Waiting

SuzJ

Waiting is the worst!!!

I had a CT last Thursday, and my appointment is this Wednesday.

I have a pea sized lump, like right on the front of my trachea, slightly right - I know the rules, don't say cancer until you are told it's cancer. But I've been around a while, and not being able to swallow, or serious choking when I try, bad blood work. MAST cells (????)

This is the kicker. They won't even post my results, "we have to discuss them"

Swings and roundabouts…

wbcgaruss

Dear SuzJ, I am sorry you have to deal with this.

It is certainly what any of us who have already been through the head and neck cancer gauntlet want to hear about showing on a scan.

But as you say you know the story of "Don't call it cancer till they say it's cancer"

And this is very true I have witnessed a number of people go through this site, having some swallowing issue or a soreness or a bump somewhere and they worry and stress and it turns out to be something else entirely different.

That doesn't mean this is easy to handle, it can sure cause worry and stress for sure.

You can't eliminate it all but you can cut down on the worry by staying busy and anytime I had a rough situation I would go to my Bible and search out supporting verses and you can search Bible verses for stress or worry and there are listings for them. I would pray as always but focus on the current situation more. God is watching over you.

Here is a link to a place called stillfaith.com and I am putting the part up about worry but if you then go to the home page it lists many subjects covered in the Bible just click on them from there.
https://stillfaith.com/topics/worrying/

Suz you are already letting your mind wander thinking about not being able to swallow, or serious choking when I try, bad blood work. MAST cells (????)

Don't let this lump take your mind to bad places, take control.

You will have to face whatever is coming up which may be nothing they may leave IT ALONE AND WATCH IT FOR GROWTH.

My sister right now has a spot on her lung and that is what they are doing keeping an eye on it and a rescan in n3 months. And I guess if there is no change the next scan may be longer out next time.

I hope you can see I am trying to give you some level of comfort and trying to help you not to focus on this that is key.

As far as not posting your results, and discussing them I would guess they are trying to make sure you get accurate scan information the first time.

So you are going to get scan info just a little later and right from your doctor.

All the speculation and concern doesn't help, what you have is in fact what you have and all the speculation and worry that you do ahead will not make a difference

I remember Frannie on here when she had a scan or something coming up she always said she was hanging off her ceiling fan I guess that means climbing the walls.

One other thing to remember is they can't pronounce it officially cancer until they do a biopsy because a lump or growth can be non-malignant which is non-cancerous.

A fellow down the road who runs a Garage had a lump on the side of his face that was getting pretty big and he was going to let it go and wait. I and some others convinced him that you can't let it go it needs to be taken care of because it can affect many things head and neck if it gets too big even if it is not cancerous.
I am so thankful he listened to us and got to an ENT and they operated last week and his growth was easily removed by surgery and the best news of all the growth was non-cancerous.

I guess my point is you don't know what your path will be but worrying won't help but keeping busy and praying will ease your heart and mind. You are going to worry that is natural in this situation but the idea is to limit it and make it less.

Suz, I hope something I have said helps in some way. I do care about the members on here and try to help in any way I can.

I will put you on my prayer list and be praying for you that Our Heavenly Father leads and guides your medical team and that this pea-sized lump is nothing serious and can easily be dealt with if necessary and above all that it is benign.

Wishing You The Best

Take Care, God Bless

Russ

NEGU (Never Ever Give Up)

SuzJ

I feel this one's a bigger deal, if that makes sense?

If I apply pressure to it, I cut off my airway.

I'm not saying it . I knew last time, I told them and made all my own dr choices etc.

My recent ENT/ONC is not the same as my original. Dr Chan was awesome. Told me what was going on, what they could do, and what did I want to do

Thing is, that lumps about 6 months old. I've kept an eye on it, not said a word because maybe it would go away. The breathlessness, inability to eat, is getting away from me.

So when he said lymph nodes, immediately it was "cut them out"

I don't do waiting. It's already 1 am, and I can't sleep, rough day with Angioedema, so I'm wired with steroids also!

Thanks for putting up with my rambling.

Sue

wbcgaruss

Well, Suz, I think I get some of the ideas here with your latest situation.

I wish I had some magic words or wand to help folks like you and others and even myself could use it at times but then that wouldn't be living life out.

The idea of going into another head and neck situation even if it’s not cancer can be daunting.

After all the first one you had was enough for anyone to handle.

We know medical processes are getting better but it doesn’t make it any easier.

If pressure is not applied to it are you affected in any way?

My point in that is if it is biopsied and found non-cancerous it could be on a monitored basis and possibly nothing need be done unless it would continue to grow.

But I think I am getting ahead of myself here.

It is usually always better to have a lump or bump attended to and removed as small as possible.

You are in the early stages of this and you don’t know what the doctors are going to suggest.

Removal, watch, wait?

Suz I think we should wait till after your appointment on Wednesday and see where you are at, and what your doctor's mode of treatment and prognosis is.

Without that, we are just guessing in the wind.

I understand you have had doctors changes believe me so have I and you just have to adapt a bit and work with them and just be sincere with them about your worries and fears.

My third cancer was quite a situation and I had to leave my original ENT a fellow named. Belser, a wonderful ENT because he was referring me to a teaching hospital an hour away because of previous radiation I would be better served going there for a non-encapsulated lymph node.

I actually went not long after that to a hospital I was not familiar with, an ENT I didn’t know, And a lady cancer surgeon I never met or knew anything about and I had to trust they knew their job well and had my best interests at heart and above all that I trusted in God that no matter what he was taking care of me and I put my trust in him above all else and that his will be done in my situation.

Let's face it we can have the best doctors and nurses but even them doing their best cannot always save us but God has a plan to eternally save us relieving us of the worst fears and circumstances of eternity is the best possible situation to be in.

So rather than guess at a lot of unknown possibilities with a lot of unknown facts let's wait till after you have your appointment and have the facts and your doctor's opinion to deal with.

Who knows the news may be better than you ever imagined and you may find that the unfamiliarity with your new doctor and medical folks may turn into a good relationship, only time will tell.

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Wishing You The Best

Praying for you.

Take Care, God Bless

NEGU (Never Ever Give Up)

Russ

Jkchapa79

Suz, Scanxiety is real & awful! For me personally, I opted to not read any imaging reports, no googling about my cancer or anything. I still struggle with a lot of health anxiety. I’m Gen X and have an “it is what it is” attitude. The anxiety & worry will not change the outcome so it’s energy wasted that is better spent on the good things in your life. I wish you well & peace of mind.

Logan51

Jkchapa79

You have a good attitude (mine is "come what may"), but hope you realize writing on this Forum thread is great for venting. And, a reoccurrence is quite daunting, having already been physically damaged by the first tx regiment. And, yes, I can relate to waiting being the worst of times for so many because of the "What ifs…"

Hope things are okay with you, SuzJ