Surgery is tomorrow -- now cancer feels real

stephaniacan

In responding to a very kind and supportive comment, I realized that I am freaking out because my surgery (lumpectomy, sentinal node biopsy) is tomorrow and it feels like surgery is making the cancer REAL.

I started having this feeling in earnest Saturday, when I started having pain and weakness in my right arm after seed implantation. I never thought one poke in the boob could do this! It feels like it was worse than my biopsy (punch), which doesn't make sense. I tried sleeping with my husband last night -- some time together before sleeping in a recliner after surgery -- and I couldn't make it through the night. Wah! 😢

Did anyone else feel this way? Were you suddenly more frightened right before surgery because it made cancer -- and whatever treatment was to follow -- real, and you realized things would never be "normal" any more?

pmargenau

Hi! I’m one week post op partial mastectomy and 15 lymph nodes removed. Right before is dreadful and emotional but when they wheel you out…if you get good margins, the alien is gone 😊

I have some complications as does most with lymph node removal but hearing “surgically cured” “the rest is prevention” on Thursday is the best news EVER.

Stay strong and above all positive!! That’s the key to getting through this from what I’m told. I have radiation and hormone therapy and possibly chemo ahead of me and this whole lymphedema thing but “cancer free” will be my guide.

I wish you hugs ans luck and keep us posted. Hope your well.

Boatlady

The initial surgery was not a big deal (lumpectomy) didn't give it much thought, except I was feeling bad that I had done something wrong to get cancer in the first place. Both my mother and sister had breast cancer. So I guess I was doomed from the start 😉. I then had to have a mastectomy as the margins were not good. Then my onka score was high and had to have chemo - that was the scary part. I cried on the way to my first infusion, mainly because I didn't know what to expect and I was scared. You hear so many different things, but no one tells you what it's really like. Well, turns out the infusion was no big deal, it's the week afterward that sucks. My last infusion was December 27, my hair is growing back in slowly. I'm glad it's over, but I would do it again if needed. I asked my Dr, how do you know if it comes back - his response was your bones will ache. There is no test to tell if they killed it all, it's like grains of sand. So here I sit hoping it doesn't come back. Oh ya, I now have to take Letrozole for the next 5 years as I was ER+.

Keep a positive attitude, it is the best. Good luck on your journey

stephaniacan

Thank you for sharing with me. It's interesting what you said about feeling bad you got bc. I have kinda the same feelings. I'm obese, and I keep thinking if I weren't I might not have this cancer, and might not be such a burden on my husband. Who knows? I've struggled to lose weight since age 8, with true success (normal BMI) once. I think there is so much we don't know about how bodies work, and we blame ourselves for things we could never have controlled.

I don't know if I'll get chemo -- don't have onca score yet. I am guessing yes. Someone on here or another support website asked the question, "Has anyone been on Tamoxephene (?sp) who has had a positive experience?" She got a out 20 responses in 24 hours from people who basically had no side effects or whose were easily controlled. Perhaps you'd do something similar?

Anyway, you seem very brave to me, a definite warrior going through this current chemo and preparing for more meds to come. You're an inspiration!

I wish you all the best in your cancer treatments! I'm praying for you! 🤗🙏❤️

stephaniacan

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1698122#Comment_1698122

Thank you! I'm feeling much more positive than I did before the surgery. Just waiting to see what's next -- chemo or straight to radiation. And am sleeping like crazy! Surgery really knocked me harder than I thought it would. But I feel good and "the alien is gone!"

Thank you again! ❤️🤗

Boatlady

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1698194#Comment_1698194

Glad the alien has left. Do keep that positive attitude, it really helps. You mentioned you have been fighting with your weight most of your life, it only gets worse as we age. Another thing I've learned from my Dr and PT, stay away from sugar and alcohol - I told them "no fun". I try to stay on a low carb diet, but it's hard, too many good things tempting me. 😁

Sleep is what your body needs, get your rest. You will soon have the much needed information you are waiting for (clear margins), then you can take the next steps on your journey. Best to you❤️

Sailingaway

My aunt took Tamoxifen and she ended up getting endometrial cancer. It's seems all these drugs have this side effect.

CRC1

I am a five year survivor. In reading the comments about food, my ca group has this saying 5 cups of fruits and veggies a day keeps the cancer away. I was raised with parents who had a garden every year, so is not as hard for me to eat them, but I do miss sweets any time I want them. But I do beans, peas, and then a colored vege, along with leaner meats, and wheat bread. I eat some onion with the meal for a little extra "kick." LOL