Recently Diagnosed Husband

brookeawesome29 Member Posts: 1 Member


My husband was diagnosed with stomach cancer on July 10th. This diagnosis started with back pain in early June which progressively got worse over 12 days, when he went to the doctor the pain was initially diagnosed as kidney stones and he was to await a CT scan. The next day 6/16 he was in such extreme pain he could not walk and we went to the emergency room. The ER thought there was a blockage to the bladder so they installed a catheter. The catheter did not help and we returned to the ER the following day. At this point the kidneys were on the brink of failing and he was admitted to the hospital for 3 days, had emergency surgery to install nephrostomy tubes and bags and ultimately not find the blockage in any CT scans.

At the end of the next week (6/30) his primary care doctor informed us a mass in the stomach was noticed on the most recent CT scan. An upper endoscopy was conducted on 7/5 for a biopsy and we received the biopsy results on 7/10 that the tumor is cancer. On 7/20 we met with the oncologist and they informed us the cancer is stage 4 based on the impact to the ureters and the kidneys/bladder. The oncologist said the cancer was incurable because it has spread to the peritoneal, the plan was chemo to extend as much time as possible and he has 1-2 years of life at most.

This was the worst news we could possibly have received. We got married in October 2022, he moved here from Australia in September 2022 and I am pregnant with our first child.

We received 2 additional opinions from City of Hope and UCSD and had better outlooks based on the PET scan not showing spreading to other organs. However our insurance is not accepted by either of those providers until I have the opportunity to change insurance during open enrollment

The port was installed today 8/15 and chemo was scheduled to start 8/17 however we found out the oncologist delayed starting chemo to 8/31 instead so it’s 2 weeks after the port installation. Therefore we would not have chemo started for almost 2 months after the diagnosis for an advanced and aggressive cancer. We are feeling very hopeless after this news, my husband feels like the oncologist is not communicating with us and is not invested in finding a cure because of the stage 4 diagnosis

Is this normal for the chemo to wait longer after the port? Also has anyone had a similar diagnosis? We are looking for any hope and intend to fight this!

Thank you for reading this long post,



  • Craig48
    Craig48 Member Posts: 21 Member


    I was diagnosed with stage 3 four years ago and am cancer free now. The chemo that they have available the last few years is so much stronger than it was five years ago it can be much more effective than it was previously for gastric cancer.

    I was 70 when diagnosed but in good shape and took the strongest chemo strength mix -- a strength for someone twenty years younger and then we even bumped that by 10 percent. The side effects were very intense but we wanted our best shot. You can read all the details in a thread I have below but all cases differ. You will have trouble supporting his worst side effects during chemo due to your pregnancy and you should be sure to find some supporting players now while he is still mobile.

    I believe my chemo started over four weeks after my diagnosis as they did surgical laparoscopic and other investigations. The chemo cocktail goes throughout his system so it can kill a lot of bad cells if most effective. Be sure to get pills for his nausea which will develop from the chemo.

    You are in our prayers and post again as you have more questions.


  • Hcatheri
    Hcatheri Member Posts: 1 *

    Dear Brooke,

    I am sorry that your husband and you have to go through this ordeal. I too have Stage IV stomach cancer with spread to the peritoneum. I had to wait about 7 weeks to start chemo but so far I have had a good response after 3 cycles. As you probably know by now, the chemo can be rough but you can work with your oncologist team to reduce most of the side effects. This is why you will want to have one that will listen to you. Change doctors if you must because this will become a long term relationship. From what I’ve gathered from other support groups, you also will need to meet with a surgeon who specializes in stomach cancer. Dr. Woo at City of Hope comes highly recommended as she is willing to do surgical procedures (Eg HIPEC) on Stage 4 patients. However, before this I would prioritize getting his kidneys and ureters healed. The chemo should help but have they suggested anything else?