I want to quit treatments

klarsen316a

I am struggling! I am teetering on if I should quit my treatments and get the only kidney I have removed and go on dialysis. The treatments seem to be killing me faster than the cancer. I can’t eat because my mouth is very sore. I have no appetite and when I do have an urge to eat, I’m in pain. I struggle with getting enough water in me to stay hydrated too. Also, the constant diarrhea isn’t helping that. I know dialysis will not be easy either, but maybe I can get relief in my mouth so I can enjoy food again. My doctors know the struggles I’m having and try to offer help, but so far nothing has changed, other than new problems that arise. I’m just tired of not enjoying any part of my life right now. I’ve been dealing with this since July of 2024. I’m on anti anxiety meds, antidepressants, Imodium, keytruda, Lenvima, and anti nausea meds (I throw up a lot). I’m just plain old tired of all these side effects.

SheriC

I just wanted to let you know how much I hate that you are having to go through all of this. I just came to the message board because my husband is facing a possible diagnosis of kidney cancer (we will know for sure in the next few days), and I happened upon your post. I have no advice to offer you, since I am a newbie to this type of cancer (unfortunately not others!), but I can see how exhausted and confused you are, and I hope you get some relief soon. I hope others with more experience will give you some good advice and encouragement. I will be thinking about you and hoping that things get easier for you.

donna_lee

I hardly know what to say, other than a sincere "I am so sorry it has come to this point."

Have you consulted any provider about tube feeding to obtain the fluids and nutrition while taking the drugs? I know that is not pleasant, but the step you are looking at is not pleasant either. Would there be a chance for a transplant if you go on dialsys?

Do the old "column of choices" lists. Pros and cons (thoroughly explored) or every option before you make any decision in haste. And try not to second guess the emotional and family support side of things.

Love and best wishes.

donna_lee

klarsen316a

Thanks for your comment. I went to a LONG day doctor appointment at City of Hope yesterday (they are my providers and team). It started at 6:45 am check in, then off to get my port access and bloodwork done, then I went for my scans and they couldn’t do them with contrast this time because my bloodwork came back with low kidney function. Then we had some down time where my sister and I went to the cafeteria for breakfast. I of course had trouble eating. I did get some watermelon and was able to eat it and keep it in. Then off to see the nurse practitioner about my bloodwork. Well, they are holding treatments and my oral meds, because my kidney function was low and my hemoglobin is high. He said in place of the Keytruda treatment they were going to give me fluids. Then I saw my psychiatrist and nothing new happened there. I did explain that I am thinking about quitting treatment completely, and she was worried that I wanted to die. I said no, I need relief and to be able to eat again. So she understands where I’m at…. So then off to get the fluids. It was 3:30 pm at this point and I figured an hour and home, but to my surprise they said I’d be there for 4 hours getting fluids! So I guess my body was severely dehydrated. I got through it. I do have to go back next week for repeat bloodwork and see the nephrologist to see if there is any improvement in the kidney function. I also got the scan information back and my tumor shrunk more from 84mm to 73mm. That gives me hope again! For a long time there was no change to it and I felt like I was doing treatments for no reason, however I feel that as I started giving up yesterday, the good news came through and helped me to want to fight harder and continue moving forward with everything. I’m not out of the woods by no means, but I am hopeful that they can get me regulated and I can continue on.