Mojo and "Hope"

Trubrit

JanJan63 said:

Dave, you made me all misty.

Dave, you made me all misty. That's beautiful! I love it! I associate my mom with hummingbirds. 

Jan

Mine are inanimate objects

I have spoons that my mum used for baking. When I use them, I am with her.  I just this moment washed a roasting pan that my dear Bert used.  I have several things like this, that bring them close to me. 

We all have something special, and our loved ones know it. 

Tru

ellend

Beautiful stories

I believe our loved ones who have passed are watching over us. The legend goes that cardinals are a sign of loved ones who have returned giving us a sign. Its even more meaningful when animals who were dear to your loved ones show themselves to you. I hope these signs give you strength and hope to get through the surgery. We will all be praying, cheering or otherwise pulling for you in our own special ways. Good luck with your upcoming surgery.

Ellen

ellend

JanJan63 said:

I adore your attitude, thank

I adore your attitude, thank you! I think I'm different but not necessarily in a good way. I'm more positive than I was and am grateful for every day rather than Just accepting Im alive and not being grateful, which is normal when you arent' facing something like this. But while I have more compassion for some things, I have less compassion and patience for other things. Whining about something trivial? Don't bother me with it. I used to say my cancer does not lessen other people's problems but that's changed. I don't want to see on facebook someone whining about their sniffles, or how they got stuck in traffic, or whatever minor crap they like to get pity for. I have compassion for people who deserve it or need it but I don't have the time or patience for whining about silly things that happen to everyone.

I also can't stand it when someone has cancer as their identity. A couple of years before my dignosis a woman I knew had breast cancer. Everyone she met was told about it within minutes of meeting her. Their reaction was always how strong she was and she basked in that adulation. She was a warrior! And all that crap. She'd do things like she met a well known horse clinician and immediately told him. It was embarassing.

People who just met you don't care and don't know what to say when you bring it up. I refuse to be identified by my cancer. It is not me and will not define me. I don't want people to know and then pretend to be impressed. The only time I mention it is if I'm struggling and someone asks if I'm okay and I'll say I'm not well and they start talking about how I probably have the flu that's going around. I'll say I have cancer so I don't have to listen to the suggested cures for it. But the last thing I want is pity.

Almost half of us will get the diagnosis of cancer in our lifetime. It's not some exclusive, special club. There's nothing unique about us. We do our treatments and cope however we can, just like everyone else that has it. I'm me, I'm not the woman with cancer. I am but that's not how I want people to look at me.

Anyway, I'm off my rant. I hope we all can beat this or at least live with it. It sucks but it is what it is. We're still here and will make the best of it. I'll be looking forward to your posts!

Jan

I agree with you Jan

JanJan

I certainly don't want cancer to define me either and was not sure what to say to even friends and family. I didn't want people to treat me any differently, didn't want their pity or to be shunned because they didn't know what to say. I also didn't want unsolicitied advice on alternative treatments that they haven't had any experience with (I got that from a few well meaning friends).That being said, I appreciated the experiences and explanations from those people who were using alternative medicine that seemed to benefit them.

I had some wonderful friends who related positive stories of survivalship of their own cancer experiences or those of their close friends and relatives. Those were the conversations that I cherish. Whenever I start to feel a bit sorry for myself I remind myself there are others on this board who are going through a lot more than I have and I feel grateful for each day I am considered NED.

I wish you all the best in your journey going forward and you will be in my thoughts. With all you have and are still going through, you have been been helpful and supportive to others on this path.

Ellen

Kazenmax

beaumontdave said:

A wonderful thread M, and

A wonderful thread M, and your tale of the hawk made me remember my own magic moment. Cindy collected flamingos and butterfly ornaments for the front yard and wall of the house. When we'd work on some project or in the yard, and would finish up by late afternoon, we'd sit and drink a few beers as a reward, and as a moment to just be together. After she passed [Apr. 30th], I didn't feel like doing a damn thing since she wasn't there and what was the point in anything? By June the yard was an overgrown mess, lawn, bushes and trees. One Saturday I finally felt like tackling the jungle, and went at it all day, finishing around 6ish on a beautiful, warm evening, Sitting down with a cold beer and a long missing sense of satisfaction, I relaxed cross-legged only to have this beautiful Painted-Lady butterfly land on my knee. It sat there folding and unfolding it's wings while I sipped and stared, amazed at how calmly it stayed for what must have been several minutes, Then it flew to the front part of my shoulder as I called out "Cindy?" It gave me a long look and finally took off up until I lost it above the big Mimosa tree. my eyes and my heart were full, even though my head said coincidence, and as much as I hold with logic and science as my guides to what I believe in and about this life and our world, Ihold that moment as a special goodbye for me and the love of my life. As an interesting postscript I just looked up the butterfly's name to get it right and Google showed the picture with a Wiki paragraph mentioning that the subgenus of these colorful butterflies was known as the Cynthia Group. Wow, I've gotten that magical feeling all over again................................................................Dave

I love this.

