Remission Blues?

BrightSide

My husband was diagnosed with Stage 3B colon cancer in May. He’s 47 years old and father of two kids under 5. It had spread to two lymphnodes. He had successful surgery and three months of chemo (Capox). In September once chemo ended, first scans were clear. We just had second round of three month scans and they were also clear. My husband continues to live in a state of anxiety, stressing about cancer returning, feeling sorry for himself that this happened. I am trying to cherish every moment after this experience. He goes to therapy. I just feel so alone and that I can’t imagine how much harder things will get for our relationship if he continues down this road. I really thought he would be ready to start a new chapter and I’m shocked it’s the opposite. Is this normal? What can I expect and what I can do? I’ve tried to talk to him about it and he initially agrees and changes his ways but then reverts to anxious tendencies. Thanks for any advice

BerniceOB

hi

I do think that it is normal. Your husband faced a life and death situation. It may take some time for him.

my husband is 2 1/2 years in remission now. During the time that he was going through chemo, I noticed the change in him and in myself too. I developed anxiety at the fear of losing him. I had never experienced anxiety before but still struggle with it now. I also saw my husband struggling with his own thoughts and emotions about what he was going through. We are both still struggling with anxiety but as time passes, our lives are becoming more and more as it used to be. Your husband might just need time. You mentioned that he is going through therapy, this is probably very helpful to him.

my situation was different than yours as our daughter is in her 20’s. I know that it must be so difficult for you since you have small children. If possible , maybe speaking to a therapist would help you as well. Cancer is difficult for both the spouse and the person battling it. It takes away a person’s control. My husband regained his control by learning about anti-oxidants in food and changing his diet to incorporate his new-found knowledge. It’s not for everyone but for him, it helped him to focus on what he can control.

I am sending you both best wishes. My doctor did tell me that the more time that passes, the easier it will get. I am finding that to be true.

BrightSide

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1711642#Comment_1711642

Thank you Bernice. I really appreciate your response and I am sending you and your family continued positive news. I am also in therapy and it is very helpful. I just thought that we would try to go back to “normal” as soon as we could, as we have been lucky to have had such a short stint with cancer (thus far, knock on wood). Our kids handled it all pretty well (mainly unaware for the most part). I will try to be more patient as we continue through this.