Maybe time for just a religious forum?!
Comments
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Yesunknown said:This comment has been removed by the Moderator
I agree, graci. What I've enjoyed most about this particular board is the give and take, the ability to not only speak one's mind but to open one's mind to other views. The people who argue that there is no room for debate here, or that we should have another site for the 'religious', miss the point entirely, in my humble opinion.
The idea was to remove religion, in particular, from the cancer-related boards, as far as I can tell. From what I have heard, that particular mission has failed, proseltyzers being the rather insistent sorts that they are. But still, it has been a great success as far as I am concerned, mainly for the one distinction you make: Everyone had/has respect for each other.
Kudos to all (well, nearly all).
Take care,
Joe0 -
Yupsoccerfreaks said:Yes
I agree, graci. What I've enjoyed most about this particular board is the give and take, the ability to not only speak one's mind but to open one's mind to other views. The people who argue that there is no room for debate here, or that we should have another site for the 'religious', miss the point entirely, in my humble opinion.
The idea was to remove religion, in particular, from the cancer-related boards, as far as I can tell. From what I have heard, that particular mission has failed, proseltyzers being the rather insistent sorts that they are. But still, it has been a great success as far as I am concerned, mainly for the one distinction you make: Everyone had/has respect for each other.
Kudos to all (well, nearly all).
Take care,
Joe
The forum started out in a great way. It was a place for open discussion and prayer. I think part of the point of it's creation was to take the proseltyzers & preachers off of the specific cancer forums. Unfortunately, it seems that after a few months they found this forum and the same problems arose and will continue to until that kind of instigating behavior stops. That seems to be when people started to lose respect for one another.
I too think that the forum has been a success and can continue to be one.
-phil0 -
This comment has been removed by the ModeratorPhillieG said:Yup
The forum started out in a great way. It was a place for open discussion and prayer. I think part of the point of it's creation was to take the proseltyzers & preachers off of the specific cancer forums. Unfortunately, it seems that after a few months they found this forum and the same problems arose and will continue to until that kind of instigating behavior stops. That seems to be when people started to lose respect for one another.
I too think that the forum has been a success and can continue to be one.
-phil0 -
I Just Don't "Get" Some People
Just for the record, I am a Christian. BUT...I also like to think I am respectful of other peoples beliefs and certainly enjoy listening to others perspectives. That's what makes the world go round, ya know. Though I may disagree with others, I certainly would never attack them or berate them. That's not my way or God's way! I don't understand why people can't be respectful and tolerant of one another! It really, really bothers me. It's sad that a few "bad apples" always seem to find a way to spoil something positive for so many others. Ugh.....
Blessings to ALL,
Sally0 -
Flag this message[Chat] BANNED IN A CHAT LOBBY BECAUSE I SAID I
I was in the cancer chat lobby about 3 min. when some one said they prayed
for
someone. I said we all should pray. The lobby chief a soccer guy said
your cant say that its religious. And then banned me because I said we all
need faith.I have pancreatic cancer and I am doing well.I came to this site
to hear good things to bring and to get others opinions not to have a ****
throw me out for stating an opinion thats very common for a cancer
survivor. I cannot belive the cancer society would endorse this type of
behavior by this guy who thinks he owns the site. It sickens me to think a
person who cares is treated in this manor. I came to the site for a chance
to chat with other about real problems and ways to deal with them.0 -
Two posts, two threadscapejm2 said:Flag this message[Chat] BANNED IN A CHAT LOBBY BECAUSE I SAID I
I was in the cancer chat lobby about 3 min. when some one said they prayed
for
someone. I said we all should pray. The lobby chief a soccer guy said
your cant say that its religious. And then banned me because I said we all
need faith.I have pancreatic cancer and I am doing well.I came to this site
to hear good things to bring and to get others opinions not to have a ****
throw me out for stating an opinion thats very common for a cancer
survivor. I cannot belive the cancer society would endorse this type of
behavior by this guy who thinks he owns the site. It sickens me to think a
person who cares is treated in this manor. I came to the site for a chance
to chat with other about real problems and ways to deal with them.
And they are duplicates.
Just a side note, probably not a good idea to call a moderator or another user an "****"
So here is my response from the other thread:
You expressed an opinion that denigrated others, and at the same time told others what they "should" be doing, though I know that may be difficult for you to comprehend.
