My story

Longtermsurvivor 1

This story isn’t for pity—it’s for perspective. I wrote it for those who never got to speak, and for those trying to find the words. Survivorship doesn’t end with treatment—it echoes through every part of life. And this is how it sounded for me.

I want everybody to understand why I waited 60 years to come out hard with this problem, since I was being ostracized by the doctors who were treating me. No one truly wants to understand when you go deep into this problem, how much the water really gets. Some of the things that are said to you as a survivor wouldn't be said to a normal person We call it bad bedside manner. So think about it, when I was very young my father constantly lifted up my shirt exposing my scar, he was so very proud of himself that he got me through it I'll give him that much God bless him and my mom they deserve all the credit, let me tell you something I was constantly asked who my heroes were My first hero will always be my dad whether he was a good dad or a bad dad is out of the question. My mom was my other hero same thing goes. And those early days you can't imagine what I went through at such a young age, You would hear people questioning why is he still here my loved one is gone How is this fair, It leaves somebody who's gone through what I've gone through a war of living hell that you can't even begin to imagine, there's no help out there when I was going through it, No one called me not even my parents they told me they were going to treat me like a normal kid to get over it. Guess what, I am so happy they did, I know one thing my faith was a driving force in my life, It got me through some dark times. Now not answer the question why I waited so long, My dad made it very clear to me and he was right that people don't understand what I went through and they will see you as being crippled in some way, I have worked on my life I know that's a misnomer for a lot of people. My dad never let me feel sorry for myself he told me get up there grab yourself by your bootstraps and get going No one is going to help you in this world, hey check me out of the house at 18 which made me a man, I never look back always looking forward, I went through some rough time. Adhesions, which threw me in the hospital for a week when I was supposed to be in there for 6 weeks after surgery. The nurses kicked me out for bad behavior. The funny thing is people treat you differently I don't know what they send me, but my main objective is to help people. Everybody tells me that I have a giving heart, and when I'm really into something, they call me either a loose cannon is the village idiot. Every company I've ever worked for, I was considered a hard worker and did some amazing things that I want to discuss here. A lot of people will consider me a loner. No, you're not working a full-time job I did a lot of volunteer work that I'm known for. Fast forward to the time in my later life when the later effects that have been affecting me all my life that no one could fix, things that would sound like a freakish tale, and shock most people, couldn't believe what was happening. I was married at one point. My ex-wife and I had a son who was the inspiration in my life. We got divorced and went away I kept up with my son the best I knew how were a stranger now. Your wife does funny tricks on you. Now it comes to the time when you start thinking about how you're going to correct all the mistakes you made all your life and fix them for everybody, I have always fought childhood cancer trying to bring attention to it in a quiet manner, but it never seems to work. A short while ago in my light 40 I met a young lady we were dating I won't get into everything but she ended up coming home and have to sending me to the hospital because I was unresponsive, I personally don't know the story but I'm going to tell you what I heard, I had three wise people in my life, ones you have become my quiet heroes for what they had to endure, my girlfriend, my son, and my brother how to make a hellacious decision when they all got to the hospital one that I couldn't even imagine doing, they had to huddle there and decide whether I would live or die. The doctors had informed them that unfortunately I had a blood clot in my brain, that they're going to try to do whatever it took to get me through it, they all sat there and prayed, together as a team, they decided that they would do whatever it does to get me through it. I'm going to stop here with that part of the story and go on with the rest of it. I thought it was bad being a survivor of childhood cancer, being a survivor of that kind of mandatory is incredible if you have to go through what I've been through, you would find it incredible. I went back to work. I didn't have that many effects from the subdural hematoma. I don't know what happened I thought I was doing a great job at work, and I would eventually let go. It was a destructive time in my life I know that, not only did I have that going on I had two cancer scares going on I will not talk about that now. It was a terrible time to be unemployed It was Covit time, I remember going to the unemployment office, here's one the real good treatment comes in You're not considered a regular unemployed person You're considered handicap due to having a subdural hematoma and two cancer related issues. You get told you're getting special treatment, I have been working all my life I didn't need special treatment, I'm wanting to be going into how bad it was It was mentally exhausting being put through the crap that I went through Knowing what I did. People finding out about your medical problem and they won't even talk to you anymore because they're so afraid, they don't know how to handle a hot potato. I going and work a hey bunch of more years, finally get to retire early and worn out because of all the blood clots in my leg. That no one can seem to find the answer for. Nice to meet you the point where I can finally say something without being judged, are taking to the tool shed and beating are coming up with some outrageous thanks, staying stuff that makes people pull their hair out of their head, maple say things like I wonder what his mental problem is The things that he says are so wrong, not understanding the story that I've been through at this point I'm going to call it quit. Give this a little bit of a chance of sink in, understand that cancer survivors have different kinds of scars, mental scars, physical scars, scars from a limb of some sort, The financial scars and burns that last all their lives, The mental scars they're untold because of what they've been through and where they're going, I know I sound like I've had a marshmallow of a life to most of y'all.

bibliophile

Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate hearing your perspective.