PLEASE HELP!!!!!!! My very best friend.....
Comments
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I never liked support groups
I never liked support groups myself because I already had enough to deal with and didn't need to be upset about others going thru bc, surgery's and treatments at the time. But, I know some love them and they really help.
Everyone needs someone to talk to and this might help your friend.
I am very sorry for her diagnosis and you are already doing the best for her by just being there.
Listen to her, be around for her, call her, see if there is anything you can do to help her, including chores or shopping.
Praying for her,
Angie0 -
BethAngie2U said:I never liked support groups
I never liked support groups myself because I already had enough to deal with and didn't need to be upset about others going thru bc, surgery's and treatments at the time. But, I know some love them and they really help.
Everyone needs someone to talk to and this might help your friend.
I am very sorry for her diagnosis and you are already doing the best for her by just being there.
Listen to her, be around for her, call her, see if there is anything you can do to help her, including chores or shopping.
Praying for her,
Angie
The best support group you will ever find is right here. There are people on this board constantly (day and night), and all are willing to help a person who is having problems, needs to ask a question, needs a shoulder to lean on, etc. If you would guide her to this board, I am sure she will be glad she found it. Cancer survivors are a unique bunch. Not only are they willing to share their wisdom, but are willing to extend a hand to help those who are going through the journey either by themselves, or with physical support. We would love to have her join us, and I promise she will find solace here. Hugs, Judy0 -
Send her our way! For
Send her our way! For yourself be in contact with her. It is amazing how quickly friends drop away. Listen to her, hug her, Clean her house, shop for her, cook for her, when she is up to it take her out. If she has kids take them out for the afternoon so that she can rest. Ask her what you can do for her.0 -
Beth, early on in treatment,creampuff91344 said:Beth
The best support group you will ever find is right here. There are people on this board constantly (day and night), and all are willing to help a person who is having problems, needs to ask a question, needs a shoulder to lean on, etc. If you would guide her to this board, I am sure she will be glad she found it. Cancer survivors are a unique bunch. Not only are they willing to share their wisdom, but are willing to extend a hand to help those who are going through the journey either by themselves, or with physical support. We would love to have her join us, and I promise she will find solace here. Hugs, Judy
I just couldn't do a support group. I spent all my energy on treatments, appointments, etc., etc. What I really got benefit from was my understanding husband and dear friends and family. But not always. There were just some days when I couldn't talk to anyone and my husband would screen calls. Then other days, a good long talk with a dear friend was wonderful.
Everyone is different. Be a good listener. Don't offer unsolicited advice or talk in platitudes--such as "you're going to be just fine" or "don't be worried" or "so many others have been through this--you'll do fine". I found that people just didn't know what to say, and sometimes what they did say made me feel worst.
I had two good girl friends nearby who brought over casseroles/dinners every other day or so when I was at my worst. I couldn't always eat them, but it made me feel less guilty about not being able to cook for my husband. My far-away friends emailed me, sent me tons of cards and letters just to let me know I was in their thoughts and prayers. If your friend has small children, offer to take them for a couple of hours here and there, or give them rides to places they need to go. Pick up groceries or do other errands if your friend is unable to do them. Even if she is feeling pretty well with treatment, sometimes the fatigue is debilitating.
You are obviously a good friend to her to come on here on her behalf. Bless you for that.
This is a wonderful forum of those of us who have been where she is. I hope she visits us soon.
Hugs, Renee0 -
What a nice friend you are
Beth,
How wonderful that you care enough about your friend to try and find someone she can speak with. I was diagnosed last year at the age of 43. I've had 2 surgeries (lumpectomy and partial mastectomy) and am due to give my final decision regarding double mastectomy to my surgeon this coming April 7th. I suspect I will be holding off on the surgery for now. So in that respect, my situation is different than your friend since I have an option - at least for the time being.
I don't know what area you live in, but in my area finding a support group was not something that worked out for me. While there were groups available, they only met during the work day and I HAD to continue working through all of my treatment. Perhaps where you live, the situation is different or there are groups that meet at times convenient for your friend.
The path of treatment is similar between women and also different. Treatment depends on the type and grade of cancer and also the overall medical condition of the woman. And of course everyone responds differently to treatment. So it isn't always easy to draw a straight line between treatment and side effects. There is a wide range of "normal" when it comes to side effects. Some ladies have almost no side effects and some have many.
This site is a safe place to land for any woman that has to go through the nightmare of bc. Have your friend join to post questions as she has them. If she's not comfortable, then you should feel free to post questions for her.
I don't know if this has been helpful to you or not - but I hope it has! Best wishes to your friend and a big hug to you for being a great friend!
