How does everyone cope with scope appts ?

drpearl Member Posts: 28 Member
edited October 2023 in Anal Cancer #1

Hi all,

Just had my 4th, 3month follow up anoscope appointment yesterday, good news is all still looks clear.

I finished my treatments in Sept 2022. So I am one year out and have at least another year of scopes every 3 months. And then we'll see about adjusting the time line?

I am not a wimp, in fact I'm pretty damn tough in the rest of my life. I actually just completed the Chicago Marathon on Sunday. However when I am in that room and have to kneel on that awful moving table, I feel like a terrified child. My surgeon is kind and gentle, but I just can not stand going through that exam. The pain afterward, maybe it's partly mental anguish? I cried all the way home yesterday. I felt nauseous and shaky. I feel like a freak. Why is it so hard for me to just relax. Does this extremeness come up for anyone else?

We were raised to keep our bottoms "covered" our dresses down as little girls. If we did something really wrong we would occasionally get spanked on the bottom. I can't stand the whole butt exam thing. Stay away from my butt, only don't because I don't want that to ever come back either so I know I HAVE to deal with this for at least 4 more years!

Has anyone else had this issue? Are there people that this doesn't bother? How do you all deal with this? I actually have training in mindset and mindfulness meditation and can help others cope, but regardless of how prepared I feel going into the appointment, it doesn't help me when in that moment for myself. I feel like a superhero stripped of their power.

I'm not afraid of the cancer coming back, I don't have issues getting scans or doing bloodwork. I just want for my pants to stay on!!!!

Are there any therapists out there in this ****-cancer world? The typical ones I've found just don't get that I'm not afraid of the cancer itself!! It messed up my life for a year sure, but that part is over. Trying to get back to work and fix our finances and move on with life. Everytime I get back to a good place... here comes that next scope appointment again!!!

I don't want to feel like this anymore! Any tips how to prepare for my next one in January?

Are there pain creams we can use prior to these appointments? Does anyone use medical cannabis or Xanax day of appts? I'm afraid to get TOO medicated and react even more weirdly.

Thanks for any advice