Adult son anxious, depressed, sleepless after completing treatment and likely "cured" of testicular

IrishColleen

Hello all.  My son is 32, married with 3 kiddos, a successful businessman, always very happy, healthy, active and athletic.  He found a lump and was quickly dx with testicular cancer.  Had quick surgery, bleeding complication, another surgery, and a round of Cisplatin and Bleomycin chemo with all of the awful side effects. This happened this past winter, so he has had 2 clear check ups since then.  The problem is that he is no longer the happy guy he used to be.  He is plagued by anxiety, insomnia, constant cancer thoughts.  Everything he feels...every twinge, turns fatalistic.  He is sure that cancer is taking over his body...everywhere!  He has little patience for the kiddos shenanigans and the change in his parenting is really why I'm posting.  We spent the last week together, on a family vacation, and I noticed how changed he really is.  I finally told him and his wife that I thought he should talk to someone about trying to change his internal dialog direction to more positive thoughts.  He now has an appointment to start with someone recommended by his oncology team.  How can I help?  What kind of conversation does he need?  Are there any good self help books?  He isn't a "group" kind of guy so I don't think he'd go to a support group.  Any help would be appreciated, or if there is a good thread already here that I should read, let me know.  Not even sure what to search.

Abby76

Emotions

I wish I had an answer for you but I don't.  I have been cancer free for 2 years according to CT scans.  Your description of your son describes me to a tee.  Probably the best thing you can do is listen.  There is no way someone who has never had cancer can understand.  What I think would be the best help for me is to find someone else who has cancer and become a friend.  Someone I can talk to about everyday stuff and someone to talk to when I have a cancer thought.  I have tried the programs where you can contact someone who has been through cancer.  I didn't care for these the people were good and nice to talk to but the only  thing we had in common was cancer and I didn't want to just talk about that all the time.