Stage IVB endometrial adenocarcinoma.

FeliciaM5882
FeliciaM5882 CSN Member Posts: 2 Member
in Uterine/Endometrial Cancer #1

I was diagnosed with Stage 4B metastatic endocervical adenocarcinoma in January of this year, surgery/hysterectomy not an option. I have done 2 rounds (6) infusions of chemo. 25 external radiation treatments, and 3 HDR brachytherapy treatments. I'm 43 with 3 grown children and 2 grandchildren. I have hit the stage of post treatment depression and the irrational fear of dying. I can't talk to my children about it because I don't want to scare them. The hard part is the waiting game for me. I like to know how my body is responding to treatment. I don't have a PET scan scheduled until July 29th. My body aches all the time, my hips, feet, and shoulders don't like me lol. I have returned back to work, and I'm done with my patients saying "you don't look like you had chemo/radiation. Like I'm supposed to look half dead I guess. Im trying so hard to go back to normal, but I'm so tired. At the end of the day I'm EXHAUSTED. But I try to do things with family, mostly my grandbabies. Its hard to say no because Im so scared that I don't have many years left to make memories. How am I supposed to soak it all in when I feel like I have an unknown expiration date looming over my head?

Comments

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer CSN Member Posts: 3,585 Member
    edited June 9 #2

    Dear FeliciaM5882,

    It is overwhelming for sure, so what you are feeling is normal and exhausting. It makes sense to not want to share the dark secrets with the ones we love, and while this is a completely safe place, I would see if you can find someone via Employee Assistance, pastor, or truly trusted friend. I will say, it is easier to talk to strangers sometimes as I found a Patient Advocate who was on her 4th round of treatment. She GOT IT and I will always hold her dear.

    Chemo and radiation is not for the weak - it is doable - but it can kick you in the behind so please be gentle to yourself.

    Hugs dear one. Reach out if you need an ear.

    NoTime

  • FeliciaM5882
    FeliciaM5882 CSN Member Posts: 2 Member
    #3
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1723114#Comment_1723114

    My children know of my cancer, they don't know of my depression I hide it very well. I just don't want to talk to them about my cancer and then cause them depression as well. If that makes sense. Thank you for reaching out.

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer CSN Member Posts: 3,585 Member
    #4
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1723125#Comment_1723125

    Yep. Makes complete sense. Please consider reaching out as you can get something to help take the edge off. I wish I had because it is hard. Even the gyn onc's office should be able help here.

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