Newly diagnosed and struggling mentally any positive thoughts would be helpful

CastlP
CastlP Member Posts: 7 Member
edited March 2022 in Kidney Cancer #1

Hello everyone! I’m new to the group with being diagnosed in January 2022 along with my surgery. Like many I’m struggling with constantly obsessing about my cancer. From when I wake up to when I go to bed it is overwhelming. My doctor gave me a really good prognosis and I realize others have it worse so please forgive me. Im still in a bad place mentally. Any comments would help. Thank You!

Comments

  • eug91
    eug91 Member Posts: 471 Member
    #2

    Welcome, CastlP. Sorry you had to join us, but I'm glad you did - this is a great forum here.

    First off, congrats on getting through your surgery. Hopefully you're slowly and steadily healing every day. And yes, your prognosis is great, so you have reason to be optimistic.

    As for the mental struggle you describe, all of us here have been through what you've been through, so we know you're going to get through it. I keep this bit of advice that FoxHD wrote a few years back about feeling down after your surgery-

    "This is something that comes up regularly. No one ever wants to be diagnosed with cancer. Kidney cancer was always a death sentence. We deal with the anxiety, surgery and recovery. Tremendous emotional stress. But at some point, something has to give. I think everyone goes through some sort of breakdown. What did we do to deserve this? Was it my fault? Am I going to die anyway? Maybe we are just so damn thankful. But it gets to us. Depression. Crying. Sense of hopelessness. Let it out. It is bad energy. Don't think you are weak. We have all been there too.


    You would be surprised to find out how many people seek counseling or require anti depressives at this point. If you need help keeping it together, talk to your doctor. It all comes with the territory. This is so much more than having a tooth pulled. You are doing great. It is just not quite over yet."

    We're with you. Stay on top of your follow-up scans and appointments. You've got this.

  • AliceB1950
    AliceB1950 Member Posts: 244 Member
    #3

    Hi, CastlP, Mine was also found incidentally, while I was getting a pre-op scan for breast cancer in 2018. Fun times! Actually, I take fun seriously. I got through all my appointments, tests, surgeries, and treatments that year by deliberately scheduling as many fun things as possible - exploring local and state parks, taking day trips with my spouse, even a few short vacations. It's a good thing to stockpile positive memories instead of just negative ones, and it gives you much better things to think about. If the weather's too lousy for outdoor activity, binge watch Bugs Bunny or anything that will make you laugh. It may sound frivolous, but I remember the fun stuff that year, much better than the medical dreariness.

  • Mmoses25
    Mmoses25 Member Posts: 326 Member
    #4
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/324833/newly-diagnosed-and-struggling-mentally-any-positive-thoughts-would-be-helpful

    Well I sorry you had to join the group but it’s a great group I m stage 3 and I use to obsess about my cancer too then one day I said I’m not going to let cancer win and I stop been great ever since I’m going on 2 years Ned and if something comes back I’ll deal with it you are in a great position go to your scans and like I say in my bio live life cancer sucks but you.will get thru this

  • Tobi
    Tobi Member Posts: 63 Member
    #5

    I completely understand, mine was found in July 2021 and removed August 2021 and between finding it and removing it I was a mess. No matter what I did my mind spent 100% of the time thinking of the what ifs. Since it was removed I have come to realize that my odds are fantastic. Mine was 3.5cm stage 1a grade 1, and my doc said 99% chance it won't come back. Mine was found incidentally, absolutely no symptoms, that is the part that really freaked me out. I have come to the conclusion though that instead of being scared and freaked out that I am fortunate, and everyday I am grateful for the good fortune I had in finding it early. I know everyone is different in how they deal with their diagnosis and upcoming scans/tests, this is how I have dealt with mine. Listening to my doc, and having the people on this forum to talk to have helped a lot and I am sure in time that your anxiety may lessen and you will find some peace.

  • CastlP
    CastlP Member Posts: 7 Member
    #6
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1694079#Comment_1694079
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1694084#Comment_1694084
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1694079#Comment_1694079

    Thank You Eug91

    I hope to get to the point you’re at with my diagnosis's mentally. It’s so kind of you to take time to respond with encouragement.

