A Trick To Help With Fear

anicca Member Posts: 334 Member
My mother died of breast cancer when I was 4, and her 3 sisters also died of cancer fairly early, so I grew up in fear that it would be my fate also. One day I realized that I might live to 90, and would have spent all that time in fear. That day I chose to fight the fear and it gradually stopped being a factor in my life. Now I am in fear again, of a recurrence of ovarian cancer. I just now realized that I can play the same game. What if I live for another 20 years without a recurrence, but have spent all that time in fear? I refuse to live in fear. (Now I need to repeat this 20 times every hour!)


  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    I'm with you.
    I try very hard to live in the now. We cannot control what might happen but we can make every effort to live the way we want to right now.

  • Christine B.
    Christine B. Member Posts: 137
    Okay Anicca
    Yours is a much better "what if" than the ones I come up with in my fears. Lately I have felt like I might be cut short on doing the things I should have done to help make this a better world. What if that's not true and I have lost that time to my fears?
    Thank you!
  • Tina Brown
    Tina Brown Member Posts: 1,036 Member
    Hello Anicca
    I so love your atittude. I am of a similar mind. Over the last 2 / 3 years I have begun to experience fear and anxiety. Not just from my own diagnosis but other life changing things that have happened to me. It sometimes seems I am living in constant fear and it was/is the worse ever feeling. So like you I realised that I was wasting my life being frightened. It is hard because it is like a wave that you can't control but once I think to myself that "it is just a feeling and it will go away soon" I am learning how to cope.

    You are very brave to have lost people close to you and to now have a battle on yourself. Once you can accept you have cancer and can live with it it kinda fades into the background some days. It becomes a new way of living. And yes - I refuse to live in fear.

    Love Tina xx
  • childofthestars
    childofthestars Member Posts: 251 Member
    I so agree with you on this and was just thinking the other day about 'wasting my life' fearing the what if scenario.
    I try very hard to look to the future but it does get HARD sometimes BUT I just try and accept this and let myself be 'fearful' for a day and then move on!
    Michelle x