struggling with my dad's cancer

dhceou

Back in June we found out that my dad had prostate cancer (Gleason score 7, localized, genealogy testing is pointing towards reoccurrence in the future but we'll worry about that when the time comes). I'm 24 years old and live alone with my dad, he and my mom split back in 2016 and she lives in Arizona. I've been working full time an hour away and am also going back to school on the 29th. I just feel like my life is falling apart and am slightly going crazy. My relationship with my boyfriend is falling and today I asked him for some space until he gets back from his vacation.

Today my dad told me through tears that he hates me, that I left him alone to sit by himself for the past 2 months (again I work full time Monday-Friday). He laid into me for a good 25 minutes before taking off and hasn't been back since about 11:30 this morning. Mentally I'm just collapsing. I want to empathize with his diagnosis but I've taken on the role as therapist, daughter, maid, caretaker, employee, soon-to-be student, girlfriend, friend, sister, sister-in-law, auntie to my sweet little nieces and nephews.

I'm considering putting myself in therapy. I don't know this man anymore. I don't know who I am or what I'm supposed to be doing anymore. I have the weight of the entire world on my shoulders and mentally I'm not here anymore.

What helps? I'm very active in my church and find some sort of relief being at services. Should I enter therapy? Maybe get on a medication? I need suggestions

keon

Hi, I don't have any advice on the matter but I wanted to still chime in for sake of solidarity. I'm in a similar situation right now as well. I'm also 24 and living with just my dad to look after him while working full time and planning on going back to school next year. I've been struggling a lot just to simply take care of myself with everything that's been going on and feel like I'm failing the one person who needs me to be there the most. My dad feels like he's a massive burden and he's not the person I know him as. It's a heavy feeling to be trying to push through day to day with all of this responsibility and fear and stress. It's nice to find someone else going through the same struggle, although, I am just as saddened that you are facing the same kind of pain. How have you and your dad and school been? I'd love to chat.