Lost for words

Rox66

Hello - I just learned my 83 mother has cancer in her lungs and lymph nodes. She has a PET scan on 16 Dec to see if it has spread in other places. We are praying it hasn’t. On top of this news she also had a heart attack in Feb 2024 and has been struggling to recover. She is weak and with this treatment I know she will become weaker. She is five hours from me and lives in the country by herself. I am trying to balance my job and figure out what I should do. I am so lost .. I don’t know where to start to look for support for both of us.

eDivebuddy

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis and her recent challenges. It’s clear you’re navigating a lot, and it’s okay to feel lost—this is a heavy burden, but you’re taking the right steps to seek support.

Does she have help around the house and with transportation to and from appointments? The American Cancer Society has a program called Road to Recovery. It’s a volunteer network of drivers that can assist with transportation. Availability can be limited, especially in rural areas, but it’s definitely worth exploring:

1 (800) 227-2345

https://www.cancer.org/support-programs-and-services/road-to-recovery.html

There's also a group called Cleaning for a Reason they help cancer patient with house cleaning.

https://cleaningforareason.org/patients/

You might also reach out to the cancer center where she’s being treated. Patient navigators or advocates can help coordinate care and connect your family with local resources.

For older patients, especially those who are frail or have additional health concerns like heart disease, cancer treatments are often adjusted to minimize strain. Oncologists consider lower doses of chemotherapy, targeted therapies, or even immunotherapy, which can be less taxing on the body compared to traditional treatments. These options aim to balance effectiveness with maintaining quality of life.

Palliative care is also an important part of the treatment journey. It’s not just about end-of-life care—it focuses on managing symptoms and improving comfort at any stage of treatment.

Cancer care has come a long way. Targeted therapies and immunotherapies are providing better outcomes with fewer side effects for many patients. Additionally, advancements in supportive care mean side effects like nausea, fatigue, and loss of appetite can often be better managed. Be sure to discuss these options with her care team to ensure she has access to the latest interventions.

Lastly, consider reaching out to a social worker at the cancer center. They can guide you in setting up a support system for your mother, including home care, meal delivery, or even technology solutions to help her stay connected and safe while living alone.