Lonely in the middle of family
My husband died a little less than 2 years ago from leukemia. I moved in with my son that night and have never left. They are been an extraordinary help to me emotionally with two children that I spend a lot of time, energy and money on. My daughter and her family live very close. So it all sounds perfect, but I cried myself to sleep last night. In the middle of a informal spontaneous family get together we were playing games on the wee (spelling). Each time I played against someone their family members were pulling for the person in their own family. It made me feel so deeply alone. They are my family, but sometimes it feels like I don't have a family. Each of them have their family members who have their back so to speak, but my supporter place is empty and it feels so scary and so empty. I realize this is the way families operate, but it still hurts when in the middle of family you feel so alone. Of course, we don't talk about Sonny (husband) because I don't want to burden my children with my grief so I retreat to my bedroom to suffer in silence. What is the answer to this god awful dynamic.
Comments
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but he is with you. Right in your heart, cheering you on and telling you to show everyone what you got. No matter where you go, what you do, he’s there so talk to him in your head if you have to, smile and cry with him. He’s always with you and will always remain your biggest supporter.
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Flowery words of support without real substance. I am alone without any family grief support for those family members have not been in this terrible heartwrenching position. My wife passed from multiple sources of cancer after a six year battle. I have tried several options dealing with depression..with dispair..entering a dark area all meet with flowery words. My nights are spent tearful also..I am surrounded by memories of our life together which bring joy to my heart and also sorrow to my soul. I am 75 years old and in excellent overall health but do not expect to live long based upon my inability in dealing with the loss of my darling wife..I am a christian whos spirit has been shattered. I guess that means my faith is quite weak but flowery words are not the answer to repairing an aligning heart..God Bless
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