the coffee ain't workin' anymore

only coffee?
April,

I use coffee as a chaaser for redbull with a shot 5 hour energry boost in it...I write a day down llike tues Mar 29th. make no plans for that day and then crash you dont feel as depressed about wasteing a day since you planned for it. It works for me but I'm just a man...

Exhaustion
Yes, I am just plain tired. Unfortunately this grieving manifests itself in many ways. It has been nine months since my husband has passed and maybe doing a bit better. In the earlier months not only was I exhausted all the time, but I had joint pain, headaches, I was clumsy, lazy.... Just got to recognize all these things for what they are, symptoms of grief.

Not unusual
April,
I think you are just going through the after effects of losing Patrick. You were under so much stress during the time he was sick and didn't have time to be tired. Well, now you have all the time in the world and your body is just telling you "hey April, it's time to relax" so if you feel tired, lay down & rest. We have all gone through this stressful time and when all that crap is going on the adrenaline keeps pumping, but once it's over it's like "okay, now what??" We loved our guys and going on alone without them isn't an easy thing to do.
Today it's one year since I lost Tom. I feel like I'm just wiped out and I haven't done a darn thing. Other than cry and remember every last minute of that horrible night. I pray to God that it'll get easier, cause these memories although they are good ones of the times we spent together, but they're also so hard cause I wanted to grow old with him and here I sit alone! Please take care april. We are "Survivors" and we have to go on.
Friends forever, Carole

skipper85 said:

Tired & Achy Too

I guess I'm in the same boat with you guys. I'm tired from having weird dreams and when I do get a semi-good sleep I wake up and after breakfast I'm ready to crash again. I work from home and that's double bad because I'm not getting anything done. At least if I had an office job I'd have to work. Some days I just stay in my PJ's all day. My back is shot. I think why we have some aches & pains is that during our spouses illnesses our muscles were all tight because of the stress. Now that the main stress is going away (slowly) when we over use our muscles or backs we strain them. I've started stretching a lot. I started when I couldn't bend down to put on my underwear or pants (and I'm a slim person). I used to work out at Curves all the time but I quit that when Paul was sick and now the money just isn't there for it. I guess I'll have to go back to dancing with Richard Simmons :0 I love Richard.

It's good to know that others are having the same symptoms and they're all part of the process.

I'm so glad that Paul passed before me. I wouldn't want him to have to go through this. I don't think he could handle the grief. Thankfully he's in a much better place. I hope he's met up with your husbands. They all sound like they would get along great.

Let's try and keep our spirits up one day at a time - one hour at a time. We're going to make it through this.

Skipper

'Cause in my mind, peace I'd
'Cause in my mind, peace I'd find,
When they'd start to pour.....

One day at a time love, 1 minute even. In time, the exhaustion will pass. And then, it will rear it's ugly head again!! Dang it!!! Push through.....

I feel ya on Aunt Flo......damn relatives!!!

Be good to yourself!
ELysia

mswijiknyc said:

the same leaky boat
Glad (but not glad) this isn't just me. It's like the littlest things require the most effort.

Seriously, LAUNDRY? I'm not even taking to the laundrymat! Holy cannoli . . .

But the more I think about it, all the pent up stress, tension, and waaaaay too much adrenaline has to go somewhere. For me, it's hives and facial swelling at random times. I'm just happy the swelling doesn't happen when I'm out. Oh dear God . . . and before you ask, no it's not an allergic reaction to anything. It just happens.

Case in point, when I got the phoenix on my calf, I hardly bled at all. When I went back to get some shading done this past weekend, I bled like a stuck pig. I'm really believing it now - this is all related.

For anyone curious, I'll put a pic up when it's healed. Can't really see much of anything at the moment

That should be a really neat
That should be a really neat tat; look forward to seeing it.
Dina

Pennymac02 said:

Curious
Girl, you know I'm curious. Definitely post a pic when you can. I'm currently working on getting a breast cancer and liver cancer ribbon tattoo entwined as a memorial. I have the spot picked out, just not the actual picture.
Penny

tats
How strange....I am not a tattoo person at all but for the last month have kept having this thought go through my head of getting a small one of a remembrance ribbon in the head/neck cancer color. Can't decide where I want to put it though. When you are our age, you start thinking about which areas of skin will sag the least! LOL
But then somebody asked if I really wanted to have a memory of my husband in front of me every day that represented the cancer and pain that he went through. Wouldn't I want good memories instead? So, I don't know. I'm still wrestling with it.

Meanwhile, my 19 year old daughter emails me last week to tell me not to get mad but that she was going to get a tattoo. I know she figured that I would freak out and yell at her (I guess that's why she emailed instead of telling me in person). She would also never do a tattoo of something frivolous like a butterfly, etc. She also wanted something to commemorate her dad and her loss. It was very rough for her 'cause she sat in the bathroom floor holding him in her arms as he bled to death. She has spoken very little about it but I know that the visions must haunt her. Anyway, what she wanted to have put on was - "Tough times don't last but tough people do. 01-08-11 ". How could I get mad at her for that? I actually broke down crying at my desk as I read it. When I answered her and told her I understood and that i had been considering one myself, she flipped. I'm sure she couldn't believe her "uncool" mom would ever do something like that. When my youngest son (12) saw hers, he wanted to know how old he had to be before he could get one. Oh boy...do tat parlors give group rates??
Debbie

TATS

Are Tats part of the grieving process? I recently had my ears pierced (at a tattoo place). I've never worn earrings in my life (I'm 62) and I just felt like it was time. My daughter got her tats there and she recommended it as being very sterile. Anyway, I have been thinking of getting a dragonfly. Just a small one to commemorate a new beginning. I'm not exactly feeling the "new beginning" right now but maybe in the future some time.

Right now I'm still always tired. I just want to sleep or vegg out.

Both my kids have 3 or 4 tats each. Every one of them commemorates a significant event in their life. They haven't gotten one in memory of their Dad yet, but I think that's because they are still coming to terms with his loss.

Would love to see any Tats you guys get. Right now I'd better get back to work or I should say start to do some work.

Skipper