Nearing the end- grieving already

Ashleyjan7

Hi everyone,

My mom has been battling stage IV uterine cancer since Sept 2020. Her original treatment gave us positive results for 7 months before it stopped working. She then started Keytruda/Lenvima which did nothing and the cancer spread. She’s now on her third line treatment (Doxil) and is doing worse than ever. She has a Petscan tomorrow but we already can tell it is not working and she is shutting down. She has a follow up with her oncologist on Saturday but we already are anticipating what we will be told: that this is the end of the line.

i live in Buffalo, NY and she and her husband moved to outside Tucson, AZ for a job she has no longer been able to do since her diagnosis. My brother also lives there but has been planning on moving back to Buffalo but has put that on hold to help out with our mom. I’ve been out to visit as much as I can but with the pandemic it’s certainly made things more difficult. My mom really wants to move back home and my husband has offered up our house for her and her husband to stay in. We plan on asking her oncologist if he thinks it would be safe for her to travel here. If so, she will be staying with us. I know this is her last wish but I’m terrified if it happens. Twenty five years ago my grandfather (her father) passed away from cancer in our home. Now my mom will be passing away in my home also from cancer. I’m so unbelievably afraid of losing her and living in a world without her. How am I even going to cope with the possibility of it happening in my home? Ever since my grandpa’s passing I have been utterly terrified of cancer. Now that my worst nightmare is coming true, how am I going to get through this again?