Caring for my husband 💕

tlworkman72

Hello, Everyone. I am new to the site and I am hoping to find other people who are on a similar road as I am. My husband is 53, as am I, and was diagnosed with stage 2-b pancreatic cancer on October 20, 2025. He immediately began chemotherapy, 3 types of chemo as well as an external, portable chemo pump that was infused for 72 hours, when he'd return to the hospital for pump removal. He completely suffered through 4 rounds of this chemo treatment, once every other week. He absolutely had every possible side affect listed. He was so sick. The doctor then did another PET scan and another MRI to re-evaluate. The team met and determined that the head of the tumor was still too close to a major artery to his heart to move forward with the Wipple. We were absolutely devastated to hear that. After settling in with the news, the doctor said that the next step is more chemo, because the treatments did cause the tumor to shrink and the cancer has not metastisized. This time though, the doctor changed the type of chemo my husband would be getting. Hoping to reduce the severe reactions that my husband was experiencing. The doctor scheduled the new chemo treatments once a week for three weeks, then another round of scans and re-evaluate. Well, my husband had his first round of the new chemo without a chemo pump going home, (yay), this past Monday. He is doing so much better with this chemo. Thank God! It is so difficult to watch him suffer every day. It's actually a bit happier at home this past week. I've seen glimpses of my actual husband lately! So nice. My husband is the love of my life, and I will forever stay by his side, caring and loving him. But let me just say, he has not been making it very easy to keep that promise since we began this chapter. He knows that I am his soft place to land when life devastates us. I know he doesn't mean to take his fear, frustration, or anger out on me, but he does. I'm taking care of our home, all of our finances which now lack half of our usual income, shopping, all of his appointments and medication management, caring for him of course unconditionally, and all the while, teaching 6th grade full time. He is not able to be the loving, caring, compassionate husband he always is. Sometimes I feel alone and I thought reaching out here would help. So...there ya have it!

I genuinely hope who reads this is surrounded by people they love and feels how very special, important and loved they are, to more people than they know.

BattleStar

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/329922/caring-for-my-husband

Hello tlworkman72, I am sorry we missed you in the chat room, feel free to come back and try again. no one usually on before 9 pm CST.. time form on here is west coast time. 2 hours behind CST. I am sorry to hear about your situation.. no doubt its very tough being a care giver and also for the person who is sick. I have stage 4 metastatic with many tumors. the chemo definitely can make someone sick. went through it for 8 months and have to start on it again. its a hard situation for both of you. I pray for you the guidance, grace, mercy and understanding that only comes from God. no one is promised tomorrow nor with out tribulations. God knows your situation and I pray for the both of you strength and compassion. amen…

tlworkman72

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1725849#Comment_1725849

Good Morning, Battlestar! I hope you were able to rest last night. I smiled when I saw that you had responded. My goodness, you are really going through it. When were you diagnosed initially? I can't imagine that you're able to work. What part of this journey has been most difficult for you? Do you have a spouse helping you stay on top of things?

BattleStar

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1725849#Comment_1725849

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1725852#Comment_1725852

Good evening tlworkman72. glad to see you are hanging in. its been a little over a year ago since diagnosed. unfortunately by the time it was caught it had reached stage 4 with a number of tumors. fixing to have to start chemo again. initially I was able to still work but the cancer really started wearing me down. body just would not take the workload any longer. it was really difficult in the beginning. everything got turned upside down. had to adjust to a new way in life. it was not easy. between the cancer and treatment it consumes your life. becomes your new normal and your new full time job. in a couple of hours some of us will be in the chat room. you should stop by.. God bless