My Beau, my love-- died this morning from his Stage IV HNSCC

LitlCJdoll

Hello forum,

This morning at 3:15am, my Everyday, constant love died from his metastatic head & neck cancer.  His caregiver texted me at 3:45am.

Randal was 60 years old. 6'2" tall, very handsome. Vice President of a small company a Software Engineer/ Programmer when he was first hit with CLL Leukemia in 2012. It was Stage IV leukemia. He continued to work while getting chemotherapy for 2 years, which put it into remission.

But then he got hit with the devil of all cancers, HNSCC. Base of tongue, so they started Cisplatin/ 35 radiation treatments. Even though his was HPV Positive, it quickly metastasized to his Liver ( 6+ tumors there ) , his Gall Bladder, a vertebrae in spine, and left hip bone. They had him on Keytruda, it did shrink some tumors but within 3 months of completing the treatment, they were growing again. So then a full course of Optivo , with exactly same results, tumors were growing again within months. So then on to Taxol with Carboplatin.  That was too harsh so only Taxol.  Then half dose Tsxol.....Then Gemzar infusions. Finally as a last shot in the dark, Xeloda .

Xeloda wss the one that literally stripped Randal of all quality of life. He took it for months...but last week, he decided to stop it. Then he reluctantly joined Hospice in hopes of his last months being more pain free, with some comfort. I am sparing all of you the details of our last months, because I really don't want to write it tonight, after losing him this morning.....

 

Alas, Randal couldn't even make it , to getting any benefit from Hospice.  The ambulance was called Monday, and he already had a DNR order in effect.

I just posted about my current lung problems, E. Coli pneumonia, Bonchiectasis/ COPD directly caused by my cancer, causing me to aspirate Everything and damage from 5 previous Pneumonia, all since my diagnosis...,  my weight down to 70.3 pounds.  100% dependent on my feeding pump. Now, I have to go on without my Other Half.

How do I do this?

 

That's all I can write for now... Crystal 

wbcgaruss

Dear Crystal

You have my deepest sympathy and condolences. Randal fought a courageous battle against this horrible disease he did his best. I am praying you will have strength, courage, and comfort in this difficult time. I am sorry there has been another weight added to the load you are already carrying. Take Care-God Bless-Russ

Logan51

Condolences

Sorry to hear Crystal. How do you do this? As Randal would want you to. I know it's a major hit to your life, but you have your own issues to take care of. amd I'm sure Randal would want you to keep on keeping on.

motorcycleguy

Crystal,

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. As Logan says - I'm sure Randal would want you to keep hanging on!

I send condolences and all the good thoughts I can muster.

Curt