Hospitalized with COVID stage 3 cancer pushing me away

koalamom

shortness of breath, pain, fever..... he is at the hospital in isolation, no one can enter, I am devastated.

my first question have anyone with cancer here survived covid? I am terrified. he is stage 3 colorectal cancer, just completed 1 stage of chemo and going through radiation . I just want to know if there is hope for him. I can't sleep thinking of him and my daugthers and his mom

also... we have been separated (his decision) for 2 years after 11 years of marriage and 2 kids. our relationship remains good and to the point that I thought that regardless of no longer being a couple we were still friends and family. turns out that since chemotherapy started besides his mom, there is a girlfriend that I assume he is seeing since less than a year ago. (but i really have no idea because he refers to her as friend only) but, I have offered to be there with him and he just do not want me around, keeps pushing me away, I feel like he is going to die anytime soon and I will not have chance to be with him anymore instead there is a person that just showed up in his life and gets to hold his hand during this tough times. no one knows anything about her not even his mom. the last weekend before starting chemo he went with her to a trip the whole weekend. I was recovering from the separation already but this diagnosis triggered a lot in me. i want to break in and be there. but i have to respect his decisions. how could he do this to me? why a person would do that?

my family does not understand me, they say he does not deserve anything from me, but I can't help it. I get a lot of pressure; people say if i keep crying i am going to get sick too. i do not want that but i do not know what to do either.