SCC of the tongue.Almost finished with radiation.

Michael_IN

Hello. This is my first time reaching out. I am 54 and was diagnosed with SCC of the tongue in mid August of this year. On September 9th, I had the pleasure of enduring a 12 hour surgery to remove about half of the left side of my tongue, removal of 34 lymph nodes, and reconstruction with a flap twice (first did not have good blood flow).

My surgeon said that 100% of the cancer was removed with clean margins all the way around and all lymph nodes that were removed were clear. I don’t know the staging and I don’t care to. I was then told I needed 30 rounds of radiation for 10 minutes a day and no chemotherapy. I had a g tube put in and was fed that way for a month after surgery. Once I got home I was told to eat and drink everything I could. I did, and had some taste from the part of my tongue that was left. I thought I had gotten lucky!

Three weeks later I started radiation. Four weeks in I started getting sores (only irritation no pain) and then lost all taste. I have 8 days to go. I stopped trying to eat by mouth a week ago. Swallowing is not a problem. Everything tastes revolting so I had to fall back on that damn g tube. I was crushed. I will say that what I have read in the forums is not encouraging to me. Cooking and eating was the greatest joy of my life.

Next week is Thanksgiving. It will be the first time in 20 years I have not cooked. I am planning on not eating this meal. I just can’t do it, no matter how badly I want to.

I have a gas grill, a flat top griddle, and a Big Green Egg with all of the toys. So yes, I used to cook, entertain, and eat a lot. Now, as I read what others post, I can’t help but believe that I will never cook again. If I don’t get any taste back, what’s the point?

Oh yeah, then we have Xmas coming up, so I have that to look forward to as well. Everyone says I will survive the cancer, but I don’t know what I will do if the greatest source of joy in my life is gone. I cooked for my wife and our families all the time. Sadly I think those days are gone. I don’t know what I will do, and sorry but positive vibes aren’t going to bake this better.

Any ideas, other than rely on other people for the rest of my life?