I Could Use Someone to Talk Too...

Verge

Hello All,

If you don't mind, I'm going to cut right to the chase...

I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer nine months ago, nine months to the day, in fact...

I was told that I had one malignant tumour on the left side of my thyroid and two nodules on the right.

Six months ago, to the day, I had surgery to remove my thyroid and the three attached nodules.

Five months ago I found out that I actually had two malignant tumours; the one on the left side, plus one of the nodules on the right...

I'm doing okay-ish. I've gone back to work, the drugs are working and I've had nothing but positive news on negative results...

So, it should be all good, right?

I should be all positive and smiles, because nothing's really wrong, right?

Instead, I'm here, on this forum, having trouble coming to terms with the fact that I'm a "cancer survivor"...

 

Thanks for any input & advice,

GS

sydknee

Hello RSWRossman!

I'm sorry if I am late to respond to this post. I actually created an account to respond to this.

February 2020 will be my 2nd anniversary of my thyroid cancer diagnosis. I had my thyroid removed March 2018 and went through radioactive iodine treatment in July 2018. My thyroid was riddled with tumors. I had one that was around 3 inches long and several smaller ones. I was lucky that it didn't spread to my lymph nodes, but I still have to go back every couple of months for an ultrasound to check on them.

You were able to put how I feel into words about coming to terms about being a survivor. In my experience, after being cured and going back to normal life was weird. I have always hated calling myself a cancer survivor and have really felt it hard to identify with, mainly because I am young and going through the treatment felt less like a battle and more like rolling with the punches. I'll be going through my normal day and then I'll have a random thought like "wow I had cancer, that's crazy". I have a sash hanging on my wall from Relay for Life that says survivor on it, but I don't feel like one.

You don't have to be all positive and all smiles about it. I tried so hard to make everything seem like I was ok while going through it and even afterwards. I cope with humor, so I try and laugh it off and make jokes even though talking about it puts me on the verge of tears. Anyways, what I am trying to say is don't force yourself to feel happy if you don't feel that way and don't try to shame yourself for not being happy. You have already been through enough pain and shouldn't beat yourself up over it. Overtime, I think you will grow to accept your survivorship status. That's what I am trying to do. I feel like the best way to do that is to talk to others and share your experience. Unfortunately, there aren't many in person youth groups near me, so that's how I found myself on here. I have also recently made more of an effort to take care of myself after having cancer because I am starting to realize that I am worth all the pain and trouble I went through and that my experience has shaped me into the person I am today.

I am glad to hear that you have been cured and doing alright. I haven't found anyone that I could relate to about my cancer experience, so it's nice to find someone who understands. If you ever need anything, feel free to message me!

-sydknee

annie4145

I have always been a pretty

I have always been a pretty positive person through my whole life.  I got divorced about 10 years ago, and changed jobs, lost a job, etc, and always was able to bounce back and fairly optimistic although there were times that I was not happy with how my life was going.  But cancer itself thew me into a depression that I hadn't experienced before.  I found anti-depressants to help bring me to a more stable place.  (I never thought I would take them, but they did help).  Now I am 1year post treatment, doing well, pretty content with my life, and have a lot more energy to involve myself in doing things.  If you don't want to take any medicine, there may be some other things that you could do, like mindfulness meditation.  And get plenty of sleep and just be nice to yourself because it has been a stressful year for you.  there has been alot which you have been through and a year, or maybe even longer is just what it takes sometimes  to feel normal  again.

Dagney1924

annie4145 said:

I have always been a pretty

I have always been a pretty positive person through my whole life.  I got divorced about 10 years ago, and changed jobs, lost a job, etc, and always was able to bounce back and fairly optimistic although there were times that I was not happy with how my life was going.  But cancer itself thew me into a depression that I hadn't experienced before.  I found anti-depressants to help bring me to a more stable place.  (I never thought I would take them, but they did help).  Now I am 1year post treatment, doing well, pretty content with my life, and have a lot more energy to involve myself in doing things.  If you don't want to take any medicine, there may be some other things that you could do, like mindfulness meditation.  And get plenty of sleep and just be nice to yourself because it has been a stressful year for you.  there has been alot which you have been through and a year, or maybe even longer is just what it takes sometimes  to feel normal  again.

I had surgery on my mouth and

I had surgery on my mouth and neck in October. Just had early stage cancer cells on mouth floor, none in lymph nodes but had removed as a precaution. 

Then 3 weeks ago they found a few cells under my tongue so did a minor surgery to remove. I wish I knew the side effects before I went into this, as I don't 

Think I would have done all that. I thought since I caught early it would be easy. But I spend every day miserable from lymphedema, and my tongue swells and is numb so I cant speak

Or eat very well. I spend a lot of time crying. I'm not even a survivor yet, but if it comes back I won't do anything to get rid of it. 

annie4145

Dagney1924 said:

I had surgery on my mouth and

I had surgery on my mouth and neck in October. Just had early stage cancer cells on mouth floor, none in lymph nodes but had removed as a precaution. 

