hospitalized for COVID with stage 3 colorectal cancer

koalamom

shortness of breath, pain, fever..... he is at the hospital in isolation, no one can enter, I am devastated.

my first question have anyone with cancer here survived covid? I am terrified. he is stage 3 colorectal cancer, just completed 1 stage of chemo and going through radiation . I just want to know if there is hope for him. I can't sleep thinking of him and my daugthers and his mom

also... we have been separated (his decision) for 2 years after 11 years of marriage and 2 kids. our relationship remains good and to the point that I thought that regardless of no longer being a couple we were still friends and family. turns out that since chemotherapy started besides his mom, there is a girlfriend that I assume he is seeing since less than a year ago. (but i really have no idea because he refers to her as friend only) but, I have offered to be there with him and he just do not want me around, keeps pushing me away, I feel like he is going to die anytime soon and I will not have chance to be with him anymore instead there is a person that just showed up in his life and gets to hold his hand during this tough times. no one knows anything about her not even his mom. the last weekend before starting chemo he went with her to a trip the whole weekend. I was recovering from the separation already but this diagnosis triggered a lot in me. i want to break in and be there. but i have to respect his decisions. how could he do this to me? why a person would do that?

my family does not understand me, they say he does not deserve anything from me, but I can't help it. I get a lot of pressure; people say if i keep crying i am going to get sick too. i do not want that but i do not know what to do either.

beaumontdave

Hi Koalamom, my experiences as both patient and caregiving husband, are far removed from the issues you are dealing with, it's hard to imagine your pain and anxiety in this particular situation. He seems to have sufficient support for his condition[s], I agree with those that care about you, that your main focus needs to be on your mental/emotional health, and dealing with the unresolved pain of your separation, and the helplessness of being unable to be of help to him. This may require more then some similar, relatable blog stories to sort out and get through. If it's available, meet with a pro, someone trained to help cope with such stress. If you can't find or afford that sort of guidance, find a couple of the many books written on this kind of emotional conflict, and read through them. If anxiety is getting the best of you at any specific moment, start walking/hiking, until you're worn out. This is a tried and true technique for me, and many who come here. I walked the tension out until I was too tired to be stressed the way I was before. While Cindy slept through chemo, I walked 7-9 miles sometimes, to deal with the angst of it all. It did help............................................Dave

SnapDragon2

My advice. Find out if they are using the Remdesivir protocol. It is deadly. Research it please. Do not agree to the ventilator. Along with the ventilator is a huge cocktail of drugs that are not good for anyone with covid.

koalamom

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1705522#Comment_1705522

Thank you for this advice, coincidentally , I started to walk the miles few weeks ago, also, I changed my music playlist, and today I drew a new boundary for my family to stop the negative talk and had the best sunday with my daughters as well.. I know I might still I get this type of breakdowns once in a while, but the good part is... that this extreme situation finally made me see what I was avoiding seeing before, I can now accept that he does not want me in his life AT ALL not even on the verge of death, and I will find peace with it. thank you for taking the time to reply.

koalamom

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1705523#Comment_1705523

ty, I will pass this information to his mom, the scan shows a mild pulmonary laceration but they say he is recovering, today he ate better, and it seems the antibiotics are working too. I will research this info and let his family know.