Sole caregiver. RCC and parapelgia

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cancersux311
cancersux311 Member Posts: 1 Member
in Kidney Cancer #1

I don't even know where to start. I just signed up and put this in my bio. Long story short, I am completely and utterly heartbroken and overwhelmed. Our lives feel like a **** nightmare we can't wake up from for the past two months since we got the news that my husband has stage 4 RCC and due to a tumor in his spine, is paralyzed. He is 45, I am 42. We had our lives together in front of us with plans to adopt a kid. now I have to come to terms that those plans are done for. we won't have a family and I feel like I could lose him at any time. he is my everything. in Feb we will be married for 10 years. I am terrified of losing him. I'm worried about both of our mental states. I'll take any advice I can get for how to deal with this.

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  • eug91
    eug91 Member Posts: 471 Member
    #2
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    I'm so sorry. It's a shock to hear the c-word - and it's only natural to mourn the loss of the life that you imagined for yourself and your husband.

    Hopefully as time passes, you'll be able to lean on your support network - friends or family or a doctor/therapist or anyone who can help you get through. We'll be thinking of you and praying for you.

    Lastly, this was a bit of advice that a former poster on this board gave that I found helpful-


    There are no do-overs, but here you are. With more time you will be able to go on living. You'll be okay.

    This is how you do this. Otherwise you are only wasting time on the negative thoughts. But believe me, you will never stop thinking about cancer. If you are going to live or die, move forward. You are living with cancer. Not dying from cancer. It makes all the difference in the world. But takes practice.

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