Bad mental health after surviving cancer

KatePaw87

In July 2024 I noticed a swollen lymph node… within 3 months I was stage 3 with ALK negative ALCL. This is a rare form of High grade, Tcell, non Hodgkin’s lymphoma. The VA has stated that they believe it’s possible I was exposed to something in Iraq while I was active duty Army. May 1st 2025 I had a stem cell transplant. June 28th 2025 my spouse of 8 years left me 3 days after we got home from said transplant. He has ghosted me since. 8 weeks later he posted his new girlfriend and is attempting to convince our adult daughter he did nothing wrong. August 16th 2025 my mom was in a rollover accident and is now quadriplegic. My most recent PET scan showed a Deauville score of 1. For the life of me I can’t figure out why or how I beat the 34% odds of living just to have my entire world crumble. I’m so lost. Honestly most days I wish I would have died from the cancer and or I’m suicidal. These thoughts just make me feel even worse because I have friends from the same deployment who are terminal from their cancers. I’m just really struggling and I don’t know how to pull myself out of this negative thinking.

po18guy

Extremely sorry to hear of all this. Do you have any sort of support system, world view or beliefs? Even back to childhood? Certainly, you can benefit from counseling and the sooner the better. Your life was spared for a valuable reason. You are stronger now than you were in 2024, having been tempered by fire, so to speak. Who can you talk to?

p.s. I am 10 years into a stem cell transplant for two T-Cell Lymphomas.