Scared and Confussed

JTCLMC2021 Member Posts: 1 Member
edited September 2022 in Caregivers #1

My wife was diagnosed with Vulvar cancer about a month ago and im still trying to process everything,  im angry, im scared, i dont know what to do,,, anyone have any advice?


  • DanNH
    DanNH Member Posts: 184 Member
    edited August 2021 #2
    The shock of the diagnosis

    The shock of the diagnosis lasted about a month or more for us. My wife was diagnosed as stage 4 colon cancer. What you are feeling is probably what every person who ever joined this forum felt. It was constant despair and anguish. As we moved from diagnosis to treatment the reality of our new lives set in. We found a lot of support on the forums and in chat on this site. For me I found that the time I spent learning about her cancer and treatments gave us options and a break from constantly thinking about our situation, how unfair it was, and what it means looking forward. 

    Life has taken on a rhythm that evolves around treatments and work, which is a chance to have a distraction from cancer for a while. I was very angry as well. I was also scared all of the time and shed a lot of tears. I still am sometimes. Everything is something to worry about. I still go through periods of sadness followed by hope. We are about 6 months in and the initial constant bombardment of increasingly bad news has given way to positive progress in reducing the disease. What will it look like in another six months is known only to God. 

    In answer to your questions it is normal to feel like you do. What was previously important is probably different from what is important now. Let the people who offer to help do something to help if you can, particularly people close to you  They have a need to do something and you can help them fulfill that need.  We have become stronger in our faith and our relationship with God. 

    What has happened to your wife and your family and you is grossly unfair and it is tragic. In time you will get over the shock of it and get into treatments and keep on living and fighting. Get on chat some time  Things get going around 9:00pm EST. You will become acquainted with friends you haven't met yet who will understand what you are going through  because they have been through it. Talking about it will help you through this.

    Best wishes to you and your wife. Fee

    l free to private message me if you like.



  • jcabello02
    jcabello02 Member Posts: 2 *

    My bestfriend also has cancer, stage 2 cervical cancer and its scary to try to understand what shes going through, i know shes strong and she is using her spiritual journey to help her get through this without chemo or medication.

  • Mbae
    Mbae Member Posts: 2 Member


    I hope your wife is doing well. I also suffer from the same cancer. As a partner please understand this cancer is scary and can be painful. You may go through physical and emotional changes. All you can do is be there and be the best partner you can be. Support can be one of the greatest medicines.