I've recovered from chemo. Now what?


I'm flailing around looking for help, apparently.  I just can't figure out what to do now, how to handle the pressures I'm feeling.  I need to get a job.  I want to do something that matters.  I want to be myself fearlessly (thinking specifically of my identity as a nonbinary transgender person here).  And I want to help others.  Ideally, I could figure out how to do all of those at once with the right job, but after looking for months and being rejected over and over, I'm having trouble persisting.  But if I don't have a job and a level of mental health/function to keep doing it, then I have trouble thinking about much else.  I can't believe I survived cancer to be living like this.  I know all kinds of people are struggling with all kinds of things, and I just need to keep going, but I'm having trouble figuring out how.  I've tried therapy, medication... but I need something else.  I'm not religious and don't seem capable of believing in such things; I've explored some philosophy and spiritual thought, and maybe that helps with thoughts about how to live in general and be less afraid of death, but I'm having trouble figuring out what to do specifically from one moment to the next.  It feels like there's this endless pile of things to do, unclear priorities, and a feeling that I have less time left than others my age would generally hope to have.


  • ChelseyONCRNNurseNav
    ChelseyONCRNNurseNav Member Posts: 3
    edited November 2020 #2

    First of All, congrats on obtaining survivorship! That is an awesome feat in itself! I am so happy for you. So navigating this new version of yourself is tough because for the last few years you've soley been dedicated to treatments and appointments and battling cancer. It is easy to feel lost after that, know you are not alone, alot of people feel this way. What are some of your interests and hobbies you had before diagnoses? Are those things that you can plug back into? Also Luckily this time of year has alot of PT seasonal jobs to try out before diving into a career type role maybe try something like that. I also might look into local Boys and Girls Clubs, many of them are in need of finding someone with your background for kids to look up to and connect with. This might be something to explore. 


    Hope this is helpful,