Caregiving experience

[Deleted User]

Just curious if anyone has experience kinda filling in the blanks after caregiving. I wouldn't give up the experience if I had the choice, but it was incredibly long and challenging. Non the less mom is a long term survivor now but I feel like parts of my journey are in best terms, ahead. Thanks!

Katarina138

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/329655/caregiving-experience

Hi! I have been going through the process with my mom (tripple-negative breast cancer) since June, and am now coming to terms that there is a long road ahead, but at least the prognosis is good, so we are trying to take it day by day. I am curious to know more about what you mean by "filling in the blanks after caregiving"?
Wishing all the best to you and your mom!

[Deleted User]

Glad you found the post Kat. First of all, Thanks- mom is pretty awesome. We were fortunate. Glad to hear about your mother's prognosis.

Essentially what I mean by filling in the gaps is twofold. First of all most of our family friends especially mine, even professional network following the five or so years treatment and recovery disappeared. It's like we are overly novel to them. We were warned. It's just sad. When we reach out for help it's like they never knew us. So be prepared, friends and dynamics in survival change. Coping us conglomerated as caregiving is often petal to the metal.

Where I live in Wildwood nj folks are either jealously distant -envious or highly supportive, there's no in between. Some folks are like near dangerously interested and the gap is like I'm a person not a caregiver only. Overall it's a wild ride. Overall people don't care.

Katarina138

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1724886#Comment_1724886

A wild ride indeed.. Thank you for sharing!

adellmarie

Hi, My husband is under treatment for Prostate cancer which is under control for now. Its only been 6 months since his diagnosis. I am having a hard time dealing with his emotional roller coaster now. I walk on eggshells sometimes because I don't want to upset him if I say the wrong thing. He is on Lupron which apparently causes mood swings (memopause). I had a long talk with him about being more positive since he is not terminal. He seemed to listen but if I go out with a friend for more than 4 hours (which is easy for me and her) he gets all hurt and upset. "How can I spend so much time with her and not him"??? which is crazy because we are both retired empty nesters!!!!! Weve been married over 45 yrs!! I have to admit I did have a brief affair a few months ago and we are dealing with that also. Its a lot I know, I am not telling this to be judged, he's told me he doesn't trust me whenever I go out now and I'm trying to make it up. I am trying to be here for him and supportive. I know you are all going to think how could I at this time in our lives, well it wasn't planned and it was super brief. It was a kiss and that was enough for him. I know I know. I am TRYING to be here for him but we have this 3rd wheel in the way because of me. I still have to deal with his emotional waves and I know its the meds. His doctor agreed with me about his feelings all over and said its the hormone shot. He is on another pill to help with the hormones but its not helping yet (been 2 weeks on it). I know its too soon for results, but I just need to talk to people who are in this situation like us. I am talking to a therapist myself about why we haven't had a real husband/wife relationship in so many years.

Sunny202

Wishing you healing and blessings. Praying with anointing with frankincense and myrhh oil. Peace be unto you.

Eskuna

praying for you and your husband.