Cheating wife...

cyberchandler

Just wanted to reach out and see if anyone else has gone through infidelity after diagnosis. I am currently separated due to my wife (ill leave calling her by the other 'w' word out of this), cheating on me with someone I called a friend. We have had a 28 year relationship, and married for 25 years at the time that I caught them. I am terminal, and am confused on whey she couldn't just wait? In my further investigation, I learned that they used a support weekend for me, as an excuse to get together, and start building a new life, and future together. Her excuse was my cancer. She **** blamed me!! Additionally, after watching hours of Ring camera footage, I learned that there was no remorse, only discussions of what they'll get when I'm gone. She tells people that I walked out on her and the family. I also found out that these two engaged in a relationship when I was on deployment. Luckily, my support system is strong, but I need some other takes on if this has happened to anyone else. I am stage 4 colon, all traditional treatments have failed and im on my 2nd clinical trial. Any words of wisdom?

SnapDragon2

Change life insurance policies ect beneficiary. Find out if she has any on you by calling all of them.

If you have children, leave everything to them.

Change you medical power of attorney to someone you can trust.

Have your last wishes spelled out.

Make all of this fool proof, written in stone by a lawyer and stamped.

CancerFreeSunny

You can trust her about as much as a train derailing on the train tracks and headed right for you! 🤢

Show the RING conversations to your attorney and fight to get her off your will (if that's possible)

CYA (Cover Your A**) while you are still here and can control how you want to go out in life. I hope she does not get her grimy, greedy hands on your possessions. I iwsh you the very best. I say fight! fight! to make things the way you need them to be. :)

SandiaBuddy

Many of the issues that come to the surface during stressful times have existed for years before without our being aware of them.

CFS's thoughts about getting your paperwork in order are useful. You certainly want a trusted person to be able to make health care decisions for you if you are unable to make them yourself. Absent an election in a durable power of attorney or similar document, the default decider could be your spouse, and it sounds as if that would not be your choice.

It might make sense to consult an attorney promptly to explore what your options are in these circumstances. And it may not hurt to also keep your options open for having a frank and open discussion with your spouse of 2.5 decades about what is going on and why. Despite the recent turmoil, there was a reason you chose to be with her.

Finally, you might consider meditation as a tool in these tough times. Some of us find the techniques useful in dealing with stressful issues. Your time may be limited, and you should consider what you want to spend your precious moments doing.

A very simple book I found helpful during cancer treatment is: You Are Here - Google Books

AttikusFinch

It is really crucial to realize that one of the closest people in your life betrayed you, especially when you are in a such hard situation.

Chris2328

So sorry. Gather people around you who love and support you. Consider engaging a death doula to support your end stage journey. I hope that you can focus on what you need now. That is a tough thing to have to accept. Get help.

fordmicah

I am so sorry to hear about this. I'd echo what others have said above.

CancerFreeSunny

My friend heard her mother and her brother plotting against her on RING camera. It sure opens your eyes when you hear someone talking about you and they don't know they are being recorded. ....I am so sorry to hear what is happening with you. PROTECT your assets! See an attorney. Find out you can do!