Guilt

celes99

Hello, my fiance was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. Not sure what exact stage yet but at least a T4 N3 disease, which honestly I am not even sure what that means. I will be the main person taking care of him, if he is able to leave the hospital at some point. Currently he is received radiation to hopefully shrink a 10cm mass in between his lungs. I am so overwhelmed and am trying to be strong for him, but when I am not around him I am a total disaster. I could really use some words of encouragement and advice. I am also harboring a lot of guilt because I am a smoker, he was not a cigarette smoker (he smoked cigars but didn't inhale). I didn't smoke in the house but in the garage which I thought would be okay because it doesn't share ventilation with the house but surely some smoke would get inside from opening the door. I should be the one sick not him.