Then 3 weeks ago they found a few cells under my tongue so did a minor surgery to remove. I wish I knew the side effects before I went into this, as I don't 

Think I would have done all that. I thought since I caught early it would be easy. But I spend every day miserable from lymphedema, and my tongue swells and is numb so I cant speak

Or eat very well. I spend a lot of time crying. I'm not even a survivor yet, but if it comes back I won't do anything to get rid of it. 

sometimes it takes a while to

sometimes it takes a while to heal.  Hang in there!  Is there any possibility of your symptoms will become better with time.  It is a battle...

Verge

Dagney1924 said:

I had surgery on my mouth and

I had surgery on my mouth and neck in October. Just had early stage cancer cells on mouth floor, none in lymph nodes but had removed as a precaution. 

Then 3 weeks ago they found a few cells under my tongue so did a minor surgery to remove. I wish I knew the side effects before I went into this, as I don't 

Think I would have done all that. I thought since I caught early it would be easy. But I spend every day miserable from lymphedema, and my tongue swells and is numb so I cant speak

Or eat very well. I spend a lot of time crying. I'm not even a survivor yet, but if it comes back I won't do anything to get rid of it. 

Your Surgery

Hello,

What your going through sounds truely awful...

I can sympathize, but not completly empathize because what you're going through isn't the same as what I went through. And, even if I had had the same thing happen, it would've been different, because I'm not you. But, even though our situations are different, I can give some time, lend an ear and a virtual shoulder to cry on. 

Take care,

VWR

Verge

annie4145 said:

sometimes it takes a while to

sometimes it takes a while to heal.  Hang in there!  Is there any possibility of your symptoms will become better with time.  It is a battle...

Time To Heal

Hi,

Thank you for your kind reply. 

I have started to feel better. But, I do admit that sometimes it wold be nice to take it easy, instead of fighting a battle. Oh, well. At least I know that I have a place and people to turn to when I need some advice. 

Thanks again!

Regards,

VWR

Verge

sydknee said:

Hello RSWRossman!

I'm sorry if I am late to respond to this post. I actually created an account to respond to this.

February 2020 will be my 2nd anniversary of my thyroid cancer diagnosis. I had my thyroid removed March 2018 and went through radioactive iodine treatment in July 2018. My thyroid was riddled with tumors. I had one that was around 3 inches long and several smaller ones. I was lucky that it didn't spread to my lymph nodes, but I still have to go back every couple of months for an ultrasound to check on them.

You were able to put how I feel into words about coming to terms about being a survivor. In my experience, after being cured and going back to normal life was weird. I have always hated calling myself a cancer survivor and have really felt it hard to identify with, mainly because I am young and going through the treatment felt less like a battle and more like rolling with the punches. I'll be going through my normal day and then I'll have a random thought like "wow I had cancer, that's crazy". I have a sash hanging on my wall from Relay for Life that says survivor on it, but I don't feel like one.

You don't have to be all positive and all smiles about it. I tried so hard to make everything seem like I was ok while going through it and even afterwards. I cope with humor, so I try and laugh it off and make jokes even though talking about it puts me on the verge of tears. Anyways, what I am trying to say is don't force yourself to feel happy if you don't feel that way and don't try to shame yourself for not being happy. You have already been through enough pain and shouldn't beat yourself up over it. Overtime, I think you will grow to accept your survivorship status. That's what I am trying to do. I feel like the best way to do that is to talk to others and share your experience. Unfortunately, there aren't many in person youth groups near me, so that's how I found myself on here. I have also recently made more of an effort to take care of myself after having cancer because I am starting to realize that I am worth all the pain and trouble I went through and that my experience has shaped me into the person I am today.

I am glad to hear that you have been cured and doing alright. I haven't found anyone that I could relate to about my cancer experience, so it's nice to find someone who understands. If you ever need anything, feel free to message me!

-sydknee

Thank You

Hello,

 

Thank you for writting, I really appreaciate it.

I agree and understand. I'm also going to say is it’s okay….

 

 

 

 

If you want to eat as much of your favourite food, and drink your favourite drink, it's okay.

 

If you want to stay in bed all day, reading, or sleeping, it’s okay.

 

If you want to curl up on the couch in your favorite robe and slippers, and binge watch whatever’s on The Food Network, it’s okay.

 

Whatever you want to do, it’s okay.

 

 

 

This is your experience, your battle and you have to fight it, whichever way works best for you.

 

I hope this helps and I’m here if you want to talk…

 

Kind regards,

VWR

Verge

annie4145 said:

I have always been a pretty

I have always been a pretty positive person through my whole life.  I got divorced about 10 years ago, and changed jobs, lost a job, etc, and always was able to bounce back and fairly optimistic although there were times that I was not happy with how my life was going.  But cancer itself thew me into a depression that I hadn't experienced before.  I found anti-depressants to help bring me to a more stable place.  (I never thought I would take them, but they did help).  Now I am 1year post treatment, doing well, pretty content with my life, and have a lot more energy to involve myself in doing things.  If you don't want to take any medicine, there may be some other things that you could do, like mindfulness meditation.  And get plenty of sleep and just be nice to yourself because it has been a stressful year for you.  there has been alot which you have been through and a year, or maybe even longer is just what it takes sometimes  to feel normal  again.

Thank You

Hello,

Thank you for your advice...

It is taking some time to get used to this new normal. But, I'm starting to give myself some time.

Regards and take care,

VWR