From the site Terms & Conditions:
No User shall use the Service to proselytize. The religious beliefs of all faiths are to be respected. The spiritual beliefs of all Members are to be respected regardless of whether they are in accordance with the beliefs of any religious group or teachings of other Members. No User shall disrespect or judge the beliefs or decisions of other Members on religious, spiritual, or other issues including but not limited to lifestyle, relationships, and medical care.
The interpretation of this is at the discretion of the boards moderators, not you and not me, but here is my understanding:
You may express that prayer has helped you
You may say that you will pray for another user
You may not post a prayer or a religious passage
You may not tell others that they should believe what you believe
Before you complain about freedom of speech, this is a private board, provided to us at no cost. The board has a right to set rules to ensure a civil discourse. You enjoy the use of the board at the discretion of its owners.
There is also no particular discrimination of Christians. If I came on and said we should all bow before Allah I too would be banned.
Now, share your story, seek solace in the story of others and provide wisdom where you can, but stay within the rules of the board.0 -
And now, for the rest of the story...capejm2 said:Flag this message[Chat] BANNED IN A CHAT LOBBY BECAUSE I SAID I
I was in the cancer chat lobby about 3 min. when some one said they prayed
for
someone. I said we all should pray. The lobby chief a soccer guy said
your cant say that its religious. And then banned me because I said we all
need faith.I have pancreatic cancer and I am doing well.I came to this site
to hear good things to bring and to get others opinions not to have a ****
throw me out for stating an opinion thats very common for a cancer
survivor. I cannot belive the cancer society would endorse this type of
behavior by this guy who thinks he owns the site. It sickens me to think a
person who cares is treated in this manor. I came to the site for a chance
to chat with other about real problems and ways to deal with them.
Interesting take on the event, there, cape (again).
What happened specifically was that you came in and without introduction began preaching, to the extent that OTHER users (not me) advised you to cool it, that you were offending them. And you left out the point where you said to me, "Oh, so you're the boss. I don't care", and continued on as you had been.
So, you were asked kindly by others to stop, were warned by me, indicated you didn't care, and were then kicked out for the session.
You returned immediately and began again as if you had learned nothing. This is when you were banned.
As buckwirth indicates, there are rules that you agree to when you sign on. In the opinion of others as well as myself, you were violating at least one of them to a great degree, and when you showed no regard for the feelings of others you were, I think, rightfully removed.
(As Buckwirth rightly points out, too, it is probably not a good idea to call a moderator or administrator an '****', nor, in fact, to advise that you 'don't care' and are going to do what you want anyway.)
CSN will examine the transcript, and if they find that I erred, I will be the first to apologize. If, on the other hand, they find that I acted in accordance with their standards, well, capejm2 is banned permanently from the ChatRoom.
Take care,
Joe0 -
2+2 = Joesoccerfreaks said:And now, for the rest of the story...
Interesting take on the event, there, cape (again).
What happened specifically was that you came in and without introduction began preaching, to the extent that OTHER users (not me) advised you to cool it, that you were offending them. And you left out the point where you said to me, "Oh, so you're the boss. I don't care", and continued on as you had been.
So, you were asked kindly by others to stop, were warned by me, indicated you didn't care, and were then kicked out for the session.
You returned immediately and began again as if you had learned nothing. This is when you were banned.
As buckwirth indicates, there are rules that you agree to when you sign on. In the opinion of others as well as myself, you were violating at least one of them to a great degree, and when you showed no regard for the feelings of others you were, I think, rightfully removed.
(As Buckwirth rightly points out, too, it is probably not a good idea to call a moderator or administrator an '****', nor, in fact, to advise that you 'don't care' and are going to do what you want anyway.)
CSN will examine the transcript, and if they find that I erred, I will be the first to apologize. If, on the other hand, they find that I acted in accordance with their standards, well, capejm2 is banned permanently from the ChatRoom.
Take care,
Joe
Joe,
Since I am no fan of chat, I had no idea he was referring to you. It has been quiet the last 24 hours, perhaps it will stay that way.0 -
LikewiseBuckwirth said:2+2 = Joe
Joe,
Since I am no fan of chat, I had no idea he was referring to you. It has been quiet the last 24 hours, perhaps it will stay that way.
Not a fan of chat, it's like a free-for-all. Probably since I can't type that fast.
;-)
I had posted a reply to all of this but it seems to have been pulled.
Nothing was said but the truth but that doesn't always fly.0 -
me tooBuckwirth said:2+2 = Joe
Joe,
Since I am no fan of chat, I had no idea he was referring to you. It has been quiet the last 24 hours, perhaps it will stay that way.
