New to caregiving

marcie78 Member Posts: 1
edited April 2022 in Caregivers #1



I am new to this site and new to being a caregiver for someone with cancer. My mom has had two types if cancer in the last year. First she had lung cancer, which they removed part of her lung for that one and it is totaly gone but it was surgery and done. Now she is battling esphogeal cancer and this time she has to two chemo and radiation and then possibly surgery. I have had to help with tube feeing, which she is off for now, showers, dressing changes for were the tube is. I do not mind doing this at all but i got to my breaking point last week. I also work full time from home which i share with my parents. I just needed a break and met my friend for dinner but then i feel guily about leaving her and her not being able to see her friends. I get a little shor tempered with her sometimes and feel guily about that. Does that go away? I am guessing not. I am sitting here in tears writing this becasue of a few bad days. How do you deal with the guilt? 


  • a_oaklee
    a_oaklee Member Posts: 566 Member
    edited February 2021 #2

    Think of "breaks" as the "medicine" that you need.  You will be so much more caring and loving and patient, if you give yourself time away.  You are doing it for yourself to be better for her.  No guilt.

  • GabrielleHunter
    GabrielleHunter Member Posts: 1
    edited February 2021 #3
    Welcome. Try to value

    Welcome. Try to value yourself more.There are very few people like you, you are very kind and caring to her, but please think about yourself, you should also have a personal life. You can't give yourself up entirely for another person. You don't have to blame yourself for anything!

  • VG
    VG Member Posts: 5 Member
    edited March 2021 #4
    Me too

    You are a wonderful person for taking on that role of caregiver. You also are a person with needs as well who needs to replenish what has been given out in your workday and caregiving. A person should not give and give and give without taking proper time to replenish themselves. Otherwise you will be of no use or much less good use at your job and for your mother because you will be tired, feel isolated with no one to talk to and impatient or angry. You are fulfilling this role the best you can with all your energy but just remeber too, that you need to keep yourself at your best to help others.

  • Mrsyohen
    Mrsyohen Member Posts: 8 Member
    edited March 2021 #5
    There’s goods and not so good days.

    Hope you’re feeling much better Marcie.  Take time out for yourself and don’t feel guilty.  Rejuvenate and back to it. Take care.