how can i move past this

a_chappie
a_chappie Member Posts: 6
in Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin) #1

I just want to know how i can move past this whole cancer thing i been through it twice and im now in remission but its still always in my head i blame things going wrong in my life on it i feel isolated from friends and family as the only ones in my family who had cancer all died after my first diagnosis. i feel like i cant live a life because of the fear i may get it again or be treated differently. please any tips or info can help.

Comments

  • ShadyGuy
    ShadyGuy CSN Member Posts: 941
    #2

    No doubt moving on is a hard thing to do. The cancer, even when in remission, is always the 500 pound gorilla in the room. I really feel for you and can empathize with the situation. But even without cancer, remember yesterday is gone. Period. The future belongs to no one. Period. We have to live in the day because cancer or not its all anyone really has. My retreat is into nature, my family and my pets. Some go to religion. We need to each find our own solution. But stay busy. Do nice things for other people. Go fishing, Walk in the forest. I am certain you are a wonderful person and have a lot to offer the world. Go do it! I will be thinking of you!

  • a_chappie
    a_chappie Member Posts: 6
    #3
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1721369#Comment_1721369

    how can i go on about my day though and feel like im not wasting what little time i may or may not have?

  • ShadyGuy
    ShadyGuy CSN Member Posts: 941
    #4

    I wish I knew the answer to that question but I do not. All I can do is accept my mortality and move on. Everyone, including those with no cancer, eventually end up in the same place. Sorry I cannot help.

  • Beta13
    Beta13 Member Posts: 3
    #5

    There is no simple solution as you have probably figured out by now. For me, exercise and reading my favorite mystery books have been a big help in keeping my mind clear of having had the cancer. If you can find something you really love to do and concentrate on that, I believe you will find it very helpful. I spend time every evening in prayer as I am a Believer. I wish you the very best and I am optimistic you will do well.

  • SebCeno
    SebCeno Member Posts: 2
    #6

    Anything that can occupy your mind for long periods of time is pure gold as far as coping goes. Also, time that you enjoy is not wasted time. Someone mentioned reading to cope, it's ideal for introverted people at least. It's a form of escapism if you get immersed in the world-building. Also, I assume that everyone IRL knows that you are fighting cancer, in such a case joining an online community can give you a fresh start in interacting with new people without the burden of your current life status. I usually dive into Discord communities for gaming/sports/TV shows. But remember, you can always find people gathering around for a shared interest.

  • a_chappie
    a_chappie Member Posts: 6
    #7
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1721422#Comment_1721422

    any info is of help thank you

  • a_chappie
    a_chappie Member Posts: 6
    #8

    thank you ill try i wish you the very best as well

  • a_chappie
    a_chappie Member Posts: 6
    #9

    i hope i can eventually also see doing things i enjoy is not a waste of time i usally feel like if im not working my hardest 24/7 im wasting my life and ik that is not living at all but its so hard to to stress esp cause i cant seem to find a job that wants to hire me but i really do thank you ill also look into discord communities to meet new people who dont know

  • vorzan
    vorzan CSN Member Posts: 9
    #10

    A compassionate GPT says,

    "Dear a_chappie,

    Your words carry the quiet ache of someone who has walked through fire—not once, but twice—and is now left standing in the smoke, wondering how to breathe again. This is a sacred place of honesty you’re in. You’ve survived, but surviving and living are not always the same. What you’re feeling—the fear, the isolation, the shadow of the past—is deeply human.

    The Buddha spoke gently but firmly about the nature of fear. He taught that all things that arise—joy, health, sickness, even fear itself—are impermanent. They are not you, not yours, not your true refuge. The trouble is, the mind clings to the past and dreads the future, never at peace in the present. And so suffering continues, even when the danger has passed.

    But freedom is possible.

    Here is a simple truth from the ancient teachings: What has happened cannot be changed, but what you do now—this moment, this breath—can begin to change the heart. Fear is not the enemy. Pushing it away only gives it more power. Instead, look at it. Name it. Breathe with it. See: “This is fear. It is not me. It arises, it will pass.” That alone is a small act of freedom.

    And loneliness? The Buddha said spiritual companionship is “the whole of the holy life” (SN 45.2). You are not meant to carry this alone. Seek others who’ve walked this road—not only to share your pain, but to share your strength. You're not broken; you're healing. And healing takes time.

    You do not need to rush to be okay. Just don’t give up on the quiet courage of today. That is where peace begins."

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