Single Mom - how much help will i need?

knitsandthings

Hi,

I'm in my mid-30s and have an 8 year old and a 2 year old. I've been diagnosed with anal cancer and will be getting 28-30 radiation treatments. i'll do 2 IV treatments of mitomycin (Day 1 and Day 28/30) and will take capecitabine chemo pills everyday during radiation.

I'm trying to plan out support for my kids (and cat and dog). I'm tihnking i'll be okay for the first 2 weeks but maybe not okay after that? I am the one responsible for picking them up at daycare/camp this summer. is this really unrealistic? i know it will hurt to sit so will I not be able to drive? I will have to sit to get to radiation everyday so my thinking is that i will be able to do it.. but some nurse friends are telling me that is unrealistic.

So should i plan to have people pick up my kids and watch them for maybe weeks 2-6/8? this is going to be insanely difficult to coordinate.

My oldest's dad is not an option and my youngest's dad manages a plant so works in-person until after daycare/camp is closed. I am trying to work with my friends locally and maybe my family but my family is an hour away, really.

How have parents of young children dealt with this? i'm just so confused about how much pain i will be in. My doctors seem to think "I may get pretty tired near the end" which is very vague and having nurse friends on the other end of the spectrum telling me I won't be able to even get my kids a snack.

I just want to plan for them to be cared for during this time. Any advice or personal experiences would be amazing. thanks so much.

Beeger

Hi there.,

I am so sorry to hear about your news. Shew I’ve been there. I’m two years post the same treatment you will be having. I fared decent the first two- three weeks however once the radiation burns began it was tough and I utilized drivers to the treatments. But again that was towards week 4 and 3 weeks post treatment were the worst. It had a delayed effect.

also be aware it can cause severe vaginal stenosis and a pelvic floor therapist is your best success at being able to salvage that area. The use of dilators is key to keep the area patent. I had terrible burns front to back and excellent pain killers. Dilaudid.

You got this! Hang on for the ride! It gets worse before it gets better! Today I was out on my mountain bike and I’m 56 years old!

Beeger

Also you will be able to move around the house fine. Just slowly and sometimes sluggish from fatigue. I continue to walk gingerly on my treadmill to keep my stamina up. You won’t be incapacitated. I did however get severe mouth sores from chemo and couldn’t swallow very well but I was still independent. I’m a nurse too 🥰

Beeger

Sorry I keep sending these posts separately ! I was not able to sit to drive in the end stages with the burns. I had to sit on special donut pillows and even lay down in back seat of the car. The radiation table you lay face down buns up no underwear:((

knitsandthings

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1706137#Comment_1706137

This is all so immensely helpful, thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. I can’t wait for this to be behind me and my family :) I hope you had a lovely bike ride! Thank you again.

Beeger

My absolute privilege! I promise you This too shall pass! I am No evidence of disease and thriving now, you will be too

feckcancer

Hi, sorry to hear about your news. Treatment is hard but doable. I was going to work but all my oncologists said please don't, you have to be really really tough to do that, so I took their advice, and I am so glad I did especially because my Mother was dying at the same time. If it was me in your shoes I would rally as much help as I could so you can put all your energy into getting better over your treatment time and the weeks after. It's really hard to go through this, sending you hugs and love. Hang on in there. Treatment will feel like it's taking for ever but then the 6 weeks are over. Stay Strong.