stupid relatives
Comments
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sashSASH said:Stupid Comments
Mine wasn't a relative that made the stupid comments, it was a customer of my business.
After I finished all my treatments and went back to work, I answered the phone and as I was trying to give information to a customer over the phone, they said, "can't you talk clearer?"
My response was, "No, this is how I talk."
What I wanted to say was, "lets hear how you talk while your tongue just sits on the floor of your mouth without moving and see how clear you are."
In college my nickname was "What" because I always had to repeat what I said. After another tongue surgery and speech therapy I am talking much better. But still have a problem with the \K\ sound.
Linda0 -
Stupid and Just Human
Interesting thread, and something I've thought about. I'll make a longer post than usual.
Lots of bad answers to announcements that you have/had cancer are not stupid, just human. I told my neighbor recently that I had been home a lot in the last year because I've been being treated for cancer. She said a priest in her parish recently contracted cancer and died very quickly. She also said it would be great if she didn't have taste buds because she could sure lose some weight. I don't count her as stupid or mean. Most people simply don't know how to respond and don't say the right things. I didn't get upset because there was no reason.
My other thought is that we are often those people ourselves. I've heard insensitive comments by good people on this board in the last year. Any time you don't have a look at what your saying, or what you've said now and then, you can be one of those people. Once we are satisified that we are good people, tree huggers, good conservatives, caring types, not racisct, etc., it's easy to say the wrong thing. One of Socrates most quoted lines is that the unexamined life is not worth living. If anyone is totally convinced they would never say an inappropriate, thoughtless thing, they will.
Like John said, most of the folks who are repeat offenders won't accept correction anyway, but they are the minority, I hope. I still think it's worth responding if you can be sure the person deserves it though, if you can do it with your head. It might not change them, but it feels good. You have to be sure though, can't jump on someone like my neighbor, because most people will respond with a mindless answer reflexively.
Just my 4 cents.
Hal0 -
HalHal61 said:Stupid and Just Human
Interesting thread, and something I've thought about. I'll make a longer post than usual.
Lots of bad answers to announcements that you have/had cancer are not stupid, just human. I told my neighbor recently that I had been home a lot in the last year because I've been being treated for cancer. She said a priest in her parish recently contracted cancer and died very quickly. She also said it would be great if she didn't have taste buds because she could sure lose some weight. I don't count her as stupid or mean. Most people simply don't know how to respond and don't say the right things. I didn't get upset because there was no reason.
My other thought is that we are often those people ourselves. I've heard insensitive comments by good people on this board in the last year. Any time you don't have a look at what your saying, or what you've said now and then, you can be one of those people. Once we are satisified that we are good people, tree huggers, good conservatives, caring types, not racisct, etc., it's easy to say the wrong thing. One of Socrates most quoted lines is that the unexamined life is not worth living. If anyone is totally convinced they would never say an inappropriate, thoughtless thing, they will.
Like John said, most of the folks who are repeat offenders won't accept correction anyway, but they are the minority, I hope. I still think it's worth responding if you can be sure the person deserves it though, if you can do it with your head. It might not change them, but it feels good. You have to be sure though, can't jump on someone like my neighbor, because most people will respond with a mindless answer reflexively.
Just my 4 cents.
Hal
You are so right! I have to grow a thicker skin! One thing I have learned through all of this is to be the better person & walk away with a smile on my face! I know I have put my foot in my mouth on numerous occasion's! Thank you for your perspective on this!
God Bless
Roz0
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