I need reassurance, but I don't deserve it

hessay
hessay Member Posts: 7 Member
edited July 17 in Liver Cancer #1

Hello all. I have been on chemo for 12 months and I am about to beat it.

I feel awful about it, and I don't know how to feel.

I still have two tumors in my liver , and one more chemo trip before I get to know if I've beat it.


I feel SO guilty I might beat it. My father died from colon cancer. My wife's father died of cancer and I can't remember which one.

I feel like a fraud and I really need to hear stories about how chemo side effects will play out. I have broad neuropathy and my hands and feet are garbage.

Does that change over time?

Will I ever feel normal again?


I called the help line and this is where I am. Thank you and I'm sorry. Please share anything you might know.

Comments

  • rcole
    rcole Member Posts: 15 Member
    #2

    hi hessay i have kidney cancer ,had a kidney removed a little over two years ago i have two tumors in me yet one on my liver and one where my kidney was sometimes i have the same feeling you have ,my father passed away from cancer two months before i was diagnosed with cancer , i take meds every day i was told my cancer may never go away ,my feet hurt with every step i take ,about feeling normal again cant help you much there because i dont ,if you go over to the chatroom here between 10 and 11 pm est there is a lot of us there thst can help you ,good luck and hope to hear from you soon

  • hessay
    hessay Member Posts: 7 Member
    #3

    Thank you. Had a CT two weeks ago, and only the liver left to go. Still all the weird from numb toes and hands and I wish that to go away :)

  • melissamata1997
    melissamata1997 Member Posts: 1 *
    #4

    Hello, i was diagnosed with lymphoma stage 2 at 24 years old. The fear was always there. But I meet great people all on the same healing journey as me. I had 8 sessions of chemo and on my last one I broke down.

    I knew I was doing way better than my doctor expected.

    On my last chemo, I was sat next to a man who happens to be a father, a husband, grandpa, an uncle. And he was dying.
    The remorse I felt because HE should be continuing his life for his love ones. HE has people who still want their dad in their lives. Grand kids trying to watch him get old. Yet I’m the one leaving the hospital and going to my empty house to move on.
    I still don’t understand why I’m still here. And what my purpose is. But that was a MOMENT I will never forget in my life and will always be thankful. But I will always wish it should have been him.

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