I don't like chat because it intimidates me and I can't type fast enough to keep up with the conversation. I'd like it better if I could see who was in there before I popped in.0 -
Seems oddPhillieG said:Likewise
Not a fan of chat, it's like a free-for-all. Probably since I can't type that fast.
;-)
I had posted a reply to all of this but it seems to have been pulled.
Nothing was said but the truth but that doesn't always fly.
I saw your reply last night. Seemed innocent enough to me, maybe you should send a note to Greta and see if it was a board glitch...0 -
It was not my intent toBuckwirth said:2+2 = Joe
Joe,
Since I am no fan of chat, I had no idea he was referring to you. It has been quiet the last 24 hours, perhaps it will stay that way.
It was not my intent to bring Chat Room issues into this board. Someone else did and I felt obligated to speak on my own behalf, even if I usually blow off such stuff.
FYI to all, I am not an administrator here, not a moderator here, except in the chat rooms, and why that is, I'm not really sure
. I advised in my blog that it was like putting the fox in charge of the henhouse in an attempt to make him a vegetarian, but I did it when asked largely to keep some soup kitchen nazi from getting involved and killing the joy for those of us who DO enjoy the chat room.
It is not fun, and that is another reason I decided to do it: Given the choice, I didn't want someone in there who was having fun. It should not be easy to make the kinds of decisions that boot people out of the joint, for a moment or forever.
I understand that cancer arouses great emotions, and I understand that cancer can make rocks religious. So I hope that I am very careful with how I handle all of that.
In any event, again, I did not intend or expect to see the runoff from that BS in here. I apologize for my part in it.
Take care,
Joe0 -
hmmmMarcia527 said:me too
I don't like chat because it intimidates me and I can't type fast enough to keep up with the conversation. I'd like it better if I could see who was in there before I popped in.
others have suggested that, marcia...i will pass it forward.
Take care, my friend,
Joe0 -
Marcia,Marcia527 said:me too
I don't like chat because it intimidates me and I can't type fast enough to keep up with the conversation. I'd like it better if I could see who was in there before I popped in.
I'm not a fan of chat either - can't keep up and after a while it all seems kind of pointless and gossipy. The few times I've been in the chat room I feel like I don't belong and I much prefer the forums =/0 -
You're ok, Joesoccerfreaks said:It was not my intent to
It was not my intent to bring Chat Room issues into this board. Someone else did and I felt obligated to speak on my own behalf, even if I usually blow off such stuff.
FYI to all, I am not an administrator here, not a moderator here, except in the chat rooms, and why that is, I'm not really sure. I advised in my blog that it was like putting the fox in charge of the henhouse in an attempt to make him a vegetarian, but I did it when asked largely to keep some soup kitchen nazi from getting involved and killing the joy for those of us who DO enjoy the chat room.
It is not fun, and that is another reason I decided to do it: Given the choice, I didn't want someone in there who was having fun. It should not be easy to make the kinds of decisions that boot people out of the joint, for a moment or forever.
I understand that cancer arouses great emotions, and I understand that cancer can make rocks religious. So I hope that I am very careful with how I handle all of that.
In any event, again, I did not intend or expect to see the runoff from that BS in here. I apologize for my part in it.
Take care,
Joe
Hey guy,
You're okay so I'm not sure what went on, but maybe it was just a misunderstanding, huh?
Sometimes people say things they don't mean cause they don't think. You've been on here a long time, and I enjoy your opinions. Maybe this person is just very sensitive so we should watch what we say & bite our tongue. Hang in there Joe!!! Carole0 -
Yikes3Mana said:You're ok, Joe
Hey guy,
You're okay so I'm not sure what went on, but maybe it was just a misunderstanding, huh?
Sometimes people say things they don't mean cause they don't think. You've been on here a long time, and I enjoy your opinions. Maybe this person is just very sensitive so we should watch what we say & bite our tongue. Hang in there Joe!!! Carole
Like Mana I wasn't in the room when this burst of religious chat popped into the chatroom that day/night but I have a couple of general comments, having read this board, that hopefully will shed a little light on a couple of things pertaining to this site.
