(Vent) My mom has bone cancer and is acting differently
I’m 19 years old, I watch over my mom, 49, who has bone cancer. She has diabetes and multiple issues with her lungs and heart, and many surgeries with unclogging arteries, removing a hernia, and has survived a diabetic coma in the past.
Whats worse is, people had given her COVID 3 times. My mom survived each time she caught COVID. I helped my mom recover 2 times when she got it, the second time she was in the Philippines in quarantine by herself. Those times, I was really, really scared and depressed. I already have depression and anxiety, but ever since I saw my mom get COVID over and over again knowing she has poor health already, it’s been so much worse. My dad and I did everything we could to prevent her from getting COVID, but she still got it. We helped her recover from it but the lasting after effects of COVID weigh on her.
I was there with her when she got her diagnosis. I can’t explain how it felt other than just sadness and pain. I can’t begin to imagine how my mom felt.
She finished chemo and cannot take any more chemo. I watched her as I grew up slowly lose her ability to walk properly, watch her skin get worse, her coughing getting more frequent and awful sounding, many pneumonia scares. Her medications grew and grew.
She used to joke about not being able to walk around in the mall with me for too long as a teenager, and now she has to use a wheelchair.
After a heart surgery for a blocked artery, and the first few months of chemo, she was bedridden to help recover her strength and energy and because it was too painful to be in most positions because the immense pain in her back and ribs. Impossible to walk or get up without me or my dad’s help. Her hair is gone and she has lost significant amount of weight. She is an overweight woman and I’ve always seen her at one size so it came as a big shock. Eventually she got back some of her strength and can get up and walk very short distances, but still has to use a wheelchair.
and slowly, her mental health has been declining each day. She’s acting more childish, stubborn, and whines and yells. I’m used to her whining, because it was something she always did, but she’s so different now it’s really messing with me. She yells and yells and yells for me or my dad whenever she’s not sleeping. So much that I’m afraid it’ll ruin her voice. She’s constantly speaking in loud and high pitched voice and asking to be let outside like it depends on her life. She struggles to open the door which scares me, because we’ve been in this home for over 5 years.
Eventually I do let her outside and go with her, because I’m afraid she might wander somewhere unsafe or onto the street. When I ask her why she wants to go outside, she doesn’t explain why, she just wants to go. She whines to my dad about wanting to come to work with him, something she didn’t do before.
Her behavior is so different and I know it must be because of her cancer and how it’s affecting her physically and mentally, but it’s painful to see my mom like this.
I cannot afford therapy, or ask help from my brothers as they live far away and have their own families to take care of. My dad helps a lot but has to work a lot to keep us afloat.
So most of the time it’s just me and my mom. I’m staying somewhat optimistic but it’s a lot. Whenever I leave her room to mine, I can’t stop crying.
What can I do to become a stronger support for my mom at this time?
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