Stage IVB endometrial adenocarcinoma.

FeliciaM5882

I was diagnosed with Stage 4B metastatic endocervical adenocarcinoma in January of this year, surgery/hysterectomy not an option. I have done 2 rounds (6) infusions of chemo. 25 external radiation treatments, and 3 HDR brachytherapy treatments. I'm 43 with 3 grown children and 2 grandchildren. I have hit the stage of post treatment depression and the irrational fear of dying. I can't talk to my children about it because I don't want to scare them. The hard part is the waiting game for me. I like to know how my body is responding to treatment. I don't have a PET scan scheduled until July 29th. My body aches all the time, my hips, feet, and shoulders don't like me lol. I have returned back to work, and I'm done with my patients saying "you don't look like you had chemo/radiation. Like I'm supposed to look half dead I guess. Im trying so hard to go back to normal, but I'm so tired. At the end of the day I'm EXHAUSTED. But I try to do things with family, mostly my grandbabies. Its hard to say no because Im so scared that I don't have many years left to make memories. How am I supposed to soak it all in when I feel like I have an unknown expiration date looming over my head?