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35 year old husband just received diagnosis
I'm beyond devastated. It was only 2 weeks ago we were living the most full, happy, loving life. We've been married for only 9 months now and never anticipated he'd be diagnosed with Stage IV stomach cancer. The horrific prognosis we've seen all over the internet are making our worst fears feel more realistic. I feel like I'll never be ok again. Looking for stories of successful treatment and advice on how to function through this nightmare. I can't stop the crying from rage, sadness, fear, and the unfairness of it all. Please help however you can.
Comments
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Sorry to hear about the diagnosis, information found on Dr Google can cause anxiety, information from your husbands doctors should help. I just take it in one small piece at a time and one day at a time. I do get sad now and then. I am not good at giving advice, just trying to help. It is wise to educate yourself on the disease but it can cause stress. I wish you the best
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I'm sorry to hear about what you and your husband are going through. I've been fighting metastatic stomach cancer and cancer of the esophagus since January of 2018 and learned last week that it's back...My suggestion is for you and your husband to focus on putting together a qualified and experienced treatment team that you can trust starting with an Oncologist that can guide you. Hopefully you live in an area of the country where there is good medical care available. That along with a solid support system goes a long way in fighting this disease. I was not strong enough for chemo after having a total gastrectomy but I am now - and it's back. I hope you and your husband fight this with everything you have.
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I think the best that I can contribute is to tell my battle with Stomach Cancer and let you pick what information is helpful to you. My wife was a great help to me during my battle with Stomach Cancer is the first thing I can share.
Dr Google and the internet are not to be viewed as superior to your Oncologist.
I was diagnosed with Stage 3B Stomach Cancer in July of 2019 with a 2" x 1 1/4" fully adhered tumor in my stomach. At the time I was living in the Phoenix valley and went to an oncologist. I was an active healthy 70 year old who had good health otherwise and recent anemia leading to shortness of breath was the only thing that allowed me to discover this cancer.
My Oncologist had further diagnostic detail done and I was told that my treatment would be in 3 stages.
First I would have strong chemo in a four chemical cocktail called F.L.O.T. for the generic names of the chemo drugs and these would be administered by a port surgically implanted in my upper chest. I would get three of these chemicals during a four to six hour infusion bi-weekly with the day to end being sent home with a pump to inject chemo number four overnight and the pump removed the next day with hydration to follow up. My Doctor explained to me that there were going to be strong side effects but I was encouraged to decide how strong I wanted the formula. I told him to hit me with the strongest he thought I could tolerate and after the first series we even upped that by 10%. Over the next two months I was very sick with side effects which of course lasted beyond the infusion period.
Second, they planned to remove my stomach and nearby related lymph nodes. They had done ortho-scopic surgery to see if the adhered tumor had roots going beyond the stomach into the abdominal cavity and elsewhere and it did not. The stomach removal would have proceeded the same if the answer was different. I was fortunate to draw the Chief Oncological Surgeon at MD Anderson in Gilbert, Arizona who a great surgeon. My side effects required two months for me to rebuild my strength and be ready for surgery. I had some unusual and heretofore unknown cardiac irregularities which settled out after a week of concern. My total Gastrectomy was done and I was out of the hospital in six days. This is a serious surgery with risks for any age. The surgery went well and 15 lymph nodes were also removed but not my nearby spleen which was inspected and found uninfected. I received what was termed a Path C/R which I was told means a pathological complete response to the strong chemo which had given me a lot of suffering. The tumor wasn't' just dead -- it was gone leaving only a scar on the wall of my removed stomach and all 15 lymph nodes showed no sign of cancer.
Third it was planned that I have more FLOT but my side effects included dead nerves in my hands and feet with strong neuropathy and it was feared that my ability to walk and manual dexterity made repeated FLOT too dangerous so I took oral tablet chemo with even that being reduced in strength as it made all the skin peal off my hands and feet as well as other digestive problems. This combined with stomach removal caused me to loose over 80 pounds (220 at diagnosis) which took me from 6'1 209 pounds after surgery down to 133 pounds.
I then was given followup scans, Physical therapy for dexterity, and finished out 2020 learning how to eat without a stomach and hoping to regain some weight. Now one New Years day 2023, I am back up to 150 pounds, have moved across the country to be closer to family, 74 years of age doing yard work on 3/4 of an acre. It has been 2 years and 7 months since I rang the bell in my Oncologist's office at the followup to step three second round chemo pills and post CAT scan. It is also 3.5 years since my diagnosis.
I offer only the following advice:
A. Take the direction of your Oncologist for your specific case but also ask a lot of "what about.." questions.
B. Take the strongest Chemo you can endure.
C. Pray to God and be serious about it daily.
D. Share your innermost feelings and sufferings honestly.
E. Expect this battle to be tough but do not be defeatist or weak. Despite times of despair, saddle-up and get back on the horse if for nothing but those you love.
F. Give thanks that you can share this time with your family as people that die of cardiac problems, brain tumors and other causes get no time to settle loose ends and share their love and affection with their family.
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To WoofersMom
This voyage takes some time to travel but you don't have to be ignored or left waiting if you practice how to be persistent in a manner that doesn't harm you or hurt others.
As you get underway and have a bunch of things to share, post your own thread/discussion about your case/battle/journey and get various comments to take input from.
best regards,
Craig
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my 42 year old husband also recently diagnosed with stage 4. I know exactly how you’re feeling. If you’re a believer then just give your heart to the Lord. We have been praying and praying. We have a 12 year old son. My thoughts are not always positive but I surround myself with music and prayer and I hug my friends when I need to. Please reach out to vent sister. You are not alone
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As someone who went though stage 3 stomach cancer at 33 years old, I can somewhat relate. My wife and I (not married at the time but got engagned shortly after my diagnosis) went through the same hate, anger, feeling of it not being fair.
I was a dummer in a farily popular band and had been touring the world and had so much left for my future. Cancer stopped that and it wasn't fair.
It's 8 years out from that surgery, chemo, etc and i've found myself back again with stage 4 stomach cancer. The rage isn't that bad this time, it's more trying to find peace and how to create a new life with these set backs.
Life will never be the same and your husband will never be the same. Just know that a slient man in treatment is typically trying to not burden others. We tend to "push" through because that's what we were taught.
This is just from my experience but hope it can help show that there are ways to get through it, therapy helps.
https://www.instagram.com/stevenkopacz
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