How to help husband


Good Morning all.  Long story short, my husband  (age 53) was diagnosed with colon cancer stage 3B  3 1/2 years ago.  Did the chemo treatments.  Caused severe neuropathy in feet causing him to have trouble walking even today.  In March scans and blood work normal.  In September golf ball size tumor and blood work crazy.  This time tumor not in colon but grew outside near where resection occurred previously.   Had surgery New Years Eve.  Was supposed to be robotic but when surgeon got in there, tumor had grown and attached itself to his ureter.  She had to open him up.  We met with surgeon last week and she told us that it was in lymph nodes again and radial margin at site where tumor was separated from ureter which told us means she got as much as she could. She said she scraped and scraped but couldn't get it all. We meet with the oncologist later this week to see what now. In the meantime, my husband is convinced that 1, he'll be having repeat surgery in 6 months since it grew so fast in 6 months, or 2, that he'll be dead in a year. Has anyone with colon cancer ever had their tumor do this and how do I help him. I'm a positive person or try to be to help him but it's hard. He has become so negative right now, which I really understand. I just wish I could do something for him. I've asked and asked him to find support groups but he won't so I thought I would to see if I could help. Thank you all for any advice.


  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,800 Member
    Hello and welcome to the forum

    I am sorry to read that your husband has a recurrance after what must have been three wonderful years NED.  Just when you start putting it behind you, it is devestating to find out you're back in the game.  My heart hurts for him, and for you. 

    It is terribly discouraging, and a natural feeling to have. But, it is not good to let it get the better of you, and I hope your husband will start to look ahead to a more positive future. 

    We do have members of the forum who have been NED for a long time, and had one or even more recurrances. I will let them speak for themselves, I just wanted to welcome you and let you know that we can support you and through your, your husband as you move ahead. 

    My recurrance was almost on the heels of treatment, and even though I never, and will never, allow myself to think 'cured' or 'Cancer free', it was still a hard blow; so I can only begin to imagine how much harder it would be when you have enjoyed so many more years with good scans and blood work.