Michele0 -
Beth,
Is your friend of
Beth,
Is your friend of facebook? If so, message me her name & I'll "introduce" myself to her on there. I am also 35,I was 34 when I was diagnosed last June. I had stage 2 cancer in my right breast but also decided on having a bilateral mastectomy. I had 6 rounds of chemo. I'm currently in remission -I'd love to chat with your friend & be available for any questions she might have or just to share my store & offer encouragement. I'm currently in remission. I personally did join a local support group for younger women called Young Survivors. I didn't join though, until a few months after I was done with chemo. While having my chemo treatments it was hard enough just concentrating on getting through chemo!
*hugs*
Heather0 -
Good Friends
Beth, good friends such as yourself are invaluable to those of us going thru bc. All the ladies who have responded to you have given you wonderful advice as to what more you can do to help her. I too would strongly encourage your friend to find us - one if not more of us will most likely have gone thru the same treatment your friend has and can offer advice and all of us stand ready to listen, support and give cyber hugs as needed. I was dx three years ago - I didn't need chemo but I did have a masectomy so I can help in that area.
Your friend is very lucky to have you in her corner. Hugs to you both. Sally0 -
thank youAngie2U said:I never liked support groups
I never liked support groups myself because I already had enough to deal with and didn't need to be upset about others going thru bc, surgery's and treatments at the time. But, I know some love them and they really help.
Everyone needs someone to talk to and this might help your friend.
I am very sorry for her diagnosis and you are already doing the best for her by just being there.
Listen to her, be around for her, call her, see if there is anything you can do to help her, including chores or shopping.
Praying for her,
Angie
i barely begin to read and my eyes already fill with tears....thank u so much0 -
deAnnaHeatherbelle said:Beth,
Is your friend of
Beth,
Is your friend of facebook? If so, message me her name & I'll "introduce" myself to her on there. I am also 35,I was 34 when I was diagnosed last June. I had stage 2 cancer in my right breast but also decided on having a bilateral mastectomy. I had 6 rounds of chemo. I'm currently in remission -I'd love to chat with your friend & be available for any questions she might have or just to share my store & offer encouragement. I'm currently in remission. I personally did join a local support group for younger women called Young Survivors. I didn't join though, until a few months after I was done with chemo. While having my chemo treatments it was hard enough just concentrating on getting through chemo!
*hugs*
Heather
Thank you so much.....You all have been so helpful!!!! OMG from the moment I got onto this site I could feel my jaw clenching,my mouth watering, and my eyes filling up with tears trying to fight from crying... You all have touched my heart more than yall will ever know, and I thank you for that!!
Heather, her name for facebook is DeAnna Duran and she is from mansfield La, lives in Sulphur la... I really really realllly thank you.... it may take her a while to get back with you... but i know that when she is "ready" she will..
thank you again -Beth0 -
So sorryBeth Guillory said:thank you
i barely begin to read and my eyes already fill with tears....thank u so much
Just do what you have been doing for her, be her friend.
Hugs, Diane0 -
Beth just remember this isMiss Murphy said:Good Friends
Beth, good friends such as yourself are invaluable to those of us going thru bc. All the ladies who have responded to you have given you wonderful advice as to what more you can do to help her. I too would strongly encourage your friend to find us - one if not more of us will most likely have gone thru the same treatment your friend has and can offer advice and all of us stand ready to listen, support and give cyber hugs as needed. I was dx three years ago - I didn't need chemo but I did have a masectomy so I can help in that area.
Your friend is very lucky to have you in her corner. Hugs to you both. Sally
Beth just remember this is open to all, so any personal info should be personall messaged. just go on to csn email.
I hope your friend chooses to connect here and so glad she has a great BF in you. I was diagnosed the first time when I was 34 and am still here that was in 1994. My friend was diagnosed at 32 in 1992 and still here too.0 -
Thanks Beth! i just sent herBeth Guillory said:deAnna
Thank you so much.....You all have been so helpful!!!! OMG from the moment I got onto this site I could feel my jaw clenching,my mouth watering, and my eyes filling up with tears trying to fight from crying... You all have touched my heart more than yall will ever know, and I thank you for that!!
Heather, her name for facebook is DeAnna Duran and she is from mansfield La, lives in Sulphur la... I really really realllly thank you.... it may take her a while to get back with you... but i know that when she is "ready" she will..
thank you again -Beth
Thanks Beth! i just sent her a message on FB and a friend request. I saw Kid Rock on her page under her musical interests & knew already she's my kinda chick
What a great friend you are!
*hugs*
Heather0 -
your are great friend...
My long time best friend lives in Vt and I NY -when she found out I was having surgery she drove 6 hrs each way for the day to be with me..I"LL never forget that! Since she was far away phone calls helped a great deal.
