The little stuff (hints and tips): life after surgery

KittySlayer

How about sharing practical tips for post surgery life. Look forward to reading everyone’s tips.

Here is what is working for me 8 weeks out dealing with incontinence. Doing my Kegels and pretty happy with my progress but I occasionally leak or have a small squirt of urine when I cough, sneeze, laugh, stand up, bend down, or other random times. Now I know what old women deal with.

Men’s Guards: been using CVS pads to capture small leaks. Usually one in the morning and one at night. Work well and only had one time my underwear got damp overnight, probably from position of my penis. Carry an extra pad when out and about just in case.

Men’s Shields: hope to graduate to these thinner pads soon as I gain better control.

Duluth Buck Naked Boxer Briefs: fit me well and keeps pads in place. Watch for sales on hideously ugly patterns.

Diaper Rash Ointment: not all the time but sometime I get discomfort on the head of my penis from rubbing against the fabric of the pads. Using Boudreaux’s ButtPaste because the name makes me smile (not laugh and leak).

Black Pants: been wearing black pants in case I have a leak escape my pad. Not an issue yet but gives me peace of mind that I won’t be out in public with a giant visible wet spot.

Restrooms: whenever entering a building I scope out the location of the restrooms in case I have an urgent need. I have all the public restrooms mapped out on my walking courses just in case. I miss the hiking trails where I could pee wherever I wanted.

Cycling???: hope to start road bicycling soon. Any hints or concerns I should be aware of???

Marlon

Great topic. I didn't find a lot of info on managing life post-surgery, so this discussion could be useful to many. Those are all good points mentioned. I am 8 months post surgery, and still have some leakage issue. I am not sure I'll ever have the confidence to go about without pads or shields. There is some practice needed too figure out how to position them properly. Managing evening fluid intake to avoid frequent night time trips to the toilet has been my weakness. If I'm not sure, I'll wear a depends at night.

I was concerned that wearing pads would be an issue at airport security, but so far, it's not been flagged. I do have to plan for what supplies to take on trips, and scout locations to get more near the hotel I'll be at. There is an app called Flush that is supposed to identify nearest restrooms wherever you are, but I haven't used it yet.

I am going to try biking when It gets warmer, but my doc said it should not be an issue. I did get one of those seats that avoid pressure on your crotch area.

Clevelandguy

Hi,

I am approximately 10 yrs post surgery, I think I have plateaued. I still drip an occasional drip or two when I bend a certain way or walk for long distances. I wear a Depends light pad which keeps me dry about 99% of the time. If I will be on my feet for like 8 hrs I switch to a Depends maxi pad just to be on the safe side. I found that if I bought my tightly whitys one waist size larger it gave me room for my member to expand and not act like a frightened turtle. Makes it much easier to pee at a wall urinal, you have something to grab onto. I use Lume body deodorant in my groin area to reduce odors. Still do about 150 Kegals a day before I get out of bed in the morning. I am completely dry sitting and at night. I try not to drink fluids after say 6pm which I think helps keep me dry at night. Like you guys I always keep an extra pad or two in the car just in case, pack accordingly on vacations. I do take courtesy pees before going to the store or mid trip if I am outrunning errands, trying to keep the volume down to avoid accidents. I try not to let the “drip” slow me down any, doing what I want to do.

Dave 3+4

Steve1961

I am different story since I had salvage surgery.. I was warned that incontinence could be much greater and it is. I must admit, though I kind of gave up on Keagle‘s I mean I probably should keep doing it, but I think it is what it is. I go through about 2 to 3 pads a day and they’re pretty soaked, so what I am used to doing now I put on a depends underwear and then I put the pad inside of that and then I put my underwear over it. I’m used to it now. I don’t see it getting any better. I just hope it doesn’t get any worse I might do the keagles for three months straight I don’t think they’re gonna do much good but on the flipside I didn’t lose any length and I still get an erection almost as hard as before so that’s a trade-off I guess lol

Old Salt

In addition to doing Kegels, pelvic floor exercises are often recommended for overcoming incontinence. Best to see a physical therapist about all this.

KittySlayer

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1721835#Comment_1721835

Kegels: Saw a Physical Therapist(PT) for the second time last week and she reviewed the Kegel and pelvic exercises I should be doing. Using an ultrasound she was able to show me on screen when I was doing the exercises correctly. She reminded me these are small muscles so don’t work so hard, breath, and avoid engaging the abdominal muscles. I have found that by putting my fingers on the area I am able to focus on doing the exercises correctly. Daily doing the Turtle and Squirrel (nuts to guts).

