Help, please

Deathorglory Member Posts: 364 Member
edited November 2022 in Caregivers #1

My wife (my supposed caregiver) has been melting down far past my ability to deal with. She's screaming and ranting and terrifying the dogs (and me). She's ranting about things with a previous girlfriend from when Bill Clinton was president. She's just screaming and cursing for hours. I had to call 911 last week b/c I just couldn't deal with her breakdown anymore. She needs someone to take care of her, but I just don't have the strength. I'm struggling just to take care of myself b/c she really hasn't been super helpful. I have cancer for the fourth time, this time is stage III, locally advanced pancreatic cancer and it comes with a grim, but not hopeless prognosis. I've reached out to my family (she's estranged from her family) to maybe take her out to lunch or something just to get her some human contact that's not me, b/c I'm the stressor, not the solution. Any ideas on what might help her calm down and be able to help me?


  • CSNSupportTeam
    CSNSupportTeam admin Posts: 183

    Hi Deathorglory,

    Thank you for reaching out to your American Cancer Society's Cancer Survivors Network.

    Please reach out to us at ACS's National Cancer Information Center. You can call our toll-free number, 1.800.227.2345, where Cancer Information Specialists are available around the clock every day of the week to speak with you. We may be able to assist in finding resources to help you both. You can also utilize the Live Chat feature Monday through Friday between 7am-6:30pm CST on

    Best regards, 


    CSN Support Team

  • lovinghusband08
    lovinghusband08 Member Posts: 2 *

    As a caregiver for my wife. I am her sole support and I lean on my friends and family a great deal to help me vent and get through tough times. I've learned I need to step away regularly and do things I enjoy get a break from the situation. I would encourage her to do the same. Go out with friends, do some things she enjoys. It especially helps me when I have had a tough week to get out of the house for a few hours with a friend and play disc golf or sit and talk. I hope this helps.

  • stagg27
    stagg27 Member Posts: 12 Member

    Talk to your Drs inform them they have connections for SUPPORT they can help you try to encourage her to go to a support group for caregivers which also Drs office could help you … try to take her away from the environment and not discuss your health issues try to just enjoy the moment take her to the beach later just watch the waves feel the breeze on her face tell her to take deep press talk about the memories that you’ve shared throughout the years how you met bring her back to good times it will help both of you … you both need to live life not just live for the cancer treatments!!!! It’s suffocating her .. she feels she is losing you and has no control … take a day off of being a patient and enjoy your love of your life and be in the moment!!! Make memories!!! It’s very important.. cancer treatments consumes one’s live … you need to take time out to live !!! God bless 🌹

  • stagg27
    stagg27 Member Posts: 12 Member

    Ask for a social worker they are will connected around your are for help and support for u both take care …