  • CastlP
    CastlP Member Posts: 7 Member
    #7
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1694080#Comment_1694080

    AliceB1950

    Great advice and thank you. It’s a new world for me now. It has changed. Lifetime of scans and worry. People are right it’s a mental disease as much as a disease of the body. Thank you for taking time out to respond to my post it was kind.

  • CastlP
    CastlP Member Posts: 7 Member
    #8
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1694085#Comment_1694085

    Tobi

    Thank you for posting a reply to my post. Sounds like your prognosis is really good and I’m super happy for you. I made the mistake after my diagnosis’s to go down the YouTube/Google hole. Don’t get me wrong I did find helpful info but a lot of bad or negative also. My doctor gave me a lot of positive news concerning my prognosis but the fear of what if’s are running the show currently. I appreciate you responding and taking time for me. It helps!

  • CastlP
    CastlP Member Posts: 7 Member
    #9
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1694084#Comment_1694084

    Mmoses25

    Im jealous of your mindset Mmoses25. I can only hope to get there. First thank you for responding. So awesome that people take time for others when they are dealing with their own issues. Also congratulations on the NED results! I’m a fighter for sure so I will keep moving on. Thanks again and future good health to you.

  • Tobi
    Tobi Member Posts: 63 Member
    #10
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1694097#Comment_1694097

    After reading your bio I thought we were similar (stage 1 low grade). I am hoping you find some peace, I know first hand the anxiety can be crippling. Look to what gives you comfort and hopefully that will help you find some peace.

  • Deanie0916
    Deanie0916 Member Posts: 628 Member
    #11

    Hi sorry you're in this place. I find humor and positive input helps a lot. Humor gets me through a lot of fear and anxiety. So happy for the good prognosis!

  • AliceB1950
    AliceB1950 Member Posts: 244 Member
    #12
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1694104#Comment_1694104

    I'm sorry about your wife. That may explain a lot about your feelings about cancer. As for me, I've never NOT felt fine, because early stage cancers like yours and like mine are really more of an inconvenience than anything else. Except for the surgery and follow-up scans, my life is the same as it was before. Yeah, I fall into the Google hole occasionally, but I do that on all kinds of medical and non-medical topics.

  • Davlyn
    Davlyn Member Posts: 2 Member
    #13

    Hi,

    i stumbled across this site tonight (here in the UK) and after reading some of the comments, I finally decided to open up about my own experience which began I. Oct 2018. Went to the toilet and passed blood -not urine and ws

  • Davlyn
    Davlyn Member Posts: 2 Member
    #14

    Sorry pressed the wrong button!! Was admitted to hospital that day. Following day, scans and ultra sound revealed large mass on right kidney which was removed 4 weeks later. Needless to say I was still in shock and reeling a bit as it all happened so quickly… apparently because I was on blood thinners for a heart condition, it caused the kidney to bleed and…. The rest is history. However, I was told about 3 months later that it had already spread to my lungs! Hey Ho, what the hell, I had survived the surgery so onward and upwards, let’s have some meds. In between all this the wound ( I looked like the Caesarian. Scar was in the wrong place, but after all I am male, refused to heal as a result of me having Diabetes and nurses were poking gauges into it each day, but they were really nice about it!even so it still b****y hurt - the result of it is that I am still here, on Sunitinib, 4 weeks on 2 weeks off, which causes havoc with my appetite, psoriasis, joints and many other things - the side effects cover about 4 A4 pages and not one to be left out I have quite a few.

    anyway onto the reason for my post - and why I found your forum. I was playing golf - military golf, left, right, left, fight - oh look it went straight - and I distinctly recall it was the par 5 7th ( there I go again,

    ) but on following through with my swing I distinctly felt something ‘give’ right where my scar is. Like all men I carried on as if it didn’t hurt and now whenever it seems to be getting just right, off it goes again. My question firstly is, has anyone had anything similar? And secondly to all those ‘going through it’

    i’m here 3.5 years on, Scans showing that the Chemo is holding, and with just the side effects to worry about. I know this may sound a bit flippant, but my sense of humour keeps me going and always remember, there’s always some poor devil, worse off than you, even though at the time it may not seem like it. To all my fellow sufferers, my sincere best wishes and good luck for your outcomes and remember - tears can be of joy. Thanks for reading. 12 Match 2022.

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