In remission, but haunted by cancer

akat

I am four years in remission from Primary Mediastinal B Cell Lymphoma. I was 28 when I was diagnosed and like everyone else who has faced a cancer diagnosis, it was traumatic. I have invested all my resources and time into being healthy, physically and mentally, since I finished chemotherapy. I exercise diligently, I run a lot, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I have a vice for sweets — but even that is measured — and I speak to a therapist once a week, and sometimes even more. But it feels like my own ghost, the sickly version of me that petrified and still scares me to this day, haunts me every single day. She stops me from moving forward in my life, and she’s kept me stuck in the past.

I need to know if other people here are haunted by their cancer experiment so many years into remission. how are you dealing with it? How do you move on and own your life?