Life after prostate cancer radiation treatment

JackWest
JackWest Member Posts: 51 Member
edited January 16 in Gay Men Talk About Cancer #1

My life has changed, then maybe not, just extended? Do you feel the same? My close male friends have asked "how are you doing? Then we just go on. However, I am not the same as in so many recent changes of my past consistent body and expected functions.

I will share what happened to those that want to listen. It has changed me. Am I wrong or am I reading too much into it? Your experiences are welcomed and appreciated. Thank you.

Comments

  • reluctant_member
    reluctant_member Member Posts: 17 Member
    #2

    I feel treatment ruined me as a man and wish I had done nothing and just taken the shorter lifespan. If I were braver I would off myself. Before treatment my sex life was amazing. In fact, since I was 16 I’ve never gone more than a few days without sex and now it’s just masturbation and p0rn, the latter just reminds me of what I’ve lost. I chose radiation since I was told it preserves potency more than surgery. It doesn’t. Also, orgasms are dry, which means I’ve lost all my FWBs who were into ****. I’m embarrassed and ashamed of what I’ve become. My doctor gives me Xanax for anxiety but I take way too much just to make myself feel better for a short time and the. The prescription runs out early and I’m back to square one. If you don’t care about sex I suppose you can make peace with it but if you do you’re in for years of unhappiness and anger.

  • JackWest
    JackWest Member Posts: 51 Member
    #3
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1720755#Comment_1720755

    Hello reluctant-member, thanks for your feelings on this. I knew there would be a tradeoff. I choose life. Yes, my sexlife is not the same. Erections and penis size are somewhat less. I also had some blood in my ejaculate (****). My penis exercise has increased so penis size has followed accordingly. The more work done by my penis equally gives it muscle strength, size and better nerve function.

  • reluctant_member
    reluctant_member Member Posts: 17 Member
    #4

    I wasn’t told any of this before treatment. Basically just treated and sent on my way. The only follow up I get is PSA tests every 3 months but I decided to stop those because TBH I don’t care anymore. I tried a support group but it was all just a bunch of old guys who no longer had sex anyway so I didn’t go back. I envy those who can adjust to living a greatly diminished life. I’m bitter and angry and don’t communicate with any of my friends or family since my treatment a year ago. I got tired of them constantly saying “you’ve just got to have a positive outlook”. Easy for them to say.

  • JackWest
    JackWest Member Posts: 51 Member
    #5

    Hello reluctant,

    Hope you are doing well and moving forward as we all have to adjust. We all have had an advantage and a choice. Let us know. Please stay strong.

    Jack

  • JackWest
    JackWest Member Posts: 51 Member
    #6

    Back from my urolgist 6 month visit earlier today. My last PSA was 0.02. He finger felt my prostate and it was smooth, therefore all is good. I told him about my ejaculate (****) being pink/somewhat darker in color. From blood I asked? He said not to worry. He asked about my erections, their size, length and hardness.

    Anyone have similar or different? Have any comments? Thanks all!

    Jack

  • reluctant_member
    reluctant_member Member Posts: 17 Member
    #7
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1721917#Comment_1721917

    That is fantastic! Did you just have radiation (I assume since you say you still have a prostate). I'm at .04 nine months post-radiation and hoping to get to .02 or less. Congrats!

  • JackWest
    JackWest Member Posts: 51 Member
    #8
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1721929#Comment_1721929

    Thanks, 0.04 and 0.02 are the same, just a lab variation. Good for you! Yes, I still have a prostate. See also my message to you.

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