly believe that my positive attitude has kept me alive. Please try to turn a corner and make plans for what you are going to do after you finish treatment. I always have something to look forward to. First time was a white kitten ...next time was a Caribbean vacation. Another time was a shade garden in my front landscaping. Last time was re-connecting with an old friend. Check.
Another thing - Please let people know what it is you do need. If you would like a friend to come over and watch a movie or help with laundry. If people ask - and they are sincere. Let them help you! Please try to find a way out of your funk. Your energies are needed to keep up your strength during chemo so you can stay on schedule and get finished!
You Can Do It!
Take care,
Lea
My Internist told me, via his cell phone on his way out of town, that my gall bladder was fine, but, "It looks like you have ovarian cancer." He went on to tell me that mine was "probably stage 3, at least," and that the 5 year survival rate was less than 30%. I am rarely speechles, but this time I was literally speechless.
That was September 17, 2009. I have been thru the proverbial wringer since then, but I'm still alive and will never, ever, ever give up.
Share your feelings, and your condition. You will find support in some of the most unlikely places, believe me. There is not a burden in the world that doesn't get lighter when you share it. I insisted on telling everyone myself, in my own way. Some I wrote to, some I emailed, but most I told face-to-face. My oldest granddaughter said, "It just makes me so sad." Indeed, it does. But you will find some really special moments in the midst of all that sadness.
I have cried a LOT. At first, I cried every day. I still cry, but not nearly as often, and many times the tears are for someone else. I have lost some cyber sisters that meant the world to me, and I have cried rivers of tears for them. Tears are very cleansing. They wash away a lot of bad feelings and once we're all cried out, we can get on with the things that need doing - things that tears can't change.
I highly recommend www.carcinista.com for laughs, inspiration, and the human perspective on ovarian cancer.
Keep coming back and unload on us any time. We are always here for you.
Carlene0 -
It seems like a lot ofHissy_Fitz said:My Internist told me, via
My Internist told me, via his cell phone on his way out of town, that my gall bladder was fine, but, "It looks like you have ovarian cancer." He went on to tell me that mine was "probably stage 3, at least," and that the 5 year survival rate was less than 30%. I am rarely speechles, but this time I was literally speechless.
That was September 17, 2009. I have been thru the proverbial wringer since then, but I'm still alive and will never, ever, ever give up.
Share your feelings, and your condition. You will find support in some of the most unlikely places, believe me. There is not a burden in the world that doesn't get lighter when you share it. I insisted on telling everyone myself, in my own way. Some I wrote to, some I emailed, but most I told face-to-face. My oldest granddaughter said, "It just makes me so sad." Indeed, it does. But you will find some really special moments in the midst of all that sadness.
I have cried a LOT. At first, I cried every day. I still cry, but not nearly as often, and many times the tears are for someone else. I have lost some cyber sisters that meant the world to me, and I have cried rivers of tears for them. Tears are very cleansing. They wash away a lot of bad feelings and once we're all cried out, we can get on with the things that need doing - things that tears can't change.
I highly recommend www.carcinista.com for laughs, inspiration, and the human perspective on ovarian cancer.
Keep coming back and unload on us any time. We are always here for you.
Carlene
the medical "professionals" we've dealt with missed the class on bedside manners. I know they deal with life and death all the time but we don't. Luckily as I posted above, my gyn/surgeon and onc were more compassionate or it would have been even harder to get through this. I rarely cry for myself; it seems I've become somewhat of a fatalist. And believe me I am a crier. There's not a moment in the day, I don't think about my predicament but at this point I feel somewhat detached from it. Maybe because I feel so good and the memory of those horrible eight months has become hazy. I am determined to live like the person I was before this happened because in actuality I am still that person. Having said that, I am due for a CA125 in a couple of weeks and am starting to feel the dread.
Karen0
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