It is now 12:08. As I begin my 54th year

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Helen321
Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
edited December 2023 in Colorectal Cancer #1

I am reminded that I am grateful to be here. That there is a group of people who I miss dearly who once wrote their weekend plans every Friday on this very web page. A group of people who just wanted to keep living. I am now 11 years cancer free. I cried on this very web page at 42 years old, scared, confused and not able to sleep. I cry again on this very webpage scared, confused and not able to sleep for very different reasons. Cancer robbed me of so much, I haven't had any level of normalcy in an entire decade. But the fact is, I'm here to cry. I'm here to see my grandchildren. And yes I am in a lot of pain most days but I also have moments of joy, of sorrow, of laughter, of love. Today, in this moment, I get to be 54. I know that not everyone gets to say that and I am unbelievably grateful. I hope to be here to say it again at 55 and I hope to say that I have found stability in my life and health. To all those still in the struggle, you are beautiful and you are worth fighting for. I love you. To those who have made it to the other side, I love you and I'm glad you're still here. In this moment, of my 54th year, I celebrate life. As it is. With all its ups and down. Thank you for all of those who helped me cry then and brought me to this moment of tears of gratefulness I have now. I love you all. Helen

Comments

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    edited December 2023 #2
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    Hi Helen: It's so good to see your post. We were both on for the longest time but I don't visit as much anymore as I hate this new format. I can't find the people I'm looking for, or if there has been an update somehow I keep missing it. I'm sorry you are in so much pain daily. My life never went back to normal either. I still spend up to 15 times in the bathroom a day. Not all days are as bad as others, but I always have to be cautious and can never eat at a restaurant because my plumbing just don't work like it used to. I'm like you, I'm still very grateful to be here. We just need to plug along and I just take it that God has a reason for all of this, I'm just not sure what. He has brought through 15 years of survivorship which I'll always be thankful for. By the way, Happy 54th. Wishing you the best in the future.

    Hugs! Kim

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
    #3
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    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1711136#Comment_1711136

    I looked for you Kim and several others. I find that the only way to find people now is to go back to an old post and look at replies and hit the person's name. Then scroll down and see when they came on last. It's ridiculous how bad this format is. Not at all community friendly. I read some of your posts about the bathroom. We live the same life. I don't eat except at home and even that is so limited. I often question why this exists at all. So good to see your posts, you helped me so much to keep a level head over 2012, thank you for the well wishes! Love Helen

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #4
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    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1711168#Comment_1711168

    Never thought about a search, great idea. May your 54th year be the best yet. I'll have to try and get on more often to see if I can help newbies. I always loved trying to calm them and letting them know what I went through so they don't feel so alone. I'm so glad that you are still posting as it shows the group that we can still carry on, even if it's not like it was.

    Big Hugs! Kim

  • bangle
    bangle Member Posts: 13 Member
    #5
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    Oh how I love to read the posts of you all that have survived to this point. I am somewhat new and just finished my last chemo treatment hopefully and by gods grace final. Your encouragement is so needed. That is why I am here. I’ll get my CT scan before the end of the month and if clean begin a different journey. Cheers to a better New Year. Keep posting I love reading your stories and Happy Birthday Helen🎂

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #6
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    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1711198#Comment_1711198

    Oh how that last chemo treatment was so special. Celebrating is a must when this occurs. Hope you got to do something special for your last day. Wishing you the best on the CT scan and hope that you have a wonderful New Year.

    Kim

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,796 Member
    edited December 2023 #7
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    I will be 65 next week. SIXTY FIVE~ Damn! I wasn't supposed to see that number, yet, here I am.

    You will post here, when you are 65 and we will be here to celebrate with you.

    As for long-term side effects, I have plenty of them, along with the fall-out from my Heart Attack. With shame, I sometimes find myself looking around at people who are not taking care of themselves, while I am doing all I can, and feel a little - lets say, perturbed. But heck, my Doctor told me that I was just 'unlucky'. HA!

    BUT, I am happy. Happy, happy, happy. Side effects and all. I am alive and I am so very, very grateful.

    I remember all of our old friends. Gosh, how I could list them all - Craig, Lizard, NanaB, JanJan, Abita, Lisa, Lisa, Buzzard, Mojo, John, John, WInterMarie, Pepe, Barb, Johnnybegood...... oh my goodness, I could go on and on. And all of the caregivers who lost their loved one, Goldie, Ruth, Kathleen, Trapbear, LindaK., Wolfen, Danker (my special friend) .......on and on I could go. I remember them all. I love all that they were and what they shared.

    Damn this new format. I miss my old friends who are still living and fighting and hate the forum layout as much as I do.

    Here's to 2024. I hope to see you all, allot more often.

    Trubrit

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