Angry partner

she19

I have been diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time. The first time I was told it will never come back but here I am 12 years later just had a double mastectomy at the time I had cancer on the left side and the right was being removed prophylactically. Come to find out the right has cancer too, was told it was very small and not worry-some to the oncologist.

My husband has been taking care of my every need. I am five weeks in since surgery and seeing the oncologist next week. He has been great and supportive until recently where he suddenly says that I’m putting too much pressure on him to leave the house to do something. We’ve always had a great relationship. I don’t understand it’s like he’s angry at me for being sick ..,,,,he’s changed my wound, but he gets angry over stupid things, I understand that he is going through a lot too, but if anyone’s under pressure, it’s me how do I get him to turn around and not be so angry. The other day I just asked him to take a walk with me as I don’t feel ready to go alone and he totally freaked out. I think he needs counseling but he would never agree. I need support….not anger. Any advice?

angelofdeath02

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/328351/angry-partner

I am so sorry that you’re going through this. I think that’s my worst fear if I had to go through this again. Maybe your husband is not angry at you per se but maybe the situation. My husband doesn’t get mad but I don’t think he understands what we as women are going through. If you ever need someone to talk to I am always here

LIYAH

she19,

I'm so sorry to hear about your breast cancer diagnosis and the challenges you're facing, especially with your husband's recent behavior. Understandably, you're feeling confused, hurt, and in need of support.

Firstly, please know that you're not alone in this. Many caregivers, including spouses, can feel overwhelmed and struggle to cope with the emotional demands of supporting a loved one with cancer.

Here are some suggestions that may help:
Open Communication: Try to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about how his behavior is affecting you. Use "I" statements to express your feelings and avoid blaming or accusing language.

Acknowledge His Feelings: Let your husband know that you understand he's going through a lot too and that his feelings are valid. Encourage him to express his emotions and concerns.

Encourage Self-Care: Suggest that your husband take breaks, engage in activities he enjoys, and practice self-care. This can help reduce his stress and anxiety levels.

Seek Support for Him: Look into support groups or counseling services specifically designed for caregivers. Even if he's hesitant, having resources available can be beneficial.

Reassure Him: Let your husband know that you appreciate his support and that you're in this together. Reassure him that you'll get through this as a team.

Take Care of Yourself: Remember to prioritize your own physical and emotional well-being. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups for help when needed.

Remember, you deserve support, understanding, and compassion during this challenging time. Don't hesitate to seek help and guidance from professionals if needed.

Sending you love, support, and positive vibes! You're strong, capable, and deserving of care and compassion.