First of all I want to say that the chatroom, for the sake of any newbies reading this topic, can be a fabulous help to many many people on the cancer journey whether they be caregivers or newly diagnosed patients or friends or family of those afflicted with this terrible disease. Many times when people search out a forum like this they are in desperate need of input and sometimes immediate one on one live chat is a Godsend. I don't know how many times I have seen newbies type 'oh I feel so much better knowing that there is a place I can come where people understand my feelings'(meaning this site and the chatroom itself in particular in this instance. Others have typed 'I feel so much better now, knowing the facts and listening to others who have been down this road', or words to that general affect. This is invaluable stuff so my point is (you knew I would get to it sooner or later, lol) is that this chatroom can be very very helpful so I really shiver when I see it put down as it has been in this topic. Yup, everyone has their opinion and likes and dislikes but to a newbie reading this how likely would you be to visit the chatroom now after reading some of the comments?
Of course there are times when the chatroom speaks of other things besides cancer and the risk of newbies coming in and seeing us talk about baking pies or other things unrelated to cancer can be great, you can't talk about cancer 24/7. The rule, unspoken most times though but understood by most, is that whenever someone enters the room the attention should shift to them. They should be welcomed and then asked if they are knew to the site and on the conversation should go from there seeking out the reason they came to the site/room. When I have been in there that is how it goes. That doesn't mean that other conversations previously in session before the new person came in can't continue but at least one person should stick with the newbie. In a perfect world that is what should happen, as far as I am concerned on a site like this.
I am just saying that if you don't like chatrooms then fine but please don't try to discourage others who are new from giving it a try, more than once, nothing is perfect, even the discussion boards. Like in any communicative situation you will get the occassional oddball comments, people are people, it happens.
The other point I wanted to raise is the question of this fellow who came in talking about prayer. Again, I was not there so am just commenting IN GENERAL about people and their faiths. I understand the sites rules completely but having said that I really feel that we should tred lightly when it comes to shooting someone down when they are so passionate about their faith because we just don't know - maybe that is all they have in life. Maybe it's the only single thing that is keeping them going. I am not talking about the situation in the chatroom at all because as I said I wasn't there, but we just have to work on being more sensitive to EVERYONE'S private beliefs and how they express them. Not everyone is as literate as the next person, each communicates in different ways but this particular guy sounds desperate to me, desperate to find help and while the moderator no doubt handled it in the best possible way I would expect I am just asking - was enough done to really make the person understand that there are rules and while we understand that faith is important to some you can't force it down people's throats? This guy, and possibly others, who come to this site for the first time then experience a ban for expressing themselves will not come back and is that what we want? Do we want someone in crisis who came here for help to be shunned when we have no idea of his current situation or need? I'm just sayin. I am not taking his side, I wasn't there, but suffice is to say that in this situation, while we are talking about this subject maybe, I felt, it was a time to check ourselves on the whole sensitivity and validation question. Don't shoot me, just offering up a GENERAL opinion or two.
People take criticism, or what they feel is criticism, in very different ways - especially when they are hurting as this man obviously was. Again I am just making a point about being gentle and understanding, not trying to second guess the moderator or anyone else involved in that one instance.
I just felt after reading all of the comments here that maybe I should fling in a little reminder about tolerance and to not put down venues on this site that could be very helpful to more people than not.
Thanks for reading my post.
Blessings,
Bluerose0 -
Put down?bluerose said:Yikes
Like Mana I wasn't in the room when this burst of religious chat popped into the chatroom that day/night but I have a couple of general comments, having read this board, that hopefully will shed a little light on a couple of things pertaining to this site.
First of all I want to say that the chatroom, for the sake of any newbies reading this topic, can be a fabulous help to many many people on the cancer journey whether they be caregivers or newly diagnosed patients or friends or family of those afflicted with this terrible disease. Many times when people search out a forum like this they are in desperate need of input and sometimes immediate one on one live chat is a Godsend. I don't know how many times I have seen newbies type 'oh I feel so much better knowing that there is a place I can come where people understand my feelings'(meaning this site and the chatroom itself in particular in this instance. Others have typed 'I feel so much better now, knowing the facts and listening to others who have been down this road', or words to that general affect. This is invaluable stuff so my point is (you knew I would get to it sooner or later, lol) is that this chatroom can be very very helpful so I really shiver when I see it put down as it has been in this topic. Yup, everyone has their opinion and likes and dislikes but to a newbie reading this how likely would you be to visit the chatroom now after reading some of the comments?
