Positive framing language for breast cancer and mastectomy leads to shift in focus

dbhadra
dbhadra Member Posts: 344 Member
in Breast Cancer #1
OK, this may sound a little freaky and/or Polly-annish but my husband and I both came up these ideas independently this weekend so though it might be worth sharing.

He has been telling people "my wife has breast cancer". Suddenly, this weekend, he shifted to saying "my wife is undergoing treatment for breast cancer." He said it made him feel so much better since the focus then shifted from the CANCER (negative) to the TREATMENT (positive).

On the same day (Sat) I was talking to someone about my bilateral mastectomy coming up this summer.They asked me "is the cancer in both breasts?" and I said, "no, I'm CHOOSING to let both of my breasts go." Don;t know where that came from, it just came out of my both! I found the shift in language very empowering - I'm CHOOSING it and I'M "letting them go" - i.e. they are not being "taken away" from me or "removed" or "losing them."

Any other ideas for some positive reframing language?

Laura

Comments

  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #2
    Kris Carr said in her book
    Kris Carr said in her book not to capitalize cancer, capitalization gives it too much power. She even goes further and suggests misspelling canser. Hester Hill suggests referring to it as THE cancer, not MY cancer.

    I do think the language we use can change our own perspective, and the perspective of the person hearing the words.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #3
    Gabe N Abby Mom said:

    Kris Carr said in her book
    Kris Carr said in her book not to capitalize cancer, capitalization gives it too much power. She even goes further and suggests misspelling canser. Hester Hill suggests referring to it as THE cancer, not MY cancer.

    I do think the language we use can change our own perspective, and the perspective of the person hearing the words.

    Hugs,

    Linda

    I agree with that way of thinking, Laura
    Along the same lines of "I may have the cancer right now--but it doesn't have me."

    I love positive thinking and putting a different spin on things can change everything.

    Hugs, Renee
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691 Member
    #4
    I guess it is the glass half

    I guess it is the glass half full vs half empty. They say a positive attitude is meant to help with the prognosis. It got me reflecting on what is a positive attitude because I like to be real about any situation no matter heart breaking it may be. Then I heard someone (wish I could remember who) on the radio (KPFA) talking about positive attitude which he defined to be 'gratitude', being grateful for what you do have rather than focusing on what you don't have (back to the glass half full vs half empty).

    The moments I indulged in 'why me and why not her?' which admittedly was more curiousity than a lament but it also got me to realise that this can happen to anyone regardless just like a hurricane or an earthquake or a tsumani and for me, this whole journey through cancer treatment is just something I need to deal with in life. It is not good and it is not bad, it is just something I am dealing with.
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #5
    good point
    focus on good....stepping foward...
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    #6
    I totally agree
    My younger granddaughter (15 now, 13 when I was diagnosed) told me she hadn't worried when I was diagnosed. She said you came in and told me there was a tumor, they were taking it out then you'd be doing treatment and then you'd be fine. I never mentioned the initial call back for the second mammo, or the biopsy until I knew for sure what we were dealing with. Because I had answers for her and a positive plan for all of us to focus on, she felt confident that what I was telling her was the truth. Thank God, so far it is.

    I think being positive in whatever way works for you is key to getting thru all this cr*p.

    marge
  • hikerchick
    hikerchick Member Posts: 21
    #7
    I don't "have"...
    I feel that it's very important for me not to "own" or "internalize" cancer. I had a double mastectomy 2 months ago. I try to say things like, 'There was cancer in both breasts.' Cancer was removed from my body when my breasts were removed. Mostly, throughout this, I've been aware not to say "I have cancer." I was diagnosed with cancer, true. My breasts had cancer, and they're gone now. People have been amazed at my recovery.

    It's definitely worth approaching your recovery with positive framing! Because that's what it's all about: your recovery. It's not about empowering the disease.

    Best of luck to you! From my experience, it has gone extremely well. Remember, this too shall pass.

    Nancy
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #8
    hikerchick said:

    I don't "have"...
    I feel that it's very important for me not to "own" or "internalize" cancer. I had a double mastectomy 2 months ago. I try to say things like, 'There was cancer in both breasts.' Cancer was removed from my body when my breasts were removed. Mostly, throughout this, I've been aware not to say "I have cancer." I was diagnosed with cancer, true. My breasts had cancer, and they're gone now. People have been amazed at my recovery.

    It's definitely worth approaching your recovery with positive framing! Because that's what it's all about: your recovery. It's not about empowering the disease.

    Best of luck to you! From my experience, it has gone extremely well. Remember, this too shall pass.

    Nancy

    I also dont call "My" cancer
    I also dont call "My" cancer . I wont own it. its "the' cancer
  • Lampasas
    Lampasas Member Posts: 6
    #9
    Right on
    Laura, you are right on the money about positive thinking and speaking. I just learned that the cancer is in my right breast and I'm getting rid of it with a mastectomy. The first thing I tell people when they call to console me is "Wow, I'm so lucky this is 2011. I sure wouldn't want to be fighting this battle in 1929. What a fortunate gal I am." I'm keeping a list of positives and not worrying about the negatives. I know my battle won't be a bed of roses but boy it's going to be a lot better than it would have been any time in our past history.
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #10
    Lots to think about.
    I read this question early on and am glad that I did. I will probably pick up on some more subtleties as time goes by. I noticed that when posting that I have a diagnosis of bc, I tend to want to capitalize the initials. Then I decide no. Capitalizing those two letters gives the diagnois too much power. So there's the start to gaining power of this diagnosis. Hope to do a lot more of this.
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #11
    laughs_a_lot said:

    Lots to think about.
    I read this question early on and am glad that I did. I will probably pick up on some more subtleties as time goes by. I noticed that when posting that I have a diagnosis of bc, I tend to want to capitalize the initials. Then I decide no. Capitalizing those two letters gives the diagnois too much power. So there's the start to gaining power of this diagnosis. Hope to do a lot more of this.

    @laughs...
    GOOD one...too much power...
  • Jennifer1961
    Jennifer1961 Member Posts: 137
    #12
    I can see that. I ususally
    I can see that. I ususally say something like "I was diagnosed with breast cancer", "I was going through treatment", "I had cancer". Whatever makes us feel better.

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