Breathing: My PT also recommended that I exhale before standing, bending over, lifting, and all those other movements where I would sometimes leak. Exhaling raises the diaphragm and relieves some of the pressure on the bladder.

Penis Pump: My PT also recommended using a penis pump to encourage blood flow for healing and maybe getting erections again. The “medical” grade pumps on the hospitals recommended list were $250-$300. I went to the local Adult Sex store and found a half dozen models less than $50. Some were better made than others so shopping online might have you end up with a cheaply made one.

Embarrassment: As an old man (62) it was a little embarrassing discussing topics with young women (30’s) and trying not to be a creepy old man. Don’t be embarrassed, simply discuss your needs and questions with your medical professionals. My PT was very knowledgeable and was able to answer my questions and address my frustrations. Even at the sex store the female clerk who offered to help put me at ease. I explained the purpose for buying a pump and she was able to help me make a selection, it felt no different than shopping at the pharmacy. Finally, based on the size and selections in the incontinence aisle there are plenty of people with the same issues so don’t fret over buying pads.

Khaffey

I'm 65 yrs old, 8 weeks post surgery and incontinence is minimal. Around the house I don't use a shield. I use a light shield when I go out and at night. My night time issue is probably from drinking too close to bedtime. I have been taking 5mg cialis daily since surgery. My doctor just added a 20mg every 3 days in addition to the 5. Still waiting for an erection, but sometimes during the night I do feel some arousal, but nothing significant. Starting to use a penis pump for additional therapy. I'm optimistic.

LuckyKYGuy

I'm five months post op and am down to one pad per day and one at night.

One thing I tried early on when I was still wearing the full Depends briefs and had to travel: I would slide a pad in with the Depends brief as well….that way I was able to just change the pad in airport restrooms or gas station restrooms vs having to put on entirely new briefs. Just didn't use the sticky side to adhere to the Depends brief. It just made travel that much easier.

I, too, have worn black pants or very dark jeans at times especially if I knew I was going to be out having drinks or something. A few times I've had minor leakage but the dark fabric definitely hides it.

The other thing that I learned is the Dura Cleanse Body Wipes For Men that you can get on Amazon are hands down the best wipes. They are 9"x12" and are very wet and have no scent to speak of. They are great for "freshening up" when changing a pull up or pad. When you order the pack of 50 on Amazon they come with 5 travel ones attached which are perfect for days you have to travel.

I was about to change to the liners instead of pads but then had a round with the flu that set me back about a month ago so I'm just now getting to the point I'm ready to see how the liners work.

One other thing…you're probably going to notice your penis is smaller and in some cases (like mine) the head is surrounded by a bunch of skin which is a result of the urethra being sutured together where the Prostate was removed. Just remember to pull the skin back every time you pee (whether standing or sitting) because if you don't you're gonna pee all over the place.

LuckyKYGuy

another tip I just remembered: When you are battling thru the incontinence somewhere around week 3 or so, other than using the wipes I mentioned above it’s also helpful to keep pubic hair trimmed short or shaved as it helps with not trapping the urine odor that can be very strong depending on how long you are able to go without changing a Depends brief or pad

Marlon

Good tips. I'll add that I slept for a few weeks with an absorbent pad under me on the bed. Until I was confident I didnt need it.

JackWest

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1722164#Comment_1722164

Hello Marlon, good to hear. How many weeks for you did it take? Is that all?

Marlon

JackWest, It was about two months after surgery, before I was completely dry at night. I used the mattress protection for another month after that. Again, that was for confidence. At that point, I was mostly dry during the day too, but had the occasional drips. I did physical therapy to help. So now, I still wear pads or shields after 9 months, again, mostly for confidence. I do not want to have even the tiniest wet spot show up on my pants. I still feel an occasional drip coming when I make a sudden movement, but not often.

No, not all. But mine was surgery. I get from reading here that with radiation treatment, the side effects can get worse with time before they get better. Maybe someone can confirm.

JackWest

Marlon and all,

Thank you, as this is all so helpful. My doctors and staff do not provide this, and in any form. All of your real world situations shared here are helpful, in so many ways. Unfortunately the medical professionals do not see this as essential. It is hard for me keep dry, the reality is that it is now a way of life. Keep your thoughts live here. Thank you all!