Husband just diagnosed with prostate cancer

lteschler

Good afternoon, we just received the results from the biopsy, and I'm concerned for my husband.

Gleason Score 7 (4+3) grade group 3, cores with cancer 8 (out of 12), prostate biopsies Adenocarcinoma, perineural invasion seen. PIRAD 5, PSA 9.5.

Prostate measures 4.0 x 4.9 x 4.0 cm with volume of 41 cc. Large right peripheral zone PIRAD 5 lesion

He is scheduled for his PET scan in two weeks and we see an oncologist two weeks after. I'm really scared.

wworker

When you first get biopsy results that are positive for cancer, it is always difficult to handle.

I would guess most people on this forum felt the same way you feel at one time or another during the process. I know I did (and sometimes still do).

My best advise for you is to learn all you can about the treatment options. Knowledge is power and will help with the fear.

You're not alone.

Marlon

Please know that there are many of us that have been there and know how it feels. I have kept in mind that PC is still one of the most curable cancers here is.

Clevelandguy

Hi,

Once you get the PET scan you can start to decide your future medical options. I too had Perineurial invasion and ten years later I am still around and kickin. I have included a link for you and your husband to study. After you meet with his doctor team we have plenty of experienced survivors here that can help guide you if you so desire. Remember great doctors+great facilities = great results. Good luck…………

https://www.cancer.org/cancer/types/prostate-cancer/treating.html

Dave 3+4

On_A_Journey

@Iteschler , first of all welcome, and secondly, things will be all okay.

So much has changed even in the nine years since my prostatectomy. The fact that you husband is getting a PET scan straight after diagnosis to pinpoint where the cells are, which will open up all sorts of treatment options that weren't available to me, including non-invasive ones…you guys are actually in a good position!

I hope I haven't made you think that I'm trying to trivialize your concerns. It is perfectly natural to worry, particularly through these early stages. My advice: Go along for the ride together, collectively do as much research as you can between appointments, know that you're not alone, and most importantly, know that you guys are doing the right thing by following up.

One question: What is your husband's age?

lteschler

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1716407#Comment_1716407

Thank you so much for your encouragement.

lteschler

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1716422#Comment_1716422

Thank you so much for your encouragement. I’m so grateful that I found this forum. My husband is 66.

Old Salt

All good advice.

I presume your husband is seeing a urologist. He/she will likely recommend some kind of therapy. Many urologists are not up-to-date on radiation options for prostate cancer. I see that you will be speaking with an oncologist later on. Will that be a radiation oncologist?

Best wishes; as others have eloquently written, there is hope for a normal future for the two of you.

Marlon

Old Salt gave great advice. My urologist is a surgeon, but suggested that I get an opinion from a radiation oncologist (also a urologist) and referred me to one. So I had opinions on both options. There's a lot of information to absorb, so I was glad to read the Walsh book first, so I could understand what they were talking about, and have better informed questions.

On_A_Journey

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1716424#Comment_1716424

No worries, all good. The reason I asked is that if he is, say 86, there would be an excellent chance of not even needing to bother with treatment down the track. But being only 66 has an advantage too, being still relatively young and presumably fit and strong, putting your husband in good stead. I'm sure he will come through any future treatment with flying colors. You both will.

Even with Gleason 4+3 and PSA 9.5 there is no reason to suggest that your husband's longevity has been compromised yet. He will definitely need some sort of treatment soon, but life should return to something like normal after that. Get the tests done, meet with the specialists, and do what you can to knock those little bandits out of his body. And after that, keep going back for regular checks and meetings with the relevant specialist.

All things considered, your husband's diagnosis and future treatment is just another stitch in the rich tapestry of life. Good luck with it all!

ProfWagstaff

I know each case is different but sometimes it helps to hear of similar cases and how they turned out. I was diagnosed in 2009 with a psa of 20.4 and a 4+3 gleason. I had DaVinci surgery in 2009 and salvage radiation in 2011. I'm still here. Treatments have advanced just in the past decade so get all your treatment options and decide from there. After getting your options, you can ask thus forum for more info about any specific treatment. People who have undergone that treatment will be more than glad to share their stories. You can use me for info on DaVinci surgery or IMRT radiation.