I love this.

We have been lucky as a family. My Mom passed in 1992 and we did not have another loved one part until November 2015 when my beloved sister-in-law passed. It was right before I was diagnosed. I remember that at her memorial, for some odd reason I felt I was next.   I felt something ominous.

The next day I was driving home and I saw an owl in a tree on the side of the road. I remember thinking right away of Wendy. it gave me such a warm feeling. later that week I looked up the significance of seeing an owl in the middle of the day and yes, it is a sign of a passed loved one. I am not necessarily a spiritual person but I felt like it was a sign. She gives me strength to this day. I’ve never met a stronger woman. She died of pancreatic  cancer. it was so quick we hardly got our heads around it and she was gone. I got the chance to tell her that I loved her and I treasure that.

peace to you all.

k

mojogirl67

SandiaBuddy said:

Prep and Surgery

Good luck with the prep and upcoming surgery.  We are all pulling for you, respecting your spirit and hoping for the best possible outcome.

Thank you!

I sure hope to add many more hikes to the list as you have..truly appreciate the encouragement!

mojogirl67

beaumontdave said:

A wonderful thread M, and

A wonderful thread M, and your tale of the hawk made me remember my own magic moment. Cindy collected flamingos and butterfly ornaments for the front yard and wall of the house. When we'd work on some project or in the yard, and would finish up by late afternoon, we'd sit and drink a few beers as a reward, and as a moment to just be together. After she passed [Apr. 30th], I didn't feel like doing a damn thing since she wasn't there and what was the point in anything? By June the yard was an overgrown mess, lawn, bushes and trees. One Saturday I finally felt like tackling the jungle, and went at it all day, finishing around 6ish on a beautiful, warm evening, Sitting down with a cold beer and a long missing sense of satisfaction, I relaxed cross-legged only to have this beautiful Painted-Lady butterfly land on my knee. It sat there folding and unfolding it's wings while I sipped and stared, amazed at how calmly it stayed for what must have been several minutes, Then it flew to the front part of my shoulder as I called out "Cindy?" It gave me a long look and finally took off up until I lost it above the big Mimosa tree. my eyes and my heart were full, even though my head said coincidence, and as much as I hold with logic and science as my guides to what I believe in and about this life and our world, Ihold that moment as a special goodbye for me and the love of my life. As an interesting postscript I just looked up the butterfly's name to get it right and Google showed the picture with a Wiki paragraph mentioning that the subgenus of these colorful butterflies was known as the Cynthia Group. Wow, I've gotten that magical feeling all over again................................................................Dave

Magic Moments..

I believe in science and logic as you do but I know there is so much more to the beautiful spirit that exists in all of us. I have no doubt your beloved Cindy and my beloved Doyle were in the experiences we each had...your Butterfly and my Hawk..I smiled when I read your post. Doyle and I used to work so hard in our yard together on different projects. We enjoyed sitting back just like you two after it was all done and sharing a beer while just being together. Those memories are so precious to me.  Both of us loved blues music. I was lost in thought about him driving not too long ago and a song by Keb Mo' started to play. The words "life is beautiful, life is wondorous" echoed with me the rest of the day and I've thought of those words since when I get bogged down in thoughts that serve no purpose. It was just a reminder to me to always reach for love and light...and I will. Wishing everyone who finds themselves here, love and light always...Hugs, M

mojogirl67

ellend said:

Beautiful stories

I believe our loved ones who have passed are watching over us. The legend goes that cardinals are a sign of loved ones who have returned giving us a sign. Its even more meaningful when animals who were dear to your loved ones show themselves to you. I hope these signs give you strength and hope to get through the surgery. We will all be praying, cheering or otherwise pulling for you in our own special ways. Good luck with your upcoming surgery.

Ellen

I believe as well..

You just have to open your heart as well as your eyes...Thank you for the encouragement and well wishes for surgery tomorrow. Greatly appreciated!!..Hugs, M 

SandiaBuddy

Prep and Surgery

Good luck with the prep and upcoming surgery.  We are all pulling for you, respecting your spirit and hoping for the best possible outcome.

Annabelle41415

Husband

Sounds like your husband was trying to show you he was there with you.  I'm so glad that your daughter could see it as well. Take each of those special moments and relive them when you are stressed - it helps.  Enjoy every "moment."  Thank you for sharing your post.  We appreciate all your support for our members here.  BTW my husband too was a Vietnam Vet and I'm thanking you for your husband's service.  They served and with not much respect after they got back so I'm thanking you for supporting him after because sometimes it could get hard.

Kim