Just be there if she wants to talk or she just wants to sit silently and say nothing...we each handle things so differently...
Denise0 -
Nothing better than LOVE
I was 36 at diagnosis of stage 3 with 11 out of 21 pos. nodes. The diagnosis was not devistating to me since I had been sick for years and just confirmed what I knew all along after finding both my lumps. First lump fibrous dx'd.
At the same time I was ill my best friends mother was ill as well but much worse than I and I moved to another province and finally got the my diagnosis but my friends mother went another 5 months before her's was found. She did not win her fight. My best friend has gone on to have her own cancer fights with skin cancer and early stages of breast. I think something like this gave us bonds we would never have had and we share everything because we have an understanding and you do too being through it with your family.
I always urger people to talk and some talk to professionals and others can talk to family and friends. I have always tried to be true to myself and show others my true self so hiding and denying is not a part of it.
There are all kinds of ways to get support that we need we just have to go out and find the place we find comfort in. I am sure your friend is just grateful your still there for her when in time there won't be that many...
Take care of each other,
Tara0 -
Private msgcarkris said:Beth just remember this is
Beth just remember this is open to all, so any personal info should be personall messaged. just go on to csn email.
I hope your friend chooses to connect here and so glad she has a great BF in you. I was diagnosed the first time when I was 34 and am still here that was in 1994. My friend was diagnosed at 32 in 1992 and still here too.
If we are sure they have made the connection perhaps we could ask Greta to take off the post with the personal information. It is hard to remember such things when dealing with difficult news.0 -
You are an amazing friend toMyTurnNow said:Send your friend here
This is an amazing group of sisters and some brothers, too. We definately get it and can help her through her journey, when she is ready of course. You are a wonderful friend and that is what will help her get through treatments.
You are an amazing friend to be thinking of getting support for your friend~ I wish I had a friend who was that devoted to me! This board is incredible! There is always someone to answer a question for you or just to listen to you vent! The knowledge-base is astronomical! These are some smart sisters! And they are pink also, so they are pink sisters, the best kind. If your friend makes it to this discussion board, have her look me up, and I will be happy to chat with her or just listen.
"May you be at Peace, May you be free of Suffering,"
Dianne0 -
Support . . .
What a wonderful friend you are . . . and, to me, that means more than anything. When I was going through surgeries & treatments last year, it was my closest friends who helped get me through (along with my wonderful husband & kids). I like this saying "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words". Last year, I forgot the words to the song in my heart, and it was my best friends who kept hope in my heart. Just be there for your friend . . . email her, send her cards, send her gifts . . . most importantly, simply keep reminding her how much you care! She is very lucky to have such a friend.
Praying for all the best for her . . .
♥ Lynn0 -
This would be a great siteBrooklynchele said:What a nice friend you are
Beth,
How wonderful that you care enough about your friend to try and find someone she can speak with. I was diagnosed last year at the age of 43. I've had 2 surgeries (lumpectomy and partial mastectomy) and am due to give my final decision regarding double mastectomy to my surgeon this coming April 7th. I suspect I will be holding off on the surgery for now. So in that respect, my situation is different than your friend since I have an option - at least for the time being.
I don't know what area you live in, but in my area finding a support group was not something that worked out for me. While there were groups available, they only met during the work day and I HAD to continue working through all of my treatment. Perhaps where you live, the situation is different or there are groups that meet at times convenient for your friend.
The path of treatment is similar between women and also different. Treatment depends on the type and grade of cancer and also the overall medical condition of the woman. And of course everyone responds differently to treatment. So it isn't always easy to draw a straight line between treatment and side effects. There is a wide range of "normal" when it comes to side effects. Some ladies have almost no side effects and some have many.
This site is a safe place to land for any woman that has to go through the nightmare of bc. Have your friend join to post questions as she has them. If she's not comfortable, then you should feel free to post questions for her.
I don't know if this has been helpful to you or not - but I hope it has! Best wishes to your friend and a big hug to you for being a great friend!
Michele
This would be a great site for your friend if and when she feels like coming. She might just want to read some of the posts for awhile, but, I would hope she would introduce herself then. We are a great group and will help her in whatever way we can.0 -
You are such a good friend!Beth Guillory said:deAnna
Thank you so much.....You all have been so helpful!!!! OMG from the moment I got onto this site I could feel my jaw clenching,my mouth watering, and my eyes filling up with tears trying to fight from crying... You all have touched my heart more than yall will ever know, and I thank you for that!!
Heather, her name for facebook is DeAnna Duran and she is from mansfield La, lives in Sulphur la... I really really realllly thank you.... it may take her a while to get back with you... but i know that when she is "ready" she will..
thank you again -Beth
You are such a good friend! Sending prayers for her.
Hugs, Leeza0
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