John_R

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. It can be very frightening, particularly (as some others have mentioned) when you first get a diagnosis. I'm new here having just joined. My situation is similar, Gleeson 9, grade 3.5, some local lymph node incursion and also a seminal vesicle and bladder neck. I've had a radical prostatectomy and I'm about to begin 2 yrs of hormone treatment and also radiation. There has been great advice here. ClevelandGuy mentioned great doctors and great facilities and I have found that to be true. After things moved very slowly at a more local Urology dept, I moved my care to UC San Francisco, which has state-of-the art facilities and surgeons who are the best at what they do. It has made a world of difference. I also got "Dr. Patrick Walsh's Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer" and it has helped me a great deal in researching with my wife, and knowing what to ask the doctors regarding various forms of treatment. It also gives thorough information on all types of treatments, pros and cons, side effects, etc. As someone else mentioned, I had conferences with both the surgeon and the radiologists to hear about each treatment option before making my choice. What I tell myself is that I just have to take the next right action. I wish you and your husband strength as you take up this challenge.

Unknown

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mamakath

Hi! My husband is on the same journey, just a couple of months ahead. He was at PSA 19.6 and Gleason 4+4. Pet scan was clear, so he had a “Halop” procedure which reamed out his “humongous “ (according to the Urologist) prostate. He didn’t even stay in the hospital overnight. He did have some slight bleeding along with incontinence but the bleeding only lasted about a week and the incontinence is nearly gone after a month. We ordered Tena pads from Amazon ($25 for 48) which came in a plain brown box and the package was labeled MEN in very large letters which made him feel better. He says they are actually quite comfortable. He was given a choice of prostatectomy or radiation treatment. He chose radiation in an effort to prevent incontinence while (hoping) to preserve sexual function. He starts that in December. In the meantime he started the ADT regime. One of our (male) friends is a retired physician and he told us not to panic- this has a 97-98% cure rare.

This Cancer Survivors Network has been very helpful. I check it every day.

ly55

My husband is into his 3rd yr of treatment for prostate cancer stage 4 Mets yes cancer is staying in check tumors are not visible psa level practically zero what with hormone suppressant therapy but the side effects are horrendous weight gain, fatigue anxiety. He is hell to live with angry, complaining. How dose a wife deal, Im getting blamed and he’s pushing me away. 25 yr marriage on the brink….hopeless discouraging

What now?

Marlon

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1718369#Comment_1718369

ly55, please get some counseling, either together or separately. Many people have dealt with what you're describing and counseling can help. Cancer is impacting both of you and it helps to understand how to take care of yourselves.

Wheel

please be aware that their are also other prostate cancer support groups that are specific to spouses of the patients going through prostate cancer. Some of the members in these groups that are geared to the spouse/significant other may share and be experiencing your similar thoughts. These groups include ZERO prostate cancer, A forum for her. Please google these. Our prayers are with you.

mbluth

I had an MRI in August PI RAD 5. Had a biopsy in September 8=4+4, 7 out of 12 cores. PET Scan showed no metastasis. I went to two urologists, two oncologists urologists and talked to two radiation oncologists. The two oncologists urologists had differing opinions one recommended laparoscopic surgery the other radiation. I have decided on surgery based on my research and my concerns with the side effects. Find a doctor you have confidence in. I ended up going to a famous cancer hospital and a major city hospital to get doctors that gave me confidence and would listen to all of my concerns and questions. Go on the internet and check with reliable information sources: Sloan Kettering, Mayo Clinic, MD Anderson, American Cancer society, NCCN etc. if the doctor you are seeing cannot answer the questions find another. Take control of your care. My previous doctors appeared to be going slow. If the place the recommended could not schedule a test soon enough, I would call to find one that could do it faster. It is easy where I live but if the care or service you are getting is poor go somewhere else!

lighterwood67

Well, my Gleason was a 4+3=7. Perfectly normal to be apprehensive about any type of cancer. I had a RALP around 6.5 years ago. At this time, my PSA is undetectable; I am continent; and if I could catch my wife (awfully fast) we could still participate in extra-curricular activities. I am 74. We never let this issue get in the way of our Quality of Life. My wife told me there are 4 stages to life by years: 0-25 (Stage 1); 26-50 (Stage 2); 51-75 (Stage 3); 76-100 (Stage 4); 100+ (Overtime). I guess what she was trying to tell me that I am already Stage 3 in years of life. Anything else is just a bump in the road.

dsswest

it can be very scary. Everybody’s different, but I have found the more I learn and ask questions of my Care team the better it helps me with my concerns. I was diagnosed at 58 years old. PSA was 57 and Gleason 4+3. PET scan said no metastasis, so stage 3. Needless to say we were very scared too. Ask doctors lots of questions, and make sure you both take care of yourselves. Seek therapy if needed - talking to a professional can be very helpful. Keep a positive outlook to the best of your abilities.