Of course there are times when the chatroom speaks of other things besides cancer and the risk of newbies coming in and seeing us talk about baking pies or other things unrelated to cancer can be great, you can't talk about cancer 24/7. The rule, unspoken most times though but understood by most, is that whenever someone enters the room the attention should shift to them. They should be welcomed and then asked if they are knew to the site and on the conversation should go from there seeking out the reason they came to the site/room. When I have been in there that is how it goes. That doesn't mean that other conversations previously in session before the new person came in can't continue but at least one person should stick with the newbie. In a perfect world that is what should happen, as far as I am concerned on a site like this.
I am just saying that if you don't like chatrooms then fine but please don't try to discourage others who are new from giving it a try, more than once, nothing is perfect, even the discussion boards. Like in any communicative situation you will get the occassional oddball comments, people are people, it happens.
The other point I wanted to raise is the question of this fellow who came in talking about prayer. Again, I was not there so am just commenting IN GENERAL about people and their faiths. I understand the sites rules completely but having said that I really feel that we should tred lightly when it comes to shooting someone down when they are so passionate about their faith because we just don't know - maybe that is all they have in life. Maybe it's the only single thing that is keeping them going. I am not talking about the situation in the chatroom at all because as I said I wasn't there, but we just have to work on being more sensitive to EVERYONE'S private beliefs and how they express them. Not everyone is as literate as the next person, each communicates in different ways but this particular guy sounds desperate to me, desperate to find help and while the moderator no doubt handled it in the best possible way I would expect I am just asking - was enough done to really make the person understand that there are rules and while we understand that faith is important to some you can't force it down people's throats? This guy, and possibly others, who come to this site for the first time then experience a ban for expressing themselves will not come back and is that what we want? Do we want someone in crisis who came here for help to be shunned when we have no idea of his current situation or need? I'm just sayin. I am not taking his side, I wasn't there, but suffice is to say that in this situation, while we are talking about this subject maybe, I felt, it was a time to check ourselves on the whole sensitivity and validation question. Don't shoot me, just offering up a GENERAL opinion or two.
People take criticism, or what they feel is criticism, in very different ways - especially when they are hurting as this man obviously was. Again I am just making a point about being gentle and understanding, not trying to second guess the moderator or anyone else involved in that one instance.
I just felt after reading all of the comments here that maybe I should fling in a little reminder about tolerance and to not put down venues on this site that could be very helpful to more people than not.
Thanks for reading my post.
Blessings,
Bluerose
To be clear, when I say I am no a fan of chat I am speaking of a personal preference about all chat rooms, nothing at all to do with CSN, and I stated it only to point out why I would have no idea that soccer guy was Joe. It also seemed that the others were voicing similar, general preferences as to why they do not partake of this service
My bet is if you were to do a straw poll in the chat room you would find that most of the participants are familiar with the format and use it in other venues.
Out of curiosity, how would you have handled Cape? Joe says he tried to explain, and just got hostility in response. I believe that my response was fair, and gave information that would prevent him from eventually being banned. I also think there there are probably issues there that could not be resolved in a chat room or on a discussion board, but I would like to hear how you would handle these kinds of posters.0 -
Were you talking to me?Buckwirth said:Put down?
To be clear, when I say I am no a fan of chat I am speaking of a personal preference about all chat rooms, nothing at all to do with CSN, and I stated it only to point out why I would have no idea that soccer guy was Joe. It also seemed that the others were voicing similar, general preferences as to why they do not partake of this service
My bet is if you were to do a straw poll in the chat room you would find that most of the participants are familiar with the format and use it in other venues.
Out of curiosity, how would you have handled Cape? Joe says he tried to explain, and just got hostility in response. I believe that my response was fair, and gave information that would prevent him from eventually being banned. I also think there there are probably issues there that could not be resolved in a chat room or on a discussion board, but I would like to hear how you would handle these kinds of posters.
I don't know what you meant by 'put down' but I was putting no one down and I was not speaking to you only about disliking chatrooms. I think I made it clear several times that this topic brought up GENERAL thoughts about the pros and cons of the chatroom on this site. I also thought I made it clear I was not in the room and I was not commenting solely on this one issue with this person who offended the room and was booted.
I don't 'put down' people if you have read my posts before or at least I hope I don't because those who know me know I wouldnt do that.
As far as what I would do with that specific scenario in chat, like I said several times in the post I did I was not there so I could not comment on how I would have handled it and it was probably handled correctly, again, it was just bringing to mind for me a comment I had IN GENERAL about doing all we can to help all kinds of people who come in with all kinds of attitudes and issues